How to Spot a Writer in a Supermarket #Writers #WritersLife

 

As a writer you might prefer to do your food shopping online. Buying food online is a great way to procrastinate as you get to feel like you are doing something important (food gatherer) and it takes you away from writing. Trust me when you are trying to avoid writing your novel it can take hours browsing through every single food item an online supermarket site has to offer.

However, there will be some occasions when you will be forced to venture out to a supermarket (Wi-Fi on the blink / forced human interaction).

I believe a writer can be spotted in a supermarket and this is definitely worthy of a blog post.

So, here is how to spot a writer in a supermarket:

  1. The writer will enter the supermarket looking puzzled (scratching head or chin). Their loved ones will have been complaining for days about the empty food cupboards and the writer will be keen to resolve this situation. However, the writer will be asking themselves what’s more important – “my first chapter sounding amazing or food in the house?”)
  2. They will be dressed in normal writer attire:
    • Pjs, or
    • Comfy clothes, or
    • A tweed jacket (the writer’s fabric of choice), with an elaborate ruffled shirt, a colourful scarf (to reflect their creativity levels) and finished off with a stylish beret. Sigh!
  3. The writer will be seen clutching a very long food shopping list (food supplies started to run low when the writer realised their first chapter needed more work. First chapters can mess with a writer’s head causingΒ real life to grind to a halt).
  4. Seconds into their food shop the writer will get distracted by the book aisle. They will be seen muttering stuff under their breath and pushing their empty trolley towards the shelves of books. After a good half hour spent browsing through the books, making some remarks about the quality of some of the books on offer, shaking their head at some of the opening chapters, they will chuck a few books into their trolley (no true writer can leave a book aisle without making a purchase or two) and wander off into the food section.
  5. Writers will be the shoppers ‘circling’ (like vultures) the cheese and wine aisles. I can’t think why a writer would be so drawn to these supermarket aisles. After a good half hour spent circling the writer will chuck in a few blocks of cheese, plus a couple of bottles of wine. (The decision on whether they go for red or white wine will be dependent on how they feel about their latest draft. If they are feeling positive and upbeat about their work they will be opting for a light, refreshing, sparkling white wine. On the other hand if the thought of their draft makes them feel emotional and depressed they will plump for a heavy and mind numbing red).
  6. Once the important items have been put in the trolley; a couple of paperbacks, a nice Stilton and a full-bodied, robust bottle of Shiraz, the writer will take a look at the remaining food aisles and stifle a yawn.
  7. The writer will then be seen scooting up and down the other aisles, chucking in whatever comes to hand or catches their eye. Their loved ones will just have to make do with whatever is in their shopping bags. The writer will look like they are keen to get home at this point.
  8. The writer will make a quick dash up the chocolate aisle as their Β secret ’emergency chocolate’ supplies will be running low. The writer will be seen chucking in a few ‘slabs’ for good measure and muttering stuff about the importance of sugar in the creative process.
  9. Before they head for the checkout the writer will get a strong urge to go to one last place – the coffee and tea aisle. That new idea they had about their draft, on the way to the supermarket, will need caffeine hot housingΒ in the next few days so its vital tea and coffee stocks are replenished.
  10. In the queue for the checkout the writer will be seen staring into space and dreaming about going home to write (whilst sipping wine, nibbling on cheese and taking a nap when it all gets too much for them).

I LOVE being a writer!

The moral of this tale is….never send a writer out to a supermarket to do a big food shop.

I hope you all have a fabulous day!

 

Photo: Pixabay

Posted by

I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

59 thoughts on “How to Spot a Writer in a Supermarket #Writers #WritersLife

  1. Lol!!!!
    As a writer/mum, I still have to be organized, but the bit about secret stashes… Oh yes!!!!
    I still look at the book aisle, but inevitably come away with children’s books… I can’t help it!

  2. Hahaha! You put a smile on my face at 4:00 a.m. I can relate to books, wine, and chocolate. I’m such a cliche.

    A writer will also be seen going home without the groceries. I’m not kidding. Our grocery store puts your bags in tubs and sends them outside on a conveyor belt. You take the numbers for your tubs and drive around to have them loaded into your car. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been thinking about a WIP and drove home without the groceries – close to a dozen!

  3. The writer will be procrastinating at shopping! *sigh* on their list will be only Proctor & Gamble products, such as #Marmite , PG tips and Persil… knowing they will not be found; not in the supermarket they are wandering in.

  4. Funny as ever, Lucy. I opt for the comfy clothes, at all times of day (I’ve never been a fashion plate; a plate full of choccies, maybe, but never a fashion one)! And your page header photo is gorgeous, by the way. I haven’t seen yet; are you doing NaNoWriMo or are you too busy with other projects?

      1. This one will go all the way, hopefully next year sometime. Wow – 2017 could be the year I publish my first book….thank you for making me think about this..:-) Feel a bit warm and fuzzy now!

      2. Lucy, I don’t know if you’re putting together a list of potential publishers, but I just ran across this small press (it was mentioned in this week’s Funds for Writers; that’s a great free newsletter and they have a paid one as well, which is supposed to have even more markets and publishers). Anyway, this small press says: “We are currently accepting manuscripts for submission and are especially in the market for women’s fiction, light romance, memoirs, and mystery/suspense.” So, you might want to research them and keep them on your radar! Link is from WiDo Publishing (http://widopublishing.com/submissions/). Have a wonderful writing weekend!

      1. My reviewers thought the plot was fine in the first draft but I thought it could be better. My reviewers thought the characters were ok – but I thought they could be better. It’s so hard going against reviewer feedback…

      2. But that’s really positive that the reviewers thought you’d got it right first time πŸ™‚ That’s amazing. And now you’re making it even better πŸ™‚

  5. Super post. I have lost my food shopping privileges. I think it was the coffee, stilton, wine combo that did me in. Oh yes. My wife could never understand why the shopping list and coupons always got lost before I got to the store. You’ve now explained it.

  6. Supermarkets are great for checking out a bit of dialogue … I’ve made more than a few ‘odd’ comments and had all sorts of replies! I’m usually found near the chocolate, wine and nuts … and like to feel a book … Kindle user withdrawal symptoms ever with me. Goodnight Lucy.

  7. Imagine being a healthy food blogger and having to hide the wine and chocolate under mounds of fresh produce just in case a patient wanders by to examine the cart.
    “What’s for dinner doc?”
    And my favorite thing is sneaking out to buy groceries in yoga pants, ratty tshirt and uncombed hair – it’s guaranteed that I will run into 10 patients and a hot colleague. I can’t keep up the glam and healthy lifestyle all the time people. πŸ•ΆπŸ‘ πŸ‘—πŸ‘›

    1. And there was me sat here thinking ‘does she ever do non-glam?” Sigh! You must check out tomorrow’s post when you get a chance titled ‘The Writer’s Wine Break’ – it’s a classic!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s