How To Survive Writer Friends Having Some Success #AmWriting #Writers


As I have said before on this blog, writer friends are special human beings.

They are great for moral support, sharing of ideas, having a creative giggle with and understanding your creative side.

So, when your writer friend emails you or tweets about their latest literary success it can feel like a kick in the literary guts.

Suddenly you feel like you are being left behind and before you know it your literary green-eyed monster has come out to play.

You don’t want to read anymore about how fantastic your writer friend is feeling right now.

All you want to do is sit in a corner, kick the litter bin, have a large gin & tonic and weep!

Cue your favourite literary green-eyed monster phrases:

‘Its so unfair their book is doing well and mine is still unfinished?’

‘I don’t have any literary luck!’

‘I can’t believe a literary agent is interested in her – what about me?’

‘I think I might give up and quit!’

‘Why is everyone around me publishing books? It’s so unfair!’

Here some tips on how to stay positive about your own literary journey during this emotional time:

  1. Remind yourself that your successful writing friends will help you in the future. They will happily write you book reviews, tweet your book campaign, blog about you and give you lots of support. You are a team. You help them and they help you. Congratulate them on their achievement.
  2. Think about their writing struggles, years of rejections, long hours of writing graft and their painful episodes of writing block. Yes they are enjoying success but you have to admit they have worked their bloody socks off to get to this stage. Admire them and learn from them!
  3. Being famous / a celeb has its downsides. It won’t be all fancy houses, big cars and red carpets – sigh!
  4. Celebrate your own strengths and successes. You need to do this useful exercise. It will help.
  5. Ask yourself what is fuelling the jealousy. Is there anything you can do to move forward with your own journey? I get envious of writers who finish their books and publish them. This is because I have not reached this stage yet. I am plagued with writing confidence issues. Until I sort out my issues and get a book published I will be the little green-eyed blonde monster!  Understanding why you are feeling envious is half the battle to surviving it!
  6. Channel your negative energy into something positive. When I get envious of a friend’s book launch or read news that they have finished writing another book, I hit my own writing hard. I channel my negative energy into doing something positive.
  7. There is room in the literary market for all of us.
  8. Tell yourself the good literary times are just around the corner.
  9. Have a break from social media. Sometimes switching off the literary world is the best form of therapy for envy.  Concentrate on your own writing for a bit and let your writer friend tweet it out of their system.

Be happy for them, I know it’s hard sometimes but writer friends are very special….even if they tweet a lot about their eye watering book deal.


Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

81 thoughts on “How To Survive Writer Friends Having Some Success #AmWriting #Writers

  1. This is a great post! I love your advice about how to deal with the jealousy that can result from other writers having success. I think that the best writers help and learn from those that are a little bit further down the road. Great job!

  2. Sorry! Having IPad issues 😦 What I was trying to say was that I think number 7 is especially important to remember. And visits from the green eyed monster are normal – it’s what you do with it that make the difference. Channelling it into getting on with your own writing is a good use of the energy 🙂

  3. Is it weird that when I got to this point: “Why is everyone around me publishing books? It’s so unfair!'” that I thought to myself, “This is totally like when all your friends are getting pregnant around you….or married….” It’s totally the same thing. Am I right? Okay, our non-writer friends might not understand the correlation…and some men, even if they write, might not quite follow, but sheesh. It’s quite reminiscent. I have a cousin who hates when I do anything before her (talk about green-eyed) and is sure to gloat if she does it first…she’s older, too, so I just let her have her fun. 😛 Publishing doesn’t always equal success or confidence, I have noticed. There are still green-eyed monsters lurking about in the subconscious or even them.

      1. Too true! Now, the question becomes do we let the mean greeny rule or do we show ‘im who’s boss? 🙂 I think you’re amazing, so observant, creative, and dedicated. I’m soooo thankful to know you IBFF

      2. And if I’m being completely honest, I fear my own green-eyed monster will overtake me and possibly do away with me the moment you announce your book is published. I know it’s coming. *sigh* 😉 (and you also know I’m your biggest fan. Can’t wait for the day!)

      3. and by that I mean, you help me keep it all in perspective. But I’m afraid that since it’s after 1:30 in the morning I’ll make less and less sense with each passing minute. 🙂

      1. Of course! You know you should get an award for that comment! We need a blogging comment award! As Allie P says it would motivate people to comment

      2. We need to encourage readers to read our blogs and comment. This award could be for an amusing comment or an inspirational one. Comments can turn someone’s day around!

  4. I love 7 so much.

    Can you teach me a little about the rules on using a picture you saved on Pinterest or Instagram or solely searched for your blog? What are the rules? And if I forgot how I happened to stumble across a certain picture, what should one do?

    1. My skills are pretty basic lol! I use Photopin for my images. It’s where you can use images but you have to attribute where they came from. Each picture on there comes with a label which you copy and paste at bottom of post. The important thing is to attribute your photos. I am paranoid about images / photos so I always say to guest bloggers that I will use my own from Photopin. Good luck 🙂

  5. Speaking as someone who is getting published in September, I cannot help but feel I’m betraying my friends who are not YET published. But it should perhaps be more about seeing that people DO get published, and how inspiring that is. It’s been a LONGGG time coming, although someone once said that overnight success took 10 years – In case you want to read my blog on it, it’s here:

    understandable if you’d rather not

  6. Hey Lucy, I’ve been reading your posts but can’t reply easily. I’m living in Mexico at the moment so my internet is ridiculously slow and unreliable. I can’t even get a blog post up to save my life. 😦 Anyway, I’ve been reading and making funny comments in my head and soaking up the sun! Keep writing, Tracey

    Tracey Delaplain, MD http://WWW.WhatsForDinnerDoc.Com

    For in the end we will conserve only what we love. We love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught. Baba Dioum


  7. I was going to simply agree with number 1 with the caveat that with their success I also expect full use of their eventual beach house or ski chalet, but then TanGental had to go and one-up me.

      1. Sigh. I suppose he earned it too. Grumble, grumble.

        Actually I do wish there were comment awards. Perhaps then more people would actually write more of them.

  8. I rarely feel like that. I’m not in competition. Although I have found myself major eye rolling when I see that same person brag EVERYWHERE! I am glad when one of my friends finds and agent or publishes a book because in that moment, it all seems possible

  9. The flip side of your previous post with tips on when a friend gives up their dream to be a writer. Both sides can be difficult. I think it’s natural to be jealous of others when they achieve the success we push for. And your tips are helpful. It’s good to remember that we’re all on different journeys, with different victories and setbacks. Success comes from many factors, and each time I read about someone successful, they didn’t get that way overnight. It came from persistence and lots of stumblings first.

  10. Been there and felt like that — especially if my nerves were raw from yet another rejection. That’s one of the reasons I decided to take responsibility for my destiny and go indie. Now I haven’t time to suffer fits of green-eyed jealousy, as I’m too busy being my own literary agent, publisher, and sales person, while getting my second book ready. Just love the challenge 🙂

  11. Unfortunately, I’ve been there. However, #1 and #6 are great reminders. One cannot always help it when the green-eyed monster shows up but one can control it and remember to stay positive.
    Thank you for sharing. What an encouraging list 🙂

  12. “Celebrate your own strengths and successes.” Fab advice, BBF, I will try to do that.
    My green-eyed monster might come out once you become the best selling author *sigh*. I know it will happen soon. 🙂

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