The Blonde Creative Agony Aunt #writer #writersproblems

Blonde Creative Agony Aunt

I have decided to transform into a ‘Creative Agony Aunt’ for the day, helping troubled writers resolve matters of the heart using creative skills.

My qualifications for being a ‘Creative Agony Aunt’ are:

  • I like to talk a lot.
  • I like to give advice on things which I don’t know much about.
  • I consider myself to be a very creative person. (sigh!)

Here is the email from this week’s troubled writer:

Dear Blondewritemore

I have fallen madly in love with my fictional character – ‘Captain Starlight’. I created him a couple of months ago and now I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s on my mind night and day. I can’t stop penning steamy romantic scenes which is totally the wrong direction for my serious thriller set in space.

My electric fan is constantly whirring as I am in permanent hot flush mode.

I need to get my novel back on track and stop daydreaming about Captain Starlight in his snazzy space suit, wearing his space jet pack and leaping around with a huge laser gun whilst saving the universe. 

Hope you can help!

A troubled brunette writer

 

Hello there troubled brunette writer, 

Firstly let me congratulate you on dreaming up such a fine specimen as Captain Starlight. I have read your work and I too found myself reaching for my electric fan. At one point I had to close my eyes and take five as my imagination was running away with itself.  My goodness you really went to town on describing his looks!

Now, you need to get this fictional character crush under control. This novel is not going to write itself whilst you are sat staring into space thinking about Captain Starlight. 

To do this you need to imagine Captain Starlight coping with the demands of ‘real life’. This can sometimes be a killer for any relationship. 

Adding some ‘real life’ scenarios to a fictional character crush will:

  • Dampen down those hot thoughts of yours.
  • Show you how impractical life can be living with a fictional character. Some of my readers will know I used this effective method to work through my feelings for the fictional character Legolas from Lord of the Rings. 

I would therefore like you to write a short piece on Captain Starlight in the following real life situations:

  • Taking out the rubbish and one of the bin bags splits, spewing rubbish everywhere. 
  • Doing the weekly shop in a supermarket with busy narrow aisles and then carrying the shopping home in the rain.

By the time you will have read the piece back to yourself I can assure you your crush will be well under control.

Here are some pointers for you when imagining Captain Starlight coping with these situations: 

How would he cope with splitting his snazzy space suit or getting some muck on it whilst picking up all that rubbish? His outfit is great for space adventures but not very practical for key day to day activities such as this one. 

How will he navigate a supermarket trolley down a busy narrow aisle with that bulky jetpack on his back? I had the same issue with Legolas and his bow and arrow. 

How will Captain Starlight manage carrying that huge laser gun and all those bags of shopping home in the rain? He is going to look bedraggled and be a little grumpy when he gets home, I can assure you! 

Failing these options you could also try: 

  • Changing the name of him to something less exciting / heart racing!
  • Killing him off within your story, harsh but sometimes needed. 
  • Chucking a bucket of cold water over yourself 
  • Get out more! 


Happy writing and I can’t wait to read your serious thriller set in space – sigh!

Lots of virtual and creative hugs

Blondewritemore – your Creative Agony Aunt 🙂

 

Tune in for next week’s edition where this Agony Aunt helps a worried sandy blonde haired writer apologise to her friend using micro fiction!

 

Photo: Shutterstock

 

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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

51 thoughts on “The Blonde Creative Agony Aunt #writer #writersproblems

      1. At the risk of high-jacking this comment thread and because I think it should be recognised – You’re blogs are humorous insightful, inspiring and a great counter to some of the writer angst I, and possibly others find ourselves in. So Thank you. It’s greatly appreciated.

      1. I then it’s my bubbly personality and I like a thrill – I like to cook tea at 5.50 instead of 5pm, I like to iron downstairs and I like to put mayo on my chips instead of tomato ketchup

  1. Wow! Cat fight! Hint to Blondewritesmore….Johnny Carson, late night comedic genius, used to insult people with the following line….”He was as exciting as a jar of mayonaise…”. Just saying.

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