Apple Pride #blogbattle #flashfiction

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These short story contests are organised by the one and only Rachael Ritchey, author of the ‘Beauty Thief’. 

If you think you are tough enough to compete come and join us!

The word this week is DROP

Here is this week’s Blondewritemore entry.

 

Apple Pride

“What are you thinking about my precious?” asked Barry the apple, to his apple girlfriend Ruby. They were both hanging from the tree in the orchard, enjoying the warm afternoon sunshine.

“Oh nothing really” said Ruby. “I was thinking about something I overheard the humans saying in the orchard earlier”

“Tell me more my precious – I am all ears and pips!” gushed Barry excitedly.

“They were talking about old proverbs” explained Ruby.

“Oh” said Barry sounding disappointed. “For a minute there I thought you were going to tell me that the humans had been admiring me”

“No Barry” said Ruby. She continued “Their conversation was really interesting. These proverbs are little bits of wisdom wrapped up in a cute little phrase.  There was one proverb which really hit home with me but I have forgotten it”

Barry struggled to look interested in what she was saying causing Ruby to frown at him.

He gave her his best smile and she carried on.

“One of the proverbs was about pride, I wish I could remember it, oh I think an apple maggot may have eaten my brain”.

“Proverbs are nonsense if you ask me” said Barry. “Listen Ruby, sorry to be the bearer of bad news but I think I will be dropping from the apple tree before you”

Ruby the apple gasped at Barry’s admission.

“You must have noticed that I am ripening at an astonishing rate” said Barry proudly.

Ruby stared at Barry.

“I know I have been a bit distant with you lately Ruby” said Barry. “I’m sorry, all this ripening action has taken it out of me.”

Ruby remained silent.

“Only special apples ripen as quickly as me. You must have realised that I was special when we started dating” said Barry before sighing loudly.

“Yes Barry” said Ruby. Sometimes it was easier just to agree with Barry.

“Gosh Ruby I am now a glorious red colour on one side and a deep green on the other” said Barry beaming with pride.

Ruby went silent and thought about everything Barry had said. After a while she asked “Isn’t it best to be picked from the tree rather than off the orchard floor?”

“Nonsense!” scoffed Barry. “Apples that fall from the tree are the greatest kind. It takes strength and bravery to detach oneself from the great tree”

“Hmmmm” said Ruby. “What will I do without you once you drop?”

“I will keep you safe” came a voice from the apple next to Ruby. Barry looked round to see Vince the apple grinning at him.

Barry started to feel agitated and he felt his pips rattle inside him. “She’s not interested in you Vince!” he said fiercely.

“Ruby will be ok with me” said Vince. “I will show her a good time, whilst you are lying on the orchard floor Barry”.

Ruby trying not to blush at Vince’s intentions stole a quick glance at Vince’s fine apple shape and sighed.

Barry wriggled with frustration. The thought of dropping from the tree was starting to lose its attractiveness.

“Barry I will be ok, I promise” said Ruby reassuringly.

Barry shook his apple head. “I am not sure you will be Ruby, you have benefited enormously from my apple wisdom and intellect whilst hanging next to me”.

“Do you think so?” asked Ruby.

“Oh yes my girl, I wouldn’t like to think what will happen to you without me” gushed Barry turning to face the sun.

“Will our apple relationship end when we fall off the tree?” asked Ruby.

Barry grimaced. “I am afraid so my precious. I can’t possibly carry on loving you when I am busy winning ‘best apple’ prizes in the local show and you are being turned into apple puree”.

“Do you think that will really happen?” asked Ruby, her voice tinged with panic.

“Oh come on now Ruby, you only have to look at me to know that I will be sent straight to the local show table once I drop” said Barry. “You will make a good puree though my precious.”

Ruby sighed loudly and said “I wish I could think of that proverb you know, its really bugging me Barry”.

“Have you seen the size of my leaf Ruby?” sighed Barry. “I don’t think I have ever seen a leaf so big and so colourful”.

Vince chuckled. “Barry you want to start paying more attention to your girlfriend and less attention to yourself”.

“Mind your own apple business Vince” snapped Barry.

Vince laughed.

Barry scowled at Vince and turned back to Ruby. “You understand me don’t you my precious?” he asked looking longingly at her.

“Oh yes Barry I do” said Ruby. “I just wish I could remember that proverb”.

Barry screeched loudly “Ruby I am close to dropping off this tree and all you can think about is some silly phrase. You should be making the most of me!”

“Calm down Barry” reassured Ruby. “You are making the tree wobble”.

“Oh Ruby tell me that I am a special apple” pleaded Barry. “Use that special voice of yours too, you know the voice you use at night, the one that makes my apple core feel all tingly”.

“You are a very special apple Barry” purred Ruby in her attractive apple voice which made Barry start to quiver.

“You see Vince, I have all the apple luck!” shouted Barry. “I look amazing, I am ripening much quicker than you and I have an apple girlfriend who talks to me in a special way”.

“I wish I could remember this proverb, it’s really annoying me” said Ruby turning away to give it some thought.

There was a snap and all the apples on the tree gasped as Barry fell from the tree.

“Pride comes before a fall” said Ruby sounding relieved and turning back  “I knew it would come to me Barry!”

 “Barry?” 

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/54524572@N00/10406578606″>Center Grove Orchard (#1526)</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

 

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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

25 thoughts on “Apple Pride #blogbattle #flashfiction

      1. AB. SO. LUTELY! Gosh, just think of how many readers I could have potentially lost had you not lent your writing genius saving Tucker John’s day. I warn you however, he is not the type to admit that a woman helped him, not without a lot of prodding. So I will speak for him. We appreciate you! πŸ˜€

  1. Haha! These apples. I wonder what Vince’s apple face looked like when Barry made his drop. I wonder if he waggled his apple-eyebrows at Ruby. πŸ™‚ My favorite line: “‘Mind your own apple business Vince’ snapped Barry.” Ha! And Vince laughing was great. πŸ™‚ You always know how to make a gal smile. πŸ™‚

      1. You can use it almost any time. “Sheesh, it’s beautiful out side.” “Sheesh, that is expensive.” “Sheesh, don’t have to be so rude.” “Sheesh, that’s too bad.” it’s almost like a sigh,you just use different tones. “I am trying to write in peace, sheesh!”

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