The Blonde Creative Agony Aunt #Writer #Amwriting



When I am not writing my debut novel I like to transform into a ‘Creative Agony Aunt.’

I help troubled writers resolve matters of the heart  using their writing skills. If you missed last week’s post please click here.

My qualifications for being a ‘Creative Agony Aunt’ are:

  • I like to talk a lot.
  • I like to give advice on things which I don’t know much about.
  • I consider myself to be a very creative person. (sigh!)
  • I care about my readers.

Here is the email from this week’s troubled Blondewritemore reader:

Dear Blondewritemore 

I think I might be a writer. For years I have ignored my love of words. I told myself writing wasn’t for me. Lately I have started to question who I am.

I like to write stuff in private and it feels so good. This is what I want to do. 

I am worried about the reactions from those around me when I break the news to them that I enjoy a spot of creative writing.

Is this normal to experience these feelings?

A frustrated dark-haired reader


Hello there frustrated dark-haired reader

Yes it’s all normal. When you come out as a writer you go through a number of stages. Let me explain:


This is where you start to question your identity as a non-writer. In your head you start to ask yourself “is this really me?” and “am I really a non-writer?”

Everyday you will find yourself longing for a white piece of paper and a pencil. Coffee shops and bookshops will start to entice you in. Characters will dance in front of your eyes and ideas for plots wake will you at 3am.

Again and again you question yourself “why am I thinking like this?” and then one day whilst standing in a shop queue it will hit you. “Oh my goodness I think I might be a writer!”

2. Internal Acceptance 

This is where you stop questioning yourself and accept the fact that you are a writer. A creative life is calling you. Every time you look in the mirror you find yourself saying “I am a writer!”

This is a huge step for you in becoming a proper writer.

You will then start to feel worried about how people around you will react. Telling someone that you are into creative writing is not easy. Creative writing conjures up so many different things in the minds of non-writers.

I think you are at this stage my friend.

3. Supportive friends 

This stage is where you seek out some supportive friends to tell first.

Sometimes its easier to admit “I am a writer” first to a circle of close friends then it is a loved one or parents.

Supportive friends will give you a hug, tell you that they always knew you were wordy and that they would love to read some of your future stories. Cherish these friends.

Unsupportive friends will laugh or tease. This may set you back a couple of steps but don’t give up.

4. Loved ones 

Telling loved ones is not as bad as you think it will be. Be prepared for a wide range of reactions. As I have said before creative writing can mean different things to some people.

Here are a selection:

  • “You are going to be the next J.K. Rowling”
  •  “Are you feeling alright love?”
  •  “Does this mean you are into Amateur Dramatics as well?”
  •  “Why?”
  •  “Isn’t Facebook enough for you?”
  •  “You have always had a way with words”
  •  “A bloke at work wrote a book…never read it”


5. The Change

This is the stage where you start to morph into a proper writer.

Your coffee intake will increase, your notebook collection will dramatically grow over the course of a week and you will find yourself staring into space a lot. You will start to consider setting up a blog so that you can talk to other writers and you will start daydreaming about bumping into literary agents in the frozen aisle of your local supermarket.

You will experience joy and elation as you start to write. There is no more secrecy and life feels good!

I hope you reach stage 5 my friend. Its not easy but I think you will get there.

Virtual hugs

Your Creative Agony Aunt


Next week this creative agony aunt helps a brunette writer come to terms with her first ever Steampunk dream.


Photo: Shutterstock

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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

50 thoughts on “The Blonde Creative Agony Aunt #Writer #Amwriting

  1. Love it girl! Great advice and I hope it helps your “Dark Haired Reader”. Maybe No. 5 should have mentioned an incredible urge to purchase and wear a beret?

  2. I am sort of closet writer myself, the closet is of Narnian proportions thanks to the interweb a whole lot more people get to not read my stuff but thats Ok in the real world I am just the guy who stares in space with faraway look till the coffee in my cup gets cold (and I reheat it in the microwave thats not a crime, right? It doesnt say so in the manual) with desk cluttered with written lil pieces of paper I try desperately to hide from prying eyes

    ps my supportive friends are imaginary well they live in the interweb so its the same thing so I been told when I to bring them up in conversation over a forgotten cup of coffee

    1. I love the Narnian analogy – there is a blog post on there! I might do one and acknowledge you.
      I think you are a fab closet writer Beaton and I enjoy ‘battling’ with you every Tuesday 🙂

      1. Do and please Do ^_^
        you know how they say keep your enemies close but battle your friends every Tuesday well if thats not what they said, thats what they shoulda said 🙂

  3. Lol at ‘Isn’t facebook enough for you?’, and I’d like to add to the reactions of family and friends (whom the majority I now tell nothing!) ‘I’ve often thought I will write a book.’
    They say it like it’s easy and commonplace, like I’ve just told them I’ve switched to a cheaper electricity supplier!

    1. I remember when I was one of those people that scoffed and shrugged when I said I would write a book. I thought it was easy- especially writing a bestseller. If Nora Jones (I hope I’m naming the right author) can write fifteen in a year, why can’t I?

      Eventually I learned my lesson. Now I have a healthy understanding with my inner author.

  4. Good advice! Sometimes unsupportive friends can also be motivating. Revenge has certainly fueled many plots, ha ha! 😉

  5. I’m soft of fed up with people asking me if I’m going to be the next J.K. Rowling, as if she’s the only writer in the world. Who wants to be a clone? Not I, although I could do with the money. I tell them that, although I write fantasy, it’s nothing like hers and that just because my surname is Potter, doesn’t meant that I have magical powers (I wish!).

  6. Am here to binge read and bulk comment….hold your horses! LOL and ROFL at this post! Loved the “Does this mean you are into Amateur Dramatics as well?” comment…! ….we all have ever-expanding notebook collections (I always think that if aliens ever come to Earth looking to pick off writers and beam them up Scotty, that they’ll go straight to the people with excessive notebook collections!!!)…had to laugh at your “start daydreaming about bumping into literary agents in the frozen aisle of your local supermarket”…I do that all.the.time….!

  7. I love this post. I’m surprised this subject isn’t talked about more in fact. I feel that anyone in any stage of writing will go through variations of these phases.

    For me, I am terrified of Nano this year. Why? Last year I met 50k five days early. Now the self doubt crawls back in, and I wonder if I got lucky, or if I really am a writer. I plan on writing about that one too. All in all, if we aren’t trying our best, the self doubt would not come in, so I use it as a sign that I am doing something right somewhere.

    If everyone were able to do it, it wouldn’t be much fun.

  8. That is scarily accurate! And the selection of responses pure gold.

    I always tell the story of my dad, and how he found out I’m a writer.

    A couple of months after presenting him with my very first manuscript (Pearseus), I asked him if he had read it yet. Slightly annoyed, he said, “no, I’m re-reading Martin’s books right now, so it’ll have to wait.”

    Then, a further couple of months later, he called me late at night. “Great book, son, with some fantastic ideas! I was totally hooked. You know what this guy did? He took historical elements from ancient Greece and created a space opera with them.”

    Brief pause. Then, I just had to ask. Very quietly. “What guy?”

    Dad’s voice betrayed his confusion. “Why, whoever wrote this. There was no name on the manuscript.”

    So, it turns out my dad lives in the kind of world where random strangers hand me unsigned manuscripts for him to read. Sigh…

  9. Ah, the painful coming out as a writer. I remember this well. I don’t think anyone was surprised though, considering how much I read. i’m still not sure I’m taken seriously though….

    Love the new theme by the way. 🙂

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