How To Clean A House Like A Writer #writers #MondayBlogs #writer


How To Clean Your House Like a Writer-3

After waking in the morning all writers make an important decision about whether the day ahead is going to be a writing day or whether it is going to be a day of procrastination.  If it is the latter the writer will opt for a house clean.

For noting: during a writing binge the house will deteriorate in terms of tidiness.

If you are looking to adopt the writer’s approach to house cleaning then please follow these top tips:

  1. Your creativity levels will need to be reflected through your choice of cleaning clothes. Wild and wacky cleaning outfits might not seem appropriate to non-writers but to a writer they are a reflection of how imaginative they are feeling. A writer will struggle to turn off their creative mind even when they are cleaning a house. So make sure your cleaning outfit is bold, vibrant and interesting!
  2. Writers like to obsess over stuff so this will need to come through in your cleaning routine. Spend ages scrubbing the hell out of one tiny object and refuse to put it down all day.
  3. Writers love getting feedback on their work. So make sure after every house cleaning task you ask the family to inspect your work and give you a star rating. You need to struggle with accepting anything less than a 4 star rating.
  4. Writers can get bored easily with their creative work and the same applies to house cleaning. Make sure you stare out of the window a lot, lie down when no one is watching and have a constant eye on Twitter.
  5. Writers are always muttering to themselves as they like to keep in touch with the fictional folk hanging around inside their head. So this needs to be reflected whilst cleaning. As you vacuum or polish make sure you are nattering away to yourself. You might also like to chuck in a squeal of laughter as some characters tell hilarious jokes.
  6. Adopt a writer house cleaning style according to your chosen genre:
    • Historical fiction. Scrub and clean like you are a servant from one of Charles Dickens’s novels. You want to aim for back-breaking jobs and have a look of suffering on your face!
    • ChickLit. Go for some light feather dusting with a smile!
    • Thriller / Crime Fiction. Clean when nobody is watching and try to move in mysterious ways around the house. Perhaps vanish into thin air at some point.
    • Science Fiction / Fantasy. You want to be adopting some out of the ordinary cleaning methods and you want to start claiming you have magical cleaning powers.
    • Young Adult. Your cleaning skills need to be powerful and energetic. You might also want to be emotional whilst cleaning.
    • Romantic Fiction. Float around the house whilst caressing the furniture with a duster, bite your lip a lot and let out some loud sighs.
  7.  Head off for a writer’s nap when the house cleaning gets too much for you (after a good half hour maybe…)

Happy cleaning to all those writers out there enjoying a day of procrastination!




photo credit: <a href=”″>Week 44 of 52 Weeks Art of Self Portraiture</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;


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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

96 thoughts on “How To Clean A House Like A Writer #writers #MondayBlogs #writer

  1. I fancy being a romantic cleaner lie the last on, but I think I think I end up being more of a action/thriller cleaner, where my writers mind is on a time limit and has many obstacles(kids) to overcome, never knowing what I’ll find at each corner, whizzing around cleaning until the task is done!

      1. (Or, said differently: the place is so dirty we are scared to hire anyone to clean. That’s a really tough position to be in! 🙂 )

      2. Well, probably only really intriguing to a microbiologist! There’s a story: a microbiologist with OCD (a bit like Tony Shaloub’s “Monk” from a few years ago).

  2. LOL I have a pair of bright blue hippy hareem trousers – they are totes my creative pants! and I definitely only clean when stressed – so that puts me firmly in the YA camp! lol. at least I’m consistent!

  3. Enjoyed your take on a dreadful hobby. However, it helps when Husband is too busy mucking about with cars in his shed to even notice that house looks like a disaster zone. Cooking is the only chore necessary during frantic bouts of writing or checking on blog posts. Best of luck with the competition, please note, vote was duly posted.

  4. Writing a political thriller? Declare your teenager’s room a national disaster and instead of cleaning, set off a bomb. The fallout couldn’t be any worse and you’d have new writing material. Bonus!

  5. For science fiction you should boldly clean where no one has cleaned before. Or clean somewhere that is far away that hasn’t been cleaned sine long, long ago… lol
    Have a great Monday Lucy! 🙂

  6. Ooh I have flipped from number 4 on other lists to a number 3 on this one. I guess I must be writing for young adults, since my approach is when I have to do it, I go hell for leather, don’t stop till I drop and I get pretty emotional with my cleaning. Haha, got me smiling this Monday afternoon, Thanks Lucy

  7. Science Fiction / Fantasy. You want to be adopting some out of the ordinary cleaning methods and you want to start claiming you have magical cleaning powers.

    I need a Harry Potter wand! I can walk around a flick like Mrs. Weasley. This article was so much fun. Excellent job!

  8. I think I would just write about a clean room. Obviously,it would crime fiction with everything stolen or arson from burning the house down to cover the bodies in the basement. In real life, I’m a slob. I asked for professional help,they said it’s not a condition. I’m misunderstood

  9. Housecleaning? My dust bunnies and I respect each other. We have an agreement. I stay out of their way and they stay out of mine. 😀 😀 😀
    Another fascinating post regarding another writerly preoccupation.

  10. Housecleaning only happens when company is coming over. 😀 Otherwise, I have worlds to build and destroy, characters to love and slay. Who has time for cleaning when the protagonist is on the brink of fulfilling his destiny?

  11. Cleaning, ugh, that’s the worst thing ever. There’s so many other things to do that just appeal so much more…. perhaps I should write a murder mystery about it! Next person asks me to clean gets axed!

  12. I seriously procrastinate! 🙂 Other than laundry, that is never ending, though I tend to forget to go change it. 🙂 Once in awhile, cleaning becomes my way of putting off writing. But not too often. 🙂 So funny.

  13. I’m not very good at cleaning, or very motivated. I think I might try it Romance style next time… all that floating about, lip chewing and sighs sounds fun. 😊

  14. All I can think about when cleaning, is getting it over as quickly as possible, in short bursts of activity, setting a time limit to it and rewarding myself with a cup of tea at the end. Am forever hoping to write a bestselling novel and pay someone else to do the cleaning. I don’t mind cooking or ironing, so am slightly redeemed in my role as homemaker.

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