The Blonde Creative Agony Aunt #writerslife #writers #comedy


 

When I am not writing my debut novel I like to transform into a Creative Agony Aunt.

I like to help troubled writers resolve matters of the heart.

My qualifications for being a ‘Creative Agony Aunt’ are:

  • I like to talk a lot.
  • I like to give advice on things which I don’t know much about.
  • I consider myself to be a very creative person. (sigh!)
  • I care about my readers.

Here is the email from this month’s troubled Blondewritemore reader:

Dear BlondeWriteMore

I am currently single and looking for love. Things have not gone well on the dating front.

My issue is that once I start talking about my writing – I can’t stop!  Out pours my passion for writing, how wonderful it makes me feel, the different voices in my head and I end up going into excessive detail on my latest 179k word draft novel.

My dates just don’t seem to share my literary passion. They raise their eyebrows when I mention the voices in my head and they are not interested in reading my draft novel. Half an hour in to my love of writing speech they discover that they are double booked on a social event and have to leave straight away. 

So I have decided to go to a Writer’s Speed Dating Event. Apparently this event is full of hot looking writers working on interesting novels. 

I think I could find love with another writer. They will understand the literary joy that comes from writing a 179k word fiction novel, the delights of editing and they can relate to hearing voices.

The problem I have is that I struggle to explain what I am working on in less than an hour and this speed dating session is 5 minutes.

Plus I have no idea what to wear to a Writer’s Speed Dating event.

Please help Blondewritemore – I’m desperate!

An anxious strawberry blonde writer.

Hello troubled writer!

What a marvellous event!  All you writer speed daters will be checking each other out from both a romantic and literary perspective. I do hope the venue has good air con because temperatures are going to rise! My pulse is racing just thinking about such an event.

If my loved one ever decides to put me back out to market I will be hot footing it down to this event. Lucky for me I love a bit of flash fiction so the time constraints on introducing myself and my writing will be a breeze for me! Sigh!  (Mental note: must do more micro fiction).

I am going to be honest with you troubled writer – you are going to struggle.

Here is my advice:

  1. You need to control your literary excitement for your work. Not everyone has a spare couple of hours to listen to you tell them all about your passion for writing. Some writers may even struggle with listening to another writer rave about their 179k draft novel. Especially if they have writer’s block or hate their writing.
  2. Has this work of art, that you have produced, been sent out for review yet or had an editor’s eye cast over it?  If not then send it out quick! A couple of emails filled with some hard-hitting reviewer comments should make your literary excitement evaporate in an instant!
  3. Read this really useful article which Graeme Shimming wrote on the Synopsis of Power. He will get you to cut down your lecture on your work of art.
  4. Sometimes its best to act a bit mysterious on a first date as it leaves your date wanting more. So if you like the look of your date, if their tweed suit is doing things for you, let them tell you about their literary work first (dates like talking about themselves) and when they ask you what you are working on, give them a cheeky wink and say…“lets arrange a second date and I will tell you more!”   Loud sigh!
  5. Don’t mention the voices in your head during the 5 minutes of speed dating. It could be misinterpreted as something else. I have this problem all the time.

In terms of an outfit to this fabulous event, go for that writer / very creative person look. The following items are essentials:

  • Tweed
  • Beret
  • Pencil tucked behind your ear.

Oh my goodness troubled writer I am so excited for you!

Best of luck at your Writer’s Speed Dating event. Let us know what happens! My readers will be on the edge of their seats waiting to hear whether you are off the literary dating shelf!

Creative hugs!

BlondeWriteMore  – Your Creative Agony Aunt.

If there are any other troubled writers out there needing advice please send in your letters and I will do my best to answer them all. 

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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

35 thoughts on “The Blonde Creative Agony Aunt #writerslife #writers #comedy

  1. Writers speed dating ! !! Maybe they should be provided with note pads and write a flash fiction 100 word piece to describe themselves which they then pass over to their ‘date’ to edit and review! !!!
    Great piece hun! Loved it!
    Started my day with a smile!!!

  2. Some sound advice you have there. And those voices in the head might just be a deal-breaker, especially in the first 5 minutes. Writing is such a personal passion, even those closest to us would balk after a while…I’ve seen the eyes glaze over myself. More than a few times. 💘

  3. Fabulous post Lucy, Great concept, speed dating for writers. Why not have 2 writers in a relationship, at least they’d both understand that the other is too busy, lol. 🙂

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