Smelly Beauty #blogbattle #fairytale

These short story contests are organised by the one and only Rachael Ritchey, author of the ‘Beauty Thief’. If you think you are tough enough to compete come and join us!

The word this week is MUSK

Here is the Blondewritemore Entry:

Smelly Beauty

15370060053_977fb4e83b

Once upon a time in a faraway land there lived a beautiful princess, who was desperate to find a handsome prince to marry.

“What’s wrong with me?” shrieked Princess Esmerelda raising her hands in desperation. Her Lady in Waiting covered her nose with her handkerchief and stared back at the agitated Princess.

“I am such a good catch for these princes; I have my own castle, a huge army, hundreds of white horses and loads of servants – why can’t I get past the first date?”

The Lady in Waiting shook her head blankly whilst still holding her nose.

Two mice stared at the princess from the safety of their mouse hole.

The grey mouse Malcolm, shook his head disapprovingly at the Princess.

“We have to do something about our Princess problem Roger” he said before looking at his friend.

Roger turned to face him with a tiny doll clothes peg attached to his nose. “I have done something about it” said Roger before pointing towards his pegged nose.

Malcolm sighed. “That’s not solving the problem is it Roger?”

Roger shrugged. “It works for me. I bet she’s over ripe today!” he said nodding towards the princess. “There is talk of a heat wave outside”.

Malcolm nodded sadly. “Yep Roger, her body odour has reached new smelly proportions”

“Shame you don’t have a peg. I am off to nibble on my nut” sighed Roger.

Malcolm grabbed Roger. “Oh no you don’t Roger! You are going to help me sort this fairy tale out”.

Roger tried to wriggle free but couldn’t as Malcolm was too strong.

“Errrr – I don’t know whether you’ve forgotten but we are little mice Malcolm” gasped Roger as Malcolm pinned him down.

“Roger – in fairy tales little furry animals like mice are always helping out humans” said Malcolm.

Roger shook his head disapprovingly. “What can we do? She has another date tomorrow with some Prince from a distant land. It will go the same way. He will catch a whiff of her arm pits and it will be all over”.

“We have to do something. Even the smallest person can change the course of the future” said Malcolm looking thoughtful.

“Can you get off my head?” asked Roger.

“Be quiet I think I have a plan” said Malcolm.

“Does it involve getting yourself a nose peg too?” asked Roger.

“We borrow the Lady in Waiting’s ‘White Musk’ roll on deodorant” planned Malcolm. “I saw it yesterday in her room whilst being chased by that pesky castle cat”

“This does not sound good” cried Roger wriggling free of Malcolm’s grip.

Malcolm nodded. “We will roll it on the Princess’s arm pits whilst she’s asleep” he said.

Roger let out a yelp. “No that’s way too dangerous. The smell of the princess close up could kill us”

Malcolm stood up strong on his hind legs. “Come on Roger! In the fairy tale smelly beauty here marries her handsome prince”

Roger cowered away from him. “The fairy tale could just end with her living alone and us nibbling nuts” he said.

“No it can’t end like that!” said Malcolm grabbing hold of Roger and dragging him into the labyrinth of dark mouse holes.

They crept into the Lady in Waiting’s room and scurried over to the dressing table.

At the foot of it they both looked up and saw the bottle of ‘White Musk’ deodorant.

“Up you go Roger” said Malcolm.

“MALCOLM – I am not doing this! I already have a solution and it’s called a nose peg” screeched Roger.

Malcolm sighed and shook his head. “You are not being a good friend Roger”

Whilst Roger kept watch for the castle cat Malcolm started to climb the wooden leg of the dressing table. Once up on top he shuffled his mouse bottom against the deodorant bottle, tipping it onto the floor.

Malcolm shimmied down and they both placed their paws on the bottle rolling it into the mouse hole.

When darkness fell and the room was filled with the Princess’s snores the mice crept out. They rolled the deodorant bottle across the stone floor.

At the bottom of her bed they stopped. Malcolm considered how they were going to get the bottle onto the bed.

“Ha! Your plan has failed!” scoffed Roger.

“Roger, this is a fairy tale. Small furry animals don’t give up at the first sign of trouble said Malcolm scratching his ears.

He paused and thought. As if by magic his eyes lit up. “They call upon their bird friends!” Malcolm announced excitedly scurrying over to the open window.

At the window he let out a loud squeak. They waited and waited.

“Look Malcolm it was a great idea but I don’t think….” Roger was interrupted as two pigeons flew into the room.

Malcolm gave a cheer and scurried over to the foot of the bed. “Right lads” he called to the birds. “I need this deodorant bottle on the bed”.

“Oh my goodness this room stinks” chirped one of the pigeons.

“What a smelly beauty!” chirped the other.

“Just get on with it!” ordered Malcolm.

The pigeons grabbed a bottle end each with their beaks and flew it up on to the bed. They then shot out of the window gasping for breath.

“Right Roger let’s get the deodorant lid off” said Malcolm clawing at the lid. Roger dug his claws in and the plastic lid came off revealing a round deodorant ball head.

The smell of the white musk deodorant was a welcome relief for Malcolm.

They pushed the bottle with their paws and noses over the bed covers towards the sleeping Princess.

“I bet you are glad she sleeps with her arms behind her head” said Roger watching his friend gag at the strong odour coming from the Princess’s armpits.

“Good grief” gasped Malcolm rubbing his nose. “It’s no wonder some of her dates ended with the Princes becoming unconscious.”

Focusing back on the task at hand Malcolm said “Roger grab the other end and I will take the business end”.

“Hang on, as I have the pegged nose, I can take the business end” offered Roger.

Malcolm grinned before saying “thanks friend”.

Carefully they lifted the deodorant ball to the Princess’s bare armpits and rolled on the deodorant.

She didn’t stir and after they had applied a thick coat of deodorant they shuffled round to the other pit.

Soon the room was filled with the refreshing scent of ‘White Musk’ deodorant.

The two mice rolled the deodorant bottle off the bed and left it by the Princess’s glass slippers.

They sat and snoozed in their mouse hole and waited.

The following evening the mice sat and watched the Princess skip merrily around the room whilst her shocked Lady in Waiting frantically rubbed her nose.

“Oh he’s so gorgeous” cried Princess Esmeralda. “He said we should get married straight away”

“Looks like we have sorted out the fairy tale” said Roger, removing the peg from his nose.

“Oh yes” cried Malcolm. “I was right, even the smallest furry person can change the course of a fairy tale!”

“Errrr Malcolm, just checking, do we have to do the deodorant thing every night?” asked Roger.

Malcolm nodded “she’s only just agreed to marry him Roger. We need to get her up the aisle.”

“I hate fairy tales” said Roger.

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/48581324@N08/15370060053″>Neuschwanstein Castle</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a

 

Posted by

I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

31 thoughts on “Smelly Beauty #blogbattle #fairytale

  1. 😀 another great tale! I love how one of the mice is realistic in his thinking (as realistic as a peg nosed talking mouse can be) while the other is all about fairy tales and happy endings! I really enjoyed this.

      1. Oh no…noooo hmmm I don’t think that would be a good idea. Maybe you should ask your husband what he thinks about that first, the non-deodorized you and mice being in the bed.

  2. Poor Malcolm and Roger. Having to go through the same routine every night, but I’m thinking, what will the prince think when she’s up the aisle? Will he take her to his castle where there’s no Roger and Malcolm to deodorise her? I can see a divorce looming…. 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s