The New Pop Group #BlogBattle #flashfiction

These blog battles or short story contests are run by the amazing Rachael Ritchey. If you think you are tough enough please join us.

This week’s word is Legumes

Genre: Comedy

For noting: no legumes were hurt in the making of the photo below. 

The New Pop Group

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A frozen pea, a happy split pea, a grumpy marrowfat pea and two little lentils came together on the dinner plate to form a new pop group.

It had been in existence for two minutes and thirty six seconds when a meeting was held to discuss the group’s chart topping plans.

“What do you think makes a successful pop group?” asked the happy split pea grinning at her fellow group members.

“The pop group needs to look hot and have the right commercial image” said the frozen pea.

“The pop group’s dance moves need to be sic!” said the grumpy marrowfat pea.

“The pop group’s sound needs to be fresh” piped up the little lentils.

“Ok, looks like we can easily achieve all that!” gushed the happy split pea. “is there anything else we need?”

“Our group needs a name” said the frozen pea.

“When we split up it needs to be dramatic” piped up the little lentils.

“Good point” said the grumpy marrowfat pea. “Our dramatic break up needs to follow a well publicised difficult patch but it should still come as a complete shock to the group and the fans.”

An uncomfortable silence descended upon the new pop group as they thought about the unthinkable.

The frozen pea broke the silence. “I can’t imagine what life would be like without our pop group” he said glumly. 

“Splitting up would be awful” said the happy split pea.

“Lets stay together!” shouted the little lentils causing cheers and whistles to break out from the other group members.

“Yes lets stay together and work through our bad patches!” shrieked the happy split pea leaping into the air with joy.

“Being in a new and talented pop group feels so good again!” cried the frozen pea. “I feel so pumped right now!”

More cheers and whistles followed.

“Errrr we still need a name for our pop group” said the grumpy marrowfat pea.

The group fell silent once again.

“I got this!” cried the frozen pea jumping and down. “What about the The Jackson Five?”

“That’s been used before” sighed the grumpy marrowfat pea.

“In the human pop world maybe, but not in the Legume pop world” replied the frozen pea with an excited face.

“More importantly we are not all called Jackson” snapped the grumpy marrowfat pea, glaring at the frozen pea.

“That’s just low level name detail, I think it could really work” replied the frozen pea looking at the other group members for support.

“Take That!” yelled the little lentils in unison, bobbing up and down on the plate.

“Give me strength! That name has been used before, we need something original!” shouted the grumpy marrowfat pea before glaring at both of the little lentils.

“I think this pop group is going through its first difficult patch. We can’t decide on a name” groaned the happy split pea.

“As an amateur to the pop music business I have done a lot of bedtime reading about what life is like in a pop group” said the frozen pea.

“Any earth shattering revelations?” asked the grumpy marrowfat pea.

“Yes, it’s not easy!” said the frozen pea looking at the other group members with a sense of pride.

“No it isn’t” sighed the grumpy marrowfat pea, staring at the frozen pea.

“Please stick with it” urged the happy split pea sensing the grumpy marrowfat pea’s frustrations.

“I am trying but it’s hard for a serious music artist like myself being surrounded by pop amateurs” said the grumpy marrowfat pea still staring at the frozen pea.

There was a groan from the frozen pea causing all the group to look in his direction.,”Oh no I am defrosting! Can we hurry up with a name?” 

“Sorry we can’t do that. Great things like pop group names take time”  said the grumpy marrowfat pea.

“Unlucky!” chanted the little lentils.

“Can you hurry up and not make a mess?” asked the grumpy marrowfat pea.

Another uncomfortable silence befell the newly formed pop group.

“It feels like we are going through another bad patch. Where have the good times gone?” cried the happy split pea.

“I don’t feel the same anymore” said the frozen pea looking glumly at the puddle he was sat in.

The happy split pea and the little lentils suddenly huddled together.

“This is going to be difficult. I have something to say” said the happy split pea breaking away from the huddle.

“Are you worried about our outfits for the pop video?” asked the frozen pea looking concerned.

The happy split pea took a deep breath “the little lentils have asked me to form a new pop group with them”

Everyone turned to watch the little lentils jump up and down with excitement.

“Nooooooooo!” screamed the frozen pea as the news started to sink in.

“I am so sorry but there were too many bad times” cried the happy split pea at the sight of the distressed frozen pea.

I didn’t see it coming” wept the frozen garden pea.

“We did!” chanted the little lentils.

The group members all looked at each other blankly.

“Thanks guys for everything” said the happy split pea.

“I just can’t believe you are walking away from the opportunity of working with a serious music artist like myself” said the grumpy marrowfat pea.

“I can’t believe you are doing this to us!” wailed the frozen pea.

Another awkward silence followed.

“I think it’s best if the little lentils and I leave now” said the happy split pea gesturing to the little lentils to exit the dinner plate.

“Lets go rehearse!” chanted the little lentils.

The frozen pea stopped sobbing and looked up “you have a name then?”

“That’s a bit quick!” exclaimed the grumpy marrowfat pea.

“Yes we have a name thanks” sighed the happy split pea. “We have decided to call ourselves The Legumes!”

“Oh” said the grumpy marrowfat pea looking shocked. “Good name!”

As they watched their former band members exit the plate the now defrosted pea leant closer to the grumpy marrowfat pea and whispered “do you want to form a pop duo and be called The Jackson 2?”

 

The End 

 

 

Posted by

I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

43 thoughts on “The New Pop Group #BlogBattle #flashfiction

  1. Really enjoyed this. You can write humorous fiction as well as non-fiction. Not easy to do. I’ve missed your blog while I was away, so I’m looking forward to lots of laughs πŸ™‚

  2. πŸ˜€ That’s awesome. Love this line: β€œOur dramatic break up needs to follow a well publicised difficult patch but it should still come as a complete shock to the group and the fans.” Brilliant dialogue (and foreshadowing).

    Regarding your disclaimer above… I don’t know. It looks like the second legume from the left got a little squashed with your red pen.

    1. Oh my goodness really? Maybe your right and my disclaimer is wrong? Gasp! Will check in on them to see if they are ok πŸ™‚

      Thx for reading and commenting Sarah! Happy Tuesday

  3. Yours is brilliant! I don’t think I’m going to scrape time to write anything this week, but hopefully soon. Don’t put yourself down Lucy – it’s brilliant! πŸ™‚

  4. Such treachery from the split pea! And those lentils… such naughty little things. πŸ™‚ I loved this. And I’m glad that you got there in the end and battled the legumes into submission. πŸ™‚

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