Why Forgiveness Is So Important For Writers #MondayBlogs #Writers #AmWriting

why-forgiveness-is-so-important

This past week I have learnt the importance of forgiveness in my creative life. It came to me after I read Spirit Junkie – A Radical Road To Discovering Self Love And Miracles by Gabrielle Bernstein. The book is excellent and really resonated with me. It is one of those wonderful self-help books where you read it and cringe a lot, as you can see yourself on the page.

There is an entire section of the book dedicated to forgiveness. I never thought about the importance of forgiveness until I read this book.

If I could rename myself I would be called Little Miss Bitterness.

For too long I have been:

  • Resenting my imperfect past projects.
  • Beating myself up over my bad writing habits.
  • Resenting others who walked away from failed collaborative projects many moons ago.
  • Resenting some Wattpad reader feedback that I got on one of my Vampire stories.
  • Beating myself up over someone’s hurtful comments about a short story that I wrote.
  • Beating myself up for spending three months writing a second draft that was not good as the first draft.

Holding onto all this guilt and shame has brought nothing but pain and misery into my creative life. Wasted time and energy. As a result projects that brought me joy and happiness have been stopped, shelved or criticised heavily by me.

Writing is hard. It can be painful, tough, challenging and it can reduce one into a sobbing mess on the sofa, wedging giant slabs of chocolate into her mouth. It is also something that requires time. Writing is a craft that takes hours, months, days and years to master.

As writers we need to learn how to take a breath and remind ourselves that we are simply in training.

Forgiving myself and others this past week, for all of the above, has been enlightening and I have had a few teary moments too.

Imperfect past projects are part of our creative training. Forgiving myself about my imperfect past projects has been interesting. Accepting that they are imperfect and acknowledging that I am still very fond of them has seen a change in me. I have actually found myself going back to my The Diary of Roxy Collins podcast. This was something I stopped doing back in November because I did not think it was very good.

Do you know what? I had the most magical time recording the latest episode. It brought me so much laughter and I forgot about the quality.

thediaryof

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and will make their own choices. In hindsight I am glad the collaborative project didn’t work out, it was the right outcome. Forgiving those who walked away has been a lot easier than I thought.

With regards the Wattpad experience, I wrote an emotionally charged death of a much-loved character and I was bound to tug on some heart-strings. I have let the experience go as well as the hurtful comment about one of my short stories. This person’s comments say more about them than they do about my writing. Forgiving them has been such a release.

I am still learning my craft and the more writing practice I get the better.

Forgiveness is the secret ingredient to moving forward with my creative life. After all this forgiveness I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I love this quote:

‘..sometimes when we are beating ourselves up, we need to stop and say to that harassing voice inside, “Man, I’m doing the very best I can right now.’ BrenΓ© Brown Rising Strong. 

Have a wonderful day

Lucy x

Photo: Stocksnaps

 

 

54 thoughts on “Why Forgiveness Is So Important For Writers #MondayBlogs #Writers #AmWriting

  1. This was a nice post, and I do agree with about forgiving yourself. For me, I am going to forgive myself for wasting three years on Wattpad. It was an awful experience, and one I hope to forget in the future.

    I’m also going to forgive myself for letting egotistical, horrible Wattpad writers for making me feel less than I am. It’s time to start fresh and realize that no writer is perfect.

  2. Pingback: Why Forgiveness is So Important – Caffeine and Other Vices

  3. A great post and definitely something I needed to read right now. I haven’t been doing much writing lately and even skipped a week in blogging, and it’s hard to forgive yourself for things like that when you’re supposed to be a writer.

    I’m glad you got back to your podcast and it made you happy. I should follow the example and try to remember how happy writing makes me. Focus on the future instead of the past. And maybe have just one more chocolate bar for inspiration…

    Thanks for sharing this and have a wonderful week πŸ™‚

  4. Perhaps you were just at the right place in your life to learn that lesson, Lucy. It’s a powerful one, and – hard though it can be at times – very empowering when you put it into practice.
    Does this mean you’re going to be even more productive, or that you’re going to cut yourself some slack – or both?

  5. Hello there! Just stumbled across your blog and I’m so happy I did. This really spoke to me, and when I get down about it all I remind myself why I wanted to write in the first place. Because I love it, for me, it’s not for anyone else. So you do you and let the negative people worry about themselves.

  6. You have worked hard to get where you are. Don’t let negative comments bring you down, my friend. I love your stories, and I know many others do too! I’m glad to hear you’ve continued Roxy’s series. πŸ™‚
    β€œMan, I’m doing the very best I can right now.”–such a good quote!

  7. I’m much better at forgiving others than forgiving myself. As for a second draft not being as good as a first draft, that can happen, but the third draft might fall somewhere between the two and be the best. It’s such a fine balancing act between maintaining the original spark of the story and over-editing so that it kills that spark.

  8. As someone who has really struggled to launch her writing career, I too have discovered the importance of forgiveness. I have been learning to forgive those who rejected me (some because they really weren’t my audience to begin with), as well as publishing companies that promised much but delivered little. I have learned so much from them. So glad to be reminded that I’m not the only one!

  9. Pingback: Why Returning To A Failed Creative Project Has Been One Of The Best Things I have Ever Done! #MondayBlogs | BlondeWriteMore

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