The Arrival – Luke’s Story.
I have to see her face again. One glimpse of her, that’s all I need.
I have to reassure myself that the decision I made a year ago was the right one.
The past twelve months have been agony. I need to put an end to this suffering and prove to myself that I don’t have any feelings for my ex-girlfriend Lauren.
The fact that I devote many hours to thinking about her doesn’t mean anything. My mind is simply playing games. It does this a lot. I see her face in crowds, on buses and some days I am in my car and all of a sudden I find myself driving towards our old flat.
Things happen for a reason I tell myself. Lauren and I were over long before my affair with Phoebe began. There were too many arguments, forced silences and tears between Lauren and I. We were constantly at each other’s throats. Our relationship was dying.
Phoebe was a welcomed distraction from the anguish and pain. She took me away from the misery, whilst I waited for Lauren to end our relationship. Back then I didn’t have the guts to tell Lauren that it was over. In the end my poor affair planning let me down and Lauren caught Phoebe and I together.
I should be thanking Phoebe for the affair. As my friend Dale says, Phoebe did Lauren and I a favour. She released us from our own form of relationship hell.
Instead I find myself disliking Phoebe more each day. After a while the dislike morphs into hate and then I turn on myself. Why did I cheat on my girlfriend?
Lauren moved on with her life. After we broke up she packed her things and took a PR job in California. I was left to follow her new life on Facebook. She never defriended me. I believe she did this on purpose. Seeing photos of her laughing at the camera with sun kissed blonde hair, golden arms and a goofy happy smile has been the best form of revenge.
I am sure when I see Lauren again, in the flesh, I will know that I made the right decision. Photos can be edited and enhanced.
When she is standing in front of me, here at the airport, I will look at her and feel nothing. There will be no army of butterflies in my chest and my heart will not start to race. Instead I will be reminded of all the arguments and torment that we endured as our relationship crumbled away.
After confirming that I have no more feelings for Lauren I plan to head off into London and meet up with the boys from work. It will be good to celebrate. I can move forward with my life and maybe start dating again.
Phoebe and I broke up shortly after Lauren left for America. I tried desperately to make it work but Lauren was always on my mind. I ended up taking Phoebe for lunch at Lauren’s favourite café, buying her a drink at Lauren’s favourite wine bar and I even found myself kissing Phoebe the way Lauren liked me to kiss her. The affair lost its sparkle. I came clean and told Phoebe that I wanted to be alone.
Lauren’s plane has landed. I stuff my hands into my pockets and shift my weight from foot to foot.
I stare at her plane on the arrivals board. She’s near. After all this time we are in the same airport. The arrivals board goes blurry and I wipe my eyes.
Lauren doesn’t know I am here. Dale told me she was coming home today and I begged him to tell me her flight details.
Everything will be ok. One glimpse and it will be over. I can head for my speeding train to London and put the past behind me.
Time starts to slow down as I wait for her to appear. Minutes start to feel like hours. My coffee goes cold and my phone turns itself onto low power mode.
I see her. She is on the escalator. Her long blonde hair is nestled on her shoulders. She is still wearing the camel coat that I bought her last year and there is a blue scarf tied neatly around her neck.
She notices me. My body starts to tremble uncontrollably. Butterflies escape and swarm into my chest. All the saliva in my mouth evaporates and my heart starts to race.
Reality hits me like a fist to the guts. I can’t breathe.
I made the wrong decision.
As I said, all I needed was one glimpse.
Kristen from ‘Pursuit of An Adventure’ has written the account from Lauren’s perspective. We thought it would be fun to write something from two point of views. If you want to read her account please click here.
This was part of the Blog Battle contest run by Rachael Ritchey. If you want to join this marvellous contest please click here.
The word this week was: Arrival.
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/14936303@N00/448256023“>Layover Daydream 2 of 4</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com“>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/“>(license)</a>