Do you dream about being a writer?
Why not act like one on Christmas Day?
Stick a pencil behind your ear, tuck a blank notebook under your arm, grab a silly festive hat and start acting like a writer on Christmas Day:
- Your festive mood on Christmas Day will depend on a number of factors:
- Your feelings towards your current creative project. As a writer it is impossible to ignore that sinking feeling about your draft novel – even on Christmas Day!
- Your views on your own writing abilities. These change daily and in some cases hourly.
- The number of books Santa brings you. A stocking stuffed full of novel shaped gifts can give a writer so much early morning festive pleasure.
- Santa’s choice of books. If Santa has ‘ignored’ your Xmas list and decided to buy you what he thinks you would like to read…there could be some dark looks being cast over a mince-pie.
- In the run up to Christmas you will have prepared two gift lists for Santa. One of these lists will be on your mind when you wake up:
- Your standard present list; books, notebooks, pencil-case, pens and lucky writer undies.
- Your writer fantasy list; a bestselling novel, an eye watering publishing deal, three zillion five-star book reviews and a film company hounding you for the film rights to your book.
- You will spend Christmas Day feeling a little miffed with Santa for not delivering on your writer fantasy list.
- Your wrapping of gifts for loved ones will reflect your creativity levels and give everyone an indication of your procrastination levels at the time of gift purchase:
- If your procrastinating levels were soaring your loved ones will be marvelling your beautiful and exquisitely wrapped gifts.
- On the other hand if you were more interested with finishing your second draft in the run up to Christmas your loved ones will be lucky if their gifts have been a.) wrapped or b.) purchased!
- You won’t have had time to buy a lot of gifts for everyone (too busy writing your second draft) so you will watch the smile on the face of your loved one evaporate as they unwrap one of your short stories..
- Your first thought will be to ask them whether they would have preferred something from another genre. Perhaps your idea of a festive themed romance for your forty something loved one (who struggles to find some emotional phrases for your Valentines card) was a bad choice? Maybe you should have whipped up a 1000 word spy thriller short story?
- This will be quickly followed by your second thought – your loved one is so ungrateful – if only they knew the pain you went through (the night before, whilst pretending to iron their shirts) with your thesaurus as you tried to describe white snow in a number of different and unique ways?
- The amount of food and drink you consume over your Christmas lunch will depend upon the stage you are at with your current creative project:
- First draft – you will go wild! Key phrases from you will be “let’s crack open another bottle!” and “a third helping of pudding for me please!”
- Second draft – you will want to numb the pain. Key phrases from you will be “pass me the bottle of the strong and heavy red!” and “just leave me alone with the cheeseboard!”
- Subsequent drafts – you will be the life and soul of the table. Key phrases from you will be “let’s live dangerously and have a good helping of everything!” and “anyone fancy a cheeky dance to some Xmas festive pop hits from the 80s?”
- Editing – you will want to drown your sorrows. Key phrases from you will be “I keep seeing typos every time I shut my eyes… I think I need more wine!” and “can no one mention crutch words to me?” (cue bizarre looks from family members and a murmur “did she say crotch?”)
- At some point during the day you will wish your fictional characters a happy Christmas! This might be done in private or in public – around the family dinner table and with a glass of sherry in your hand! Cue the eye rolls from relatives and the ‘ignore her – she’s a writer!’ murmurs.
- You will do a great impression of a ‘beached whale lying on a sofa trying to work a laptop’ in the afternoon. You won’t get anything written but just balancing your laptop on your belly full of food will make you feel better.
- Christmas evening will be spent hiding behind the tree with the cat. It will be the only place where you can work on your draft in peace whilst enjoying a glass of sherry!
Happy Christmas Writers!