Job Description – The Writer #Writing #AmWriting

Here is my take on a job description for a writer.

Vacancy – Writer

Writer needed to join the millions of other writers around the world.

About The Role

Hours: Can vary each week and are dependent upon number of new ideas for stories, writing confidence levels, social media activity, reading binges and coffee consumption.

Location: Home based, although access to a coffee shop and a book shop will be required.

Key Duties / Responsibilities:

  • Will need to be able to talk to characters in their head a lot.
  • Will need to get carried away with their plot or characters.
  • Will need to be able to write stuff that doesn’t make sense on paper but does in their head.
  • Will need the capacity to stare into space a lot.
  • Will need to be able to give their own work savage criticism and to accept savage criticism from others.
  • Will need to be able to daydream a lot about writing a best seller.
  • Will need to be able to operate across all forms of social media.
  • Will be able to take regular naps. Sleeping on the job is vital.
  • Will need to read a lot.
  • Imaginative use of reasons for not doing any writing is vital.
  • Imaginative use of plots, characters and long words will be needed.
  • Will need to possess a good working understanding of Amazon Book Chart, Reviews and Rankings.
About You
  • You will have known that you are different  to others for many years.
  • You will have a degree in Creative Thoughts and be regarded as a very creative person by family and close friends.
  • You will get strong urges to write every now and then. You will also get strong urges not to write.
  • You will be able to cry over the quality of your writing at a moment’s notice.
  • You will possess a strong desire to reach out to other creative souls on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest.
  • You will enjoy working on your own.
  • You will be able to accept brutal feedback on your work from others with a gracious smile.
  • You will be highly experienced in listening to the conversations of strangers.
  • You will love a bit of drama.
  • Non-writers will perceive you as ‘weird’ and ‘a bit odd’ but you won’t care.
  • You will have an addiction to purchasing notebooks.
  • You will love all forms of literary pain – editing, rewriting and grammar rules.
  • You will love spotting typos.
Package

Salary: It can vary. Most of us do it for free – sigh!

Perks:

  • People will refer to you as the ‘next J.K.Rowling’ a lot.
  • You can hang around in coffee shops for hours under the pretence of being a ‘writer’.
  • You can loiter around book shops sniffing paper backs and pointing out to strangers where your future book will go on the shelf.
  • You can start a writing blog and make out you are a fancy writer.
  • You can use the following hashtags in your tweets #amwriting #writers and #bestsellingauthor.
  • You can spend all day on social media and not feel guilty as you are a writer.

We look forward to hearing from you!

Posted by

I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

43 thoughts on “Job Description – The Writer #Writing #AmWriting

      1. I can multi task, a love interest, a theft, maniacal mayhem and a poison pen writer all at the same time! Oh , *sulk* thats my characters not me.
        Word juggling was that in the job description?

      1. Oh i thought this was the paid kind…and then i laughed and laughed, oh and then i cried

  1. Sold! With a job description like that, what’s not to love? Sign me up, I seem to fit the criteria pretty well (certainly the loving a drama, eavesdropping on conversations, and people watching bit, not to mention hanging around coffee shops). Haven’t actually written anything yet, apart from my blog though! 🙂

  2. What is it about notebooks that always gets us? I type nearly everything but still think I need a new notebook everytime I see one.

  3. Do you know the Thomas Mann quote “A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.”? I have that on my work room wall!

  4. Oh this made me chuckle! 🙂 Big yes to: staring off into space, notebook addiction, reading (!!), and of course people watching. (Also an addiction for me, ha ha.) Happy weekend!

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