For years I lived inside my husband’s shadow. I lacked self confidence, struggled to make eye contact with people and preferred to sink behind him.
He was the funny one out of us, the gregarious one and the one people came round to our flat or house to see, not me. He had an army of friends and his career was on the up.
When we married and had kids, I sunk even further into his shadow. I didn’t care about how I dressed, I rarely wore makeup, I cut my hair off, as it was more practical to maintain and I accepted that this was how my life was going to be.
My weekends and spare time revolved around the children, entertaining the people who had come round to see my husband and this is sad to say, watching him play his video games.
He wasn’t controlling or anything. I want to make this clear. I didn’t know myself. I only knew life in his shadow.
Ever since I was a little girl I had dreamed of being a writer. I spent all my childhood sat in my father’s garage making my own books and when I wasn’t doing that I was running across muddy fields in search of lost lands and mystical creatures. As I grew older I put this dream to one side.
Then one day, when the kids were older and arguing. My husband was playing yet another video game I went upstairs and started a blog. I didn’t need any money to start it and I think I started out with 1 follower. As I was low in confidence I hid my identity and I didn’t tell my family. It was something I did in private.
To my amazement my blog grew faster than I had expected. In my posts I started to become the person I wanted to be; confident, funny and someone who knew her own mind. People started to laugh at my posts and they enjoyed my weird take on life.
A year after launching my blog I won an award. It won ‘best comedy blog’ and was voted for by the online community.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. People wanted to read what I had to say. I had something to offer the world.
I started to change on the outside with the help of this new found confidence. I grew my hair, overhauled my wardrobe, took up yoga in the mornings and I walked like I had grown a little taller. I stopped eating bread and cereal in the mornings. This combined with the regular 10 mins of yoga led to a significant reduction in my weight. I stopped watching my husband play video games and I started writing in the evenings.
People started following me on my social media and soon it was me attracting attention. I won the ‘best comedy blog’ award again and gained 70k followers on Wattpad.
When I started my blog I woke up to myself and I stepped out of my husband’s shadow.
People moan about the negative side to social media but what goes unnoticed are stories like mine. Social media has helped me to discover a new part of me. It gave me some much needed self confidence and the power to change my life.