Things You Will Learn Whilst Being Raised By A Blonde Writer Mummy #Writers #Writing

#writer #parent

There are many things you will learn whilst being raised by a blonde writer mummy:

  1. Your blonde writer mummy will come into her own when it comes to English and Art homework. On other subjects you will learn to ask others.
  2. Your blonde writer mummy will lecture you about spending too much time online. You will learn to accept that she will regularly go on about her late night online conversations with her international blog followers.
  3. Your blonde writer mother’s mood swings will be connected to her writing. You will learn that when she has her head placed in her hands and is sobbing at the kitchen table, it’s because her fictional character has finally died and passed over, not because she argued with your father.
  4. Your blonde writer mummy will be easier to get money out of whilst she is nibbling cheese. You will learn to approach her with cheese.
  5. Your blonde writer mummy will ask you to read her short stories whilst you are stuck in queues, traffic jams or relaxing on the beach. You will learn to nod, smile and pretend to read them to keep her happy.
  6. Your blonde writer mummy will look distant a lot. You will learn that when she looks like this she is deep in creative thought. If anyone asks you whether your mother is ok (ref: the distant look) you will find yourself saying “she’s a writer!”
  7. Your blonde writer mummy will drag you into her debut novel-writing soap opera. You will learn to live through the highs and lows of her second, third and twentieth drafts. It is emotionally draining for the entire family, including her beloved cat, who feels the need to be cuddled a lot by the blonde woman up the street.
  8. Your blonde writer mummy will be seen doing cartwheels and heard squealing in the garden after she has had a brilliant new idea for a story. You will learn to appreciate these rare moments of literary happiness.
  9. Your blonde writer mummy will struggle with things like cooking, sewing, ironing, washing and knitting. You will learn that she has other strengths. Sigh!
  10. Your blonde writer mummy’s fictional characters will feel like family relatives to you.

Happy writing folks!

photo credit: Upsplash

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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

45 thoughts on “Things You Will Learn Whilst Being Raised By A Blonde Writer Mummy #Writers #Writing

  1. There are no words.

    I’d like to think you’re joking, but I do have to stress how important it is for children to be well-rounded. The only subject I ever failed is one of the most useless subjects on the planet. I come from a long line of creatively talented people, but I’ve definitely been the most successful when it comes to writing. Being well-rounded and cultured helps a great deal.

  2. Spot on! In fact, several of these probably apply to brown-haired men, too. But the cheese will need to be melted. Just one of those things…

    The last one reminded me of an apocryphal story about a French author, who was notorious for getting caught up in his books all the time. One day he was writing, when one of his friends burst into the author’s room yelling the name of a woman, who was one of the man’s characters. “She’s downstairs, waiting to see you,” he said with a straight face.

    The author immediately jumped from his desk and rushed down the stairs to meet the woman, excitedly patting down his disheveled clothes.

    Only when he noticed his friend’s laughter did the the poor man put two and two together.

    By the way, Roxy dropped by for lunch. She said to say ‘hi’.

  3. I keep waiting for the Kiddo to start asking others for homework help, but unfortunately he still is under the impression that mommy knows everything. One day I may just get those thirty minutes a day of my life back.

      1. Happy Monday to you as well. It really did make me laugh. I also really am the mom you wrote about. I still am like that although my hair is a darker blonde than it ever has been.
        And I love being like that. Have a good Tuesday.

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