24 Things a Writer Might Say After Writing The Death of Their Fictional Character #writers #writerslife

What does a writer say after they have written the death of a fictional character?

  1. ‘Ooops! – Didn’t mean to kill you!’
  2. ‘I think you died too quickly. Your death only lasted three paragraphs. Readers want character deaths that go on for pages and pages!’
  3. ‘I quite enjoyed writing that….sorry!’
  4. ‘This is what happens when you annoy me characters!’
  5. ‘Dull character and a dull death – sigh!’
  6. ‘Oh my goodness this is so upsetting’ (*writer wipes away tears and blows nose loudly*)
  7. ‘Don’t worry about [enter character’s love interest] as I have someone much better waiting in the wings to replace you!’
  8. ‘I wonder how long it will take for your body to decompose?’
  9. ‘My life will never be the same again without you’ (*writer’s head placed on keyboard and loud sobbing fills the air*)
  10. ‘Killing you felt like the right thing to do. Do you know what I mean?’
  11. ‘You are very lucky I didn’t finish you off in the second chapter, my goodness I came close! But you made it through to chapter eight so be grateful!’
  12. ‘We will meet again my fictional friend!’
  13. ‘I know you didn’t expect it : blame George RR Martin’ (Thx TanGental)
  14. ‘I’m trying a zombie apocalypse next so you’ll be back’ (Thx TanGental)
  15. ‘Its about a serial killer so what did you expect?’ (Thx Tangental)
  16. ‘Here’s looking at you kid.We’ll always have Chapter 2’ (Thx to Baub Taub)
  17. ‘I’m sorry you had to die, you were a great character but the plot is an evil master!’ (Thx Simon F)
  18. ‘Finally! Got rid of you!’ (Thx Ritu)
  19. ‘So sorry, I didn’t want to lose you, but I had to let you slip away… For the good of the story…. The STORY, you know !’ (Thx Ritu)
  20. “What a has been! Bye, bye.” (Thx Tess)
  21. “Bon voyage!” (Thx Maddie)
  22.  “Now get in that grave. Stay, stay. Psst. Stay! Don’t make me come down there!” (Thx ColdhandBoyack)
  23. “See what you’ve done now? Turned me into a murderer” (Thx to M.L. Kappa)
  24. “I created you I have the right to kill you if it suits the plot. The mourning scene wouldn’t be any good if you were still alive. So why am I sobbing so hard?” (Thx Pauline)

As with all my posts I like a bit of interaction. So please let me know what you would say in the situation and I will add / link (what an incentive – sigh!)


photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/76459165@N00/23921138204″>Nicole</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;



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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

38 thoughts on “24 Things a Writer Might Say After Writing The Death of Their Fictional Character #writers #writerslife

  1. I haven’t really written about the death of a character but I may say
    “Finally! Got rid of you!”
    “So sorry, I didn’t want to lose you, but I had to let you slip away… For the good of the story…. The STORY, you know !”

  2. I like these, especially the ‘oops’ one.
    How about: I’m sorry you had to die, you we’re a great character but the plot is an evil master

      1. You liked it? Cool!
        I have stories in my head and some of the characters… poor them is all I can say. It’s a bit tragic.

  3. I know you didn’t expect it : blame George RR Martin
    I’m trying a zombie apocalypse next so you’ll be back
    Its about a serial killer so what did you expect?

  4. “This tome ain’t big enough for the two of us!”

    In a related note, my favourite writing moment came when two friends and first-draft readers became physically upset with me on the death of a character in a screenplay. It caught them completely off guard and forced them to re-examine their expectations of the story (and possibly our friendship). And I loved every minute of it.

  5. Going through 6 and 9 right now. Just killed a character off, and wondering if I should go back and re-write to bring her back. I don’t think I’m murderous enough. Wait, should I be saying that on the internet?!

  6. When I was working on the 3rd book in my Free People trilogy, I had this great ending in mind. Then, as I was writing, my life was falling into constant turmoil making my mood darker every day. Eventually, my great ending fell away and I started killing characters off. It was like George Martin possessed me somehow.
    Anyway, when the book was finished, I was emotionally drained. I actually did tear up when I read the last death and said “oh hell no”. But the story was good. Took me a while and two extra chapters, but I corrected the problem. Thank God for magical realms and all the wonderful things you can do with them. Although, no character was magically revived, as that would constitute BS in my world, some of the characters found their way back through “alternative” ways.

  7. loved this 🙂 This is the opening to one of my books:-
    I have decided that tomorrow I am going to kill Caroline. I’d like to squash her flat under a road roller, or push her off the top of the Empire State Building, but I’m not sure how I could get her there, and I suspect Health and Safety have got it securely enclosed by now. I can’t shoot her as I’ve no idea where I’d get a gun, and a knife means getting up close and personal and I don’t want her blood all over me. I could poison her, but then I don’t know very much about poisons, and I really should dispose of her in a more interesting way. I’ve grown to hate her, and I want her death to be lingering and painful.
    For months she has caused me unmentionable pain and heartache. I’ve sat up all night worrying about her, and if I give up and go to bed, her very presence has caused me to toss and turn until the early hours. I have to put an end to this. She’s got to go. So, how am I going to dispose of her?
    A combine harvester, that’s the answer!
    I will mash her to pieces in a peaceful and idyllic corn field, while the birds sing and the soft wings of the butterflies barely disturb the air. Her screams will resonate as she is dismembered into bite-sized chunks between the rotating blades and her blood spurts metres into the air turning the ripened, golden maize a brilliant red.
    Yes, that’s what I’ll do tomorrow.

    For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a writer. In those early days, it seemed such a glamorous occupation, I so admired those people who could transport others into a land of fantasy, take them back in time to another world or forward into the future on another planet. What was more, you, the writer, were in control! You could give your characters a headache, or better still, break their legs or pop them into a wheelchair, and you could kill them off in so many different and exciting ways.

    We think alike!

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