3.25 P.M. I am busy checking my phone.
There are no new texts from Dan, since he text me three times this morning – to say that he missed me.
My mood is sinking. I need to see his smiley face so I am going to take a peek at his Facebook page.
After sighing loudly at his gorgeous face, I catch sight of something on his Facebook timeline. Today he has been tagged in on a photo. He’s sat next to a pretty woman with glasses and long dark hair.
She must be a friend of his. I can’t stop thinking about how smart and sophisticated she looks.
Wow – Dan is handsome, solvent and has beautiful friends. What is he doing with me?
All hell has broken loose on the desk opposite me. Martin has lost his bottle of correction fluid.
“Roxy I think someone has stolen my Tippex!” announces Martin. “I am going to have to inform facilities’.
“No one uses Tippex anymore” I mumble, still staring at Dan’s female friend on my phone screen.
“I still find it a valuable piece of office equipment” says Martin, wiping a layer of sweat from his brow and rising from his chair.
“Is there anything wrong Martin” asks a familiar voice. I look and see that it is Marcus, the senior manager and the one who I snogged over a photocopier at a Christmas party.
He looks at and holds my gaze for a little longer than necesscary. I can feel my cheeks heating up. Breaking his stare I shove my phone in my bag and start typing something random onto my computer, to give the impression that I am super busy.
“I can’t find my correction fluid” moans Martin.
“Do you still use that stuff?” asks Marcus, glancing at Martin and then looking at me again. I give him a weak smile and curse the inventions of office Christmas parties and photocopying machines.
“Its useful for when I spot mistakes on photocopies” says Martin.
The word ‘photocopies’ has made me let out an inner groan. I am rising from my chair as I need a coffee.
Marcus gives me an awkward look as I hurry away.
3.28 P.M. I am stood at the coffee machine and recalling the events of the weekend; Dan turning up unexpectedly, the kids negotiating with me via Shaz and the moment in the Indian restaurant when Dan confessed to me that he already knew I had kids.
Apparently he discovered I had kids in Greece but kept quiet. He thought my white lie and fabricated story about me being the kid’s Aunty was highly amusing.
I didn’t think I talked in my sleep and held imaginary conversations with each of my three children. Dan said the ones with Matilda were the most interesting. Now I know – I’m worried he has learnt some other stuff about me.
Oooh there is my friend Helen from Purchasing. She’s clutching her Princess mug and heading towards me at the coffee machine.
“Hi Helen” I say.
“Nice holiday in Greece?” asks Helen, giving me a sly smile. “I saw the pics on Facebook!”
“So are you going to be seeing Mr Handsome again?” she asks, ordering a tea from the machine.
I nod. “Dan and I are having a long distance relationship, he lives in Manchester”
Helen’s smile disappears. “Are you ok with that?” she asks.
I sip my machine generated coffee and nod. “Helen I am totally chilled with it and I trust him”.
Helen looks at me with serious eyes. “I hope you are Facebook stalking him” she says.
I shake my head. “I don’t do that Helen. I only look at his profile pic when I feel sad. Just seeing his photo brightens my day”.
Helen gives me a puzzled look.
“Remember my experience with the blonde surfer” she says, stroking the rim of her mug. “We were in a long distance relationship too but he was still seeing her who shall not be named back at home, on the weekends he didn’t see me”.
I nod my head recalling how Helen was so upset after she broke up with the blonde surfer she had to take a week off sick.
“There were clues on Facebook Roxy. If only I had seen those selfies of them together in half zipped up wetsuits!” she says shaking her head.
“It must have been awful” I say, placing a reassuring hand on Helen’s shoulder.
Helen sips her drink and proceeds to tell me what happened to her after the relationship with the blonde surfer ended.
“I put on a stone due to comfort eating, I cried myself to sleep for three months, I couldn’t face swimming at my local pool for six months because the wave machine brought back painful water based memories of him, and I chopped off my long hair as he said it was the thing he loved about me and I wanted revenge. Roxy I am now regretting this pixie cut.” says Helen, pointing to her tufty cut.
