Being a writer can spoil so many things…
- Reading a book for pleasure. A true writer cannot stop themselves from dissecting a book in their mind whilst reading. After a few brief moments of literary joy you will start assessing the effectiveness of the opening chapter, the strength of the plot, the appeal of the characters, the power of the plot twists and the quality of the ending. As well as this you will be in comparison mode with your own work. Being a writer can spoil reading books as you can’t switch off that literary critic part of your brain and simply enjoy a book.
- Using social media for fun. Once you become a writer you stop using social media for fun. You will struggle to tweet non-writing related stuff, your obsession with tweet stats will take over your brain and no matter how hard you try you won’t be able to stop yourself from pinning inspirational writing related quotes. Being a writer spoils social media pleasure!
- Your neat handwriting. Once you become a writer you learn to scribble at high-speed – in case your brain forgets the golden idea for a book which has ‘bestseller’ all over it! You can kiss goodbye to the neat handwriting from your school days and say hello to ‘what the hell did I write?’ Being a writer can spoil your beautiful handwriting.
- Romantic moments. Once you become a writer you start to record certain moments in your head ready for play back on the page. As your loved one kisses you your writer mind will leap into action and say stuff like ‘has he just brushed his lips against mine?’ and ‘did his hand just caress my thigh?’ Being a writer can spoil these intimate moments – sigh!
- Reading customer book reviews. Once you become a writer you will become obsessed with reading customer book reviews and star ratings. You will say stuff like ‘I hope they don’t say that about my book’ and ‘I do hope they write things like that about my book!’ Being a writer can spoil reading book reviews for fun.
- The shape of your bottom. In view of the amount of time you will spend sat on your bottom typing or writing you can wave goodbye to your small pert backside! It’s amazing how your rear end flattens and spreads across a chair after a couple of months of serious writing. It will look like a huge squidgy pie in no time at all. Being a writer can spoil your body shape (unless you do some serious clenching whilst you type) sigh!
- Your social life. You will become a hermit if you don’t force yourself to be sociable. Being a writer means you start to spend a fair amount with the imaginary folk in your head. At times this can be more pleasurable than hanging out with real life folk so it will be hard to break this habit. Being a writer can spoil your social life.
- The fun of discussing book charts or book bestseller lists. Once you become a serious writer there is no fun in this at all! It will just bring on groans, loud sighs and the inevitable ‘I could write better’ comment. This is quickly followed by you doing a mental comparison of your own draft agsinst the work of authors at the top of the charts. Optimism turns to pessimism in the blink of a writer’s eye. You then end up with head in hands wallowing in your writer gloom. No fun for anyone in the conversation.
This post was quite enjoyable to write.
Let me know any other activities you think being a writer spoils.
I would just like to say that I love being a writer – it is ace! #lovebeingawriter
photo credit: Adobe.