If an Emotional Support Helpline Existed for Writers #writers #writerslife

 

 

if-an-emotional-support-helpline-for-writers-existed

Photo: UpSplash.

Can you imagine an emotional support helpline existing for writers?

We all know that writing can bring on a host of emotions.

Well, this unique helpline would mean that you could phone a number and talk through your writing problem, which has made you….a little bit emotional.

I have whipped up some scenarios which show the The Writer’s Emotional Support Helpline helping a writer in their hour of need:

Call 1

Helpline counsellor: ‘Hello Writer’s Emotional Support Helpline, how can I help you writer?’

Writer: Sob. Wail. Sniff. Loud sobbing.

Helpline Counsellor: ‘OK I need to ask you – is your draft manuscript in a safe place? Can you confirm your draft is not in any danger?’

Writer: ‘I hate it!’ (growl). ‘My finger is touching the delete button!’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘OK I need you to walk away from your draft manuscript or put it in a safe place. What is the problem writer?’

Writer: ‘I have a reoccurring grammar issue, my opening line sucks and I have been told my plot is sagging!’ (Loud sobbing)

Helpline Counsellor: ‘That must be tough for you writer’

Writer: ‘It is so tough. No one understands what it’s like to spend MONTHS writing something that sags and if I see that grammar issue one more time in my work I am going to….’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘It’s probably not as bad as you think writer!’

Writer: ‘It’s very bad and my draft must pay!’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘Don’t do something you might later regret writer’

Writer: ‘I want to delete it! I hate it! I hate it!’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘Shall we talk through that grammar issue and your sagging plot writer?’

Three hours later…

Helpline Counsellor: ‘Are you feeling better now writer?’

Writer: ‘Yes….oh my goodness…thank you so much for saving my draft manuscript’s life!’


Call 2

Helpline Counsellor: Β ‘Hello Writer’s Emotional Support Helpline, how can I help you writer?’

Writer: Loud exhale.

Helpline Counsellor: Β ‘OK I need to ask you – is your draft manuscript in a safe place? Can you confirm your draft is not in any danger?’

Writer: ‘Yes it’s quite safe. This is about my successful writing friend.’ (second loud exhale)

Helpline Counsellor: ‘What’s the problem writer?’

Writer: ‘She has just got an amazing publishing deal. I have been having some dark thoughts about her whilst tweeting congratulations!’

Helpline Counsellor:Β ‘I take it writer that you…’

Writer: ‘Haven’t got a publishing deal. No, I am still very much unpublished!’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘That must be difficult’

Writer: ‘I’m not in a great place now!’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘Is your successful writer friend safe writer?’

Writer: ‘If she refrains from tweeting about how wonderful her life is right now…then yes!’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘How dark are your thoughts writer?’

Writer: Sniff. Sigh. ‘I write gothic horror!’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘Do you want to talk through those dark thoughts?’

Three hours later…..

Writer: ‘Thanks so much – I really needed that! As you say snazzy publishing contracts are so overrated!’


Call 3

Helpline Counsellor: ‘Hello Writer’s Emotional Support Helpline, how can I help you writer?’

Writer: Shriek. Excited scream. Sounds of furniture crashing.

Helpline Counsellor: ‘Writer – are you there?’

Writer: ‘Sorry – I had to do a celebratory forward roll in my sitting room. Oops my old antique dresser didn’t like my forward roll finish…..I must keep my legs together more…hmmm’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘How can I help you writer?’

Writer: ‘I have just written an amazing plot twist’ (Squeal!) I need to tell someone about it. (Squeal!) My loved one won’t turn the sport off on TV to listen to me!’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘That is such a shame. Won’t they put the sport on mute whilst they listen to you writer?’

Writer: ‘They say I go on a bit…’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘Do they normally take an interest in your writing?’

Writer: (Shriek of laughter). ‘Not if he can help it!’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘Have you tried involving him in your writing?’

Writer: ‘He appears in one of my books and…..I can’t tell you what happens to him as you might change your opinion of me!’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘At least you have your plot twists writer!’

Writer: ‘I just want someone to talk to, someone who appreciates my literary magic!’

Helpline Counsellor: ‘Shall we talk about your plot twist?’

Four hours later…

Writer: ‘Thank you so much for listening. It’s great to know there is someone out there who appreciates a good plot twist!’

Doesn’t this helpline sound amazing? Loud sigh!

I am just going to pretend that a phone line like this exists…

Have a great day!

 

 

 

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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

81 thoughts on “If an Emotional Support Helpline Existed for Writers #writers #writerslife

  1. Meanwhile, the phone bills around the globe reach their peaks… πŸ˜‰

    Love this post! Being a writer myself, I think this would be a wonderful addition to the writing community. I have encountered so many writerly problems that my friends/ family just wouldn’t understand…

  2. Great idea. Loved this post! Especially: “I just want someone to talk to, someone who appreciates my literary magic!” πŸ™‚

    1. Aw, thanks, Christine. I feel the same. Hate to think what size the phone bill would be if we called each other! πŸ™‚

  3. There is a case to be made for an emotional support line for the introverted writers. I, however, spent twenty years on the lines with writers who were performance artists, and, trust me, they needed no support line. By the time they were through supporting themselves it was a bloodbath.

  4. Your post made me realize how much I actually need this kind of helpline 😭😭
    I deleted over 60 drafts that I wrote over last.. 10 years. So now I’m clinging to that one story that I desperately need to finish, so in hopes of sucess (to actually finish it) I joined Wattpad…. So far it’s not exactly helping me…

    1. Hmmmmm Wattpad didn’t help me. I know the feeling. I do wish there was a helpline – it would make a lot of money out of me. Thx for dropping by and good luck! Hope to see you again sometime in these blonde parts of town πŸ™‹πŸΌ

    1. Lol! There are a lot of writers wanting someone to talk to during writer’s block! I am suffering at the moment and I keep looking longingly at the phone πŸ™‚

      1. I think, in one way or another, I could all the time! It would save me talking to myself in excitement, or staring at a wall feeling hopeless. πŸ™‚

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