If A Book Purchase Was Written in a Romantic Fiction Style #writer #comedy #bookaddict


I can see you in the bookshop. You look so good on that shelf. I am drawn to you. It’s like there is a magnetic force at play.

My heart rate has quickened and I am now pushing shoppers aside to get to you.

I am standing in front of your shelf. Excuse my breathlessness and flushed cheeks, I get like this sometimes when buying highly recommended new books.

Everyone online is talking about you. They are raving about how good you make them feel. Some say you gave them a sleepless night and some say they are struggling to return to their day to day lives.

They say I should order you online but I don’t want to. I need you in paperback so I can hold you close to my chest.

I want you.

My nostrils have gone wild. You smell absolutely divine.

Up close the artwork on your cover is breathtaking. I do apologise I can’t help but stroke your book spine whilst making soft cooing noises. Your pages feel so good fanned against my cheek.

Do you mind if I take a quick peek at your opening chapter?  I promise I will be gentle and my hands are warm.

Oh my goodness – I didn’t think you would be this good!  Wow the earth has just moved for me in the Fiction section. Hang on let me just take a moment to read a bit more of you. I am hooked.

Its time we got out of this bookshop and back to my place. I am just clearing my diary for you. We have all night.

You are a little expensive but I don’t mind paying for a good literary time.

Before we go, I just want to let you know that I cannot fully commit to you. There are others on the go. You see I like to play the reading field. Being tied down to one book stifles me.

Shall we go? I have a feeling this reading fling of ours will be casual but intense.


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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

19 thoughts on “If A Book Purchase Was Written in a Romantic Fiction Style #writer #comedy #bookaddict

  1. I can see now the book has been unfaithful. He said I was the only one. We shared so many secrets on those cold dark nights together. And this is how I find out! It’s fine, though. I’ve been cheating on him with his sequel.

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