The Lonely Potato Head #Blog Battle #comedy #flashfiction

Marvin, the potato head, smiled at the ping sound from his Twitter account. 

Cyril the Evil Clown was right, female potato heads loved his tweets about being a lonely potato head looking for love. 

His Twitter account was awash with re-tweets and likes. His new dating plan was starting to take shape.

Female potato heads wanted to reach out to him and shower him with #poorpotatohead #staystrongpotatohead  #hotpotatohead hashtags. 

He was now a couple of tweets away from securing a date.

In his (plastic) eyes his ex-girlfriend Barbie was now history.  According to Cyril the Evil Clown she was sat tearfully watching all his tweets getting re-tweeted, quoted and liked.

Cyril the Evil Clown was right as Barbie would soon regret ending their relationship. 

He was so grateful for Cyril the Evil Clown’s friendship and guidance during this testing time. It had been like a special gift to him.

All the other toys in the toy box warned him about Cyril the Evil Clown. They couldn’t give him any specific details but they said Cyril was ‘not to be trusted’ and ‘there was something not right about him’.

Marvin believed the toy world had got Cyril the Evil Clown all wrong. Just because a toy is given the name ‘Evil Clown’ it doesn’t mean they are evil.

The ping of Marvin’s Twitter notification woke Derek, the Furry Toy, from his afternoon nap.

This was the fifth time in the space of an hour that he had been interrupted and he could feel irritation prickling his furry bits.

Derek prided himself on being able to sleep in an upright position, whilst leaning against the computer monitor. The other toys were forced to go share beds in the doll’s house. He, however, could happily doze wherever he wanted.

The only issue was when annoying potato heads decided to turn up the volume on the computer. He opened one of his large eyes and groaned to himself.

‘What are you doing Marvin?’ muttered Derek through gritted teeth.

‘I am reaching out to lonely female potato heads on Twitter’ sighed Marvin as another ping filled the air. ‘I am a lonely male potato head looking for love!’

‘Are you really lonely Marvin?’ queried Derek. His toy friend was a hit with the females in the toy box. Marvin had spent the best part of a month dating Barbie, the doll all the male toys were desperate to date. How could a popular potato head like Marvin be lonely he wondered?

‘Oh I am Derek, Cyril the Evil Clown reckons I have been lonely ever since Barbie dumped me’ said Marvin. ‘Cyril the Evil Clown says its time I cured my loneliness and reached out to someone new!’

‘Cyril the Evil Clown told you this?’ queried Derek.

‘Yes’ said Marvin. ‘I took his advice and I am getting a lot of interest on Twitter. I never knew there were so many lonely female potato heads out there’.

‘So you’re listening to Cyril the Evil Clown a lot then?’ asked Derek.

‘Oh yea!’ gushed Marvin. ‘He’s like my life mentor. Do you know he sensed Barbie was going to finish with me and advised me not to turn up to any of her date nights. He also told me to rearrange my potato face features because it would annoy her. That evil clown gave me great dating advice’.

Derek let out a sigh. ‘I bet he did’ he said quietly.

Marvin turned away from the screen to face Derek. ‘What do you mean by that?’ he asked.

‘Nothing. I didn’t mean anything. I am sure Cyril the Evil Clown is being ………’ said Derek pausing.

‘Supportive towards you’ said Derek quickly. ‘Now do you mind turning down the noise on the computer as I am trying to sleep.’

‘Cyril says I should have the volume turned up as the sound of other female potato heads tweeting my stuff will be heard by Barbie and more importantly make me feel wanted and special’ explained Marvin.

‘You can feel wanted and special just by seeing the Twitter notifications come up on the screen Marvin, no need for sound’ said Derek.

‘Cyril the Evil Clown said I must and I have to listen to him’ muttered Marvin.

‘Oh for goodness sake Marvin, if Cyril the Evil Clown told you to stick your potato head in an oven – would you?’ screeched Derek.

‘Cyril told me that Barbie finishing with me was the best thing that could have happened to me’ said Marvin grinning as another Twitter ping filled the air.

‘Why did Barbie finish with you Marvin?’ asked Derek.

‘She came up with some ridiculous nonsense about me being easily led’ sighed Marvin.

 

This was my entry to this week’s blog battle contest. These fierce contests are run by Rachael Ritchey

If you want to join us please click here.
The genre was comedy.
The word was gift

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/7685019@N04/2261974628″>It’s tough being evolved</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

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