After waking in the morning all writers make an important decision about whether the day ahead is going to be a writing day or whether it is going to be a day of procrastination. If it is the latter the writer will opt for a house clean.
For noting: during a writing binge the house will deteriorate in terms of tidiness.
If you are looking to adopt the writer’s approach to house cleaning then please follow these top tips:
- Your creativity levels will need to be reflected through your choice of cleaning clothes. Wild and wacky cleaning outfits might not seem appropriate to non-writers but to a writer they are a reflection of how imaginative they are feeling. A writer will struggle to turn off their creative mind even when they are cleaning a house. So make sure your cleaning outfit is bold, vibrant and interesting!
- Writers like to obsess over stuff so this will need to come through in your cleaning routine. Spend ages scrubbing the hell out of one tiny object and refuse to put it down all day.
- Writers love getting feedback on their work. So make sure after every house cleaning task you ask the family to inspect your work and give you a star rating. You need to struggle with accepting anything less than a 4 star rating.
- Writers can get bored easily with their creative work and the same applies to house cleaning. Make sure you stare out of the window a lot, lie down when no one is watching and have a constant eye on Twitter.
- Writers are always muttering to themselves as they like to keep in touch with the fictional folk hanging around inside their head. So this needs to be reflected whilst cleaning. As you vacuum or polish make sure you are nattering away to yourself. You might also like to chuck in a squeal of laughter as some characters tell hilarious jokes.
- Adopt a writer house cleaning style according to your chosen genre:
- Historical fiction. Scrub and clean like you are a servant from one of Charles Dickens’s novels. You want to aim for back-breaking jobs and have a look of suffering on your face!
- ChickLit. Go for some light feather dusting with a smile!
- Thriller / Crime Fiction. Clean when nobody is watching and try to move in mysterious ways around the house. Perhaps vanish into thin air at some point.
- Science Fiction / Fantasy. You want to be adopting some out of the ordinary cleaning methods and you want to start claiming you have magical cleaning powers.
- Young Adult. Your cleaning skills need to be powerful and energetic. You might also want to be emotional whilst cleaning.
- Romantic Fiction. Float around the house whilst caressing the furniture with a duster, bite your lip a lot and let out some loud sighs.
- Head off for a writer’s nap when the house cleaning gets too much for you (after a good half hour maybe…)
Happy cleaning to all those writers out there enjoying a day of procrastination!
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/12608598@N02/10678757966″>Week 44 of 52 Weeks Art of Self Portraiture</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a>