Even though its been months since this thing happened Helen’s hair has sadly struggled to regrow,
“To top it off I have an expensive wetsuit at home which I can’t get into or sell on Ebay!” Helen croaks.
“You poor thing!” I say, giving her a hug.
“Check his Facebook Roxy…every day!” says Helen.
“But I am not like that!” I say, shaking my head.
“Roxy I can’t even watch surfing films!” screeches Helen. “You know how much I adored ‘Point Break’ with Keanu Reeves!”
I nod recalling Helen’s obsession with surfing films and surfers.
When she got with this blonde surfer Helen got really carried away and started using surfing language in business meetings. A low point for her was when she started talking about ‘Wax jobs’ and ‘Foamies’ in a project meeting. I think everyone at work is relieved that their relationship has ended.
3.45 P.M. I have returned to my desk with the Facebook photo of Dan with attractive long-haired woman (who wore glasses) on my mind.
I am starting to wonder whether Dan is like the blonde surfer?
6.14 P.M. Sat at dinner table with the kids.
I have served an extra plate of food for Malcolm, Toby’s imaginary friend.
“Mam’ says Toby. “Malcolm doesn’t like the way you cook carrots!”
“Tough!” I reply. Tonight I am not in the mood for the fussy eating habits of imaginary friends. I am mentally wrestling with the idea that Dan could be like the two timing blonde surfer.
7. 21 P.M. I have decided to confide in Matilda about Dan’s Facebook photo and Helen’s disastrous long distance relationship.
“Mam my long distance boyfriend found out that I was cheating on him via Instagram’ announces Matilda.
“What long distance boyfriend?” I ask, scratching my head and trying to remember someone Matilda has dated who didn’t live in the surrounding area.
“I can’t talk about it Mam, too painful” says Matilda, turning to look at the TV with wet eyes.
“Hang on have you cheated on someone Matilda?” I ask.
“Mam leave it!” she urges. “It was a tough episode of my life and I don’t want to discuss it!”
“When was this?” I screech whilst panicking over my limited knowledge about my daughter’s love life.
“I was a bit silly posting those pics of Instagram and covering them in heart emojis. I thought Rupert wouldn’t check Instagram” she mumbles.
“Who the hell is Rupert?” I shout.
“He lived in Scotland” admits Matilda.
“But you have never been to Scotland?” I say, trying to remain calm.
Matilda avoids my glare and flicks her eyes to the floor. “I have been to Scotland. Dad organised it one weekend when I was supposed to be with him”
“WHAT?” I shout.
“I had to go see Rupert Mam, we were so in love!” she says.
“But…your Dad never told me” I say.
Matilda grins. “He obeys my orders”
8.10 p.m. I am lying on my sofa with a cold flannel over my forehead and loud whale music filling the room. The conversation with Matilda sent me over the mental edge. She’s gone upstairs to make her latest You Tube video titled ‘How to get what you want from one of your separated parents!’
My phone has just vibrated. Its a text from Dan. He is going out with some friends tonight and will call me later.
Tell myself that he is not like the blonde surfer.
Tell myself not to listen to Helen anymore.
9. 45 P.M. Obviously I have not been sat stalking his Facebook page or anything but there is a new photo of Dan with some friends at a restaurant. The pretty woman with glasses is sat next to him.
I am assuming the worst.
Matilda appears, just as I start to cry.
“Mam I am glad you and this Dan have run into problems” she says, giving me a hug.
“Why?” I ask, lifting my tear stained head from her shoulder.
“His sons are really FIT and I would struggle at family events” she announces.
“How do you know he has two sons?” I ask, staring at her. I have only given the kids limited info on Dan.
She laughs before saying “That’s the power of Facebook stalking Mam – you should try it sometime!”