We are all sat on the hot cross bun tray in the cake shop window, waiting to be bought by hungry cake customers.
Whilst our thick white icing glistens in the sunlight we discuss the important question for hot cross buns – how do you want to spend your final bun moment?
‘I just want to be eaten quickly’ announces Jim, the fat bun at the corner of the tray. ‘This final bun moment business means nothing to me, I want to be gone in a couple of bites and I don’t care who eats me.’
‘I don’t want to be gobbled up quickly’ I say, giving my final moment of being a bun some thought.
‘Me neither!’ purrs Pam, the pretty looking bun at the back. ‘I want someone to take their time devouring me, slowly placing my fluffy cake bits into their drooling mouth.’
‘Oh you tart Pamela!’ chuckles Jim, making Pam giggle.
‘I just hope someone actually buys me to eat’ says Mike, the hot cross bun sat next to me on the tray. He continues. ‘I am different to you lot, a chunk of me is missing at the back. This means I am destined to be left unsold and thrown in the bin.’
‘I don’t see you as different’ I say quietly, resisting the urge to admit that I have strong feelings for Mike. Love between hot cross buns on the tray is not encouraged as ultimately we are here just to be eaten.
‘Who would want to buy a hot cross bun with a chunk missing?’ asks Mike.
‘I would buy you’ I say breathlessly, admiring his fine bun shape and huge currants.
‘Mike, no one will see your missing chunk from the window, you will be fine’s says Helen, the sensible bun at the front of the tray.
‘I hope my customer is attractive’ purrs Pam, the pretty looking bun. ‘A male model perhaps?’
Jim the fat bun chuckles with laughter. ‘Pam, you will probably get bought by some grubby looking kid’
‘Jim!’ shrieks Pam. ‘Stop it!’
‘Buns – can we stop joking about something so important’ demands Helen. ‘Our final moment as a bun should be special to us!’
The white bony hand enters the cake window and hovers over our tray. Buns squeal with anticipation and a couple of buns chorus ‘pick me!’ It stops over Old Sheila, one of the buns left over from a few days ago. As she is plucked from the tray she shouts ‘yippee’ with excitement.
‘I am so pleased for her’ I say as we all watch a woman leave the shop with a smile, clutching her paper cake bag containing Old Sheila.
‘Hopefully she will get her final moment wish of being eaten and washed down with a nice cup of herbal tea,’ gushes Helen, remembering Old Sheila’s delight at the wonderful aroma from the herbal teas sold in the cake shop.
‘I haven’t really thought about how I want to spend my final moment’ I say thinking out loud.
‘Just avoid the bin’ says Mike. ‘Once you are in the bin all you can look forward to is going hard, mouldy and being nibbled by rats!’
‘Mike don’t talk about that!” I say, with a serious tone to my voice, making Mike glance at me.
‘Check out my dream customer!’ purrs Pam as a handsome young man enters the cake shop. The white bony hand enters the window and hovers over our tray. As if by magic it grabs Pam who squeals with delight. We all watch the young man walk out of the shop and proudly present the bag to his old grandmother.
‘Ha!’ bellows Jim. ‘Serves Pam right!’
‘I can’t stop thinking about being eaten by rats’ says Mike . ‘I know I am different but I don’t deserve that.’
‘Trust me Mike everything is going to be ok’ I say reassuringly, fighting back crumb tears at the thought of my beloved Mike being eaten by a gang of rats.
‘Thanks for being my tray friend’ says Mike looking my way and filling my fluffy cake insides with a warm fuzzy feeling.
‘You too Mike’ I say, concealing a blush.
As the buns talk amongst themselves I think about my final moment. Helen’s words of it being ‘special’ linger in my mind and I find myself gazing in Mike’s direction.
A young couple, holding hands, enters the shop. The white bony hand appears above us and grabs Mike. I am overcome with a rush of joy intermingled with intense pain. I am so pleased for him that he has been bought but I know that losing him will tear me apart.
‘I have been bought!’ exclaims Mike cheerfully as he is lifted off the tray. He becomes serious for a second, stares at me and shouts ‘I will miss you!’
I turn away as my little crumb heart breaks into two. Helen sends me a worried glance as crumb tears start to pour down my bun face. As if by magic strong white fingers wrap around me and gently raise me from the tray. ‘Wait for me Mike!’ I yell as the tray of hot cross buns below erupts with cheers and whistles.
‘I am a bit scared’ whispers Mike as we sit next to each other inside in the paper bag.
‘It will be ok Mike, we have each other’ I say wriggling up to him.
‘I am glad we are going to spend our final moment together’ says Mike. ‘I know my timing is not great but I have secretly been in love with you on the tray’
‘I have been in love with you too Mike’ I squeal with delight.
We are placed together on a blue plate on a table next to a sash window. Alongside us is a red teapot and two red mugs. The sounds of birds happily twittering outside fills the room whilst rays of golden sunshine light up our table.
As our young couple fall into a romantic embrace I snuggle up to Mike. This was how I wanted to end my bun days.
Photo source: Photopin.