1. ‘Are you trying to be the next J.K Rowling?’ Yes that’s right, I am writing a book about a school boy wizard who goes to a school for wizards and battles against evil. Sigh!
2. ‘Ooooh I want to write a novel, I have got the opening sentence in my head already’ If only it was that easy…sigh!
3. ‘Bet you are writing the next ‘Fifty Shades of Grey…..saucy!’ (cue a nudge and a wink) A favourite from older males.
4. Blank look and uncomfortable silence. Make mental note never to ask them to read or review your book.
5. ‘I read a really good book the other night, can’t remember who wrote it, you should read it’ Love this vague response, assumes you both read the same books.
6. ‘Oh…good for you” pause “nice weather we’re having’ – cue point at sky. The classic ‘I am not interested’ distraction technique.
7. Raised eyebrows and look of concern. You can almost hear the alarm bells going off in their head, writer = odd person = slowly move away…
8. Cue the puzzled face. Long silence and then ‘why?’ Good question – if I think about this too much I may change my mind about being a writer!
9. ‘Really? You? A writer?’ Cue the look of disbelief and shaking of head. Is it that much of a shock to you that I like putting sentences together?
10. ‘I bet you are basing one of your characters on me. I don’t have a problem with that!’ Followed by cheeky wink. You never crossed my mind.