Job Description – The Writer’s Pet #MondayBlogs #Writer #WritersLife

#writer #pets #author #authorpets

On those dark and gloomy days when it feels like the world has turned away from our work, we can always rely on our pets to make us smile again.

Pets play an important role in the life of a writer. So, I have given some thought to the job description for a writer’s pet. Here goes:

Vacancy For A Writer’s Pet.

About The Role:

Animal needed to provide long-term emotional and creative support to a writer.

Hours:

Can vary each week. Dependent upon a number of factors:

  • The writer’s feelings towards their work.
  • The writer’s procrastination levels.
  • The amount of emotional support a writer gets from a human loved one. If they don’t get enough emotional support the pet will have to step in and do overtime.

Location:

This is a live in role with the writer.

Key Duties / Responsibilities:

  • Must be able to look ‘cute’ at short notice and willing to star in Instagram pics when the writer is busy procrastinating.
  • Must be able to look alert at the start and end of the writer’s 678th recital of their first chapter. During the rest of the time they can go to sleep.
  • Must be willing to be named after one of the literary greats or one of the writer’s characters. If it’s the latter, they must accept that their pet name could be changed at the drop of a hat should the writer decide they hate their story.
  • Must be able to sense the writer is having an emotional breakdown over their writing and allow the writer to sob hysterically into their fur.
  • Must be willing to accept the writer will be constantly creating imaginary and elaborate lives for them. These imaginary lives can vary with each writer and will be dependent upon the writer’s preferred genre. The pet might find they spent many years travelling across magical lands, fought in a great battle and were a stowaway on a famous voyage before they came to live with the writer. It’s important the pet just plays along with this.
  • Must be willing to sit and listen to the writer’s literary woes.
  • Must be able to keep the writer’s keyboard warm when they are away from their desk.
  • Must be willing to growl or hiss at the mention of a best-selling, chart topping author who the writer dislikes.
  • Must be willing to feature in their writer’s stories and novels.
  • Must get the urge to chew up the writer’s paper manuscript or walk muddy paws over it whilst the writer’s back is turned.
  • Must be willing to perform amusing animal stunts or tricks for inclusion within the writer’s tweets, blog posts and author newsletters.
  • Must accept that the writer will regularly ask them questions like, “what do you think about that chapter…my reviewers thought the start was a little weak…your thoughts?” and “what do you think about my foreshadowing?” and “do you think I will ever be an international best-selling author?” 

About you – the pet:

  • You will be loyal and patient.
  • You will love a human reading stuff to you.
  • You will know how to strike a good pet pose on a pet selfie.
  • You will know how to distract a tearful writer when your pet selfie gets more likes and comments on Facebook than their latest piece of flash fiction.

Salary:

  • This role is paid in love.

Perks:

  • If the writer becomes famous you will be known as their pet. This may result in you getting your own blog, Instagram or Facebook following.
  • You will get to hear the writer’s latest work before anyone else. You lucky animal!
  • You will be known for keeping your writer sane.

Please let me know if you think I have missed any key roles or responsibilities.

Thanks for reading,

Have a great day.

Photo: Upsplash

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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

61 thoughts on “Job Description – The Writer’s Pet #MondayBlogs #Writer #WritersLife

  1. I thought of one that unfortunately is impossible: Must live forever (or at least, as long as the author is alive; not literally forever)!

  2. Hey Lucy,

    How I smiled and chuckled at your entertaining post and continue to giggle even now as I sit and type a thank you. I thought this endearing and have printed the Job Description and left it with the Pet Rescue team at my local vets. I am hopeful for responses 🙂

    If I may leave a line or two….

    “You are so beautiful,” sighed the Writer’s blues.

    “How I love to amuse the muse in you,

    and muse the muse amused in you,

    to amuse the muse I love, in you.”

    (I arrived by way of The Story Reading Ape’s re-blog. Thank you Chris, and thank you Lucy)

    Brightest blessings for your week ahead. May you be gifted with diamonds and pearls and the affection of a loving Muse.

    Namaste 🙂

    DN

      1. My pleasure Lucy,

        Thank you for the gentle push towards pet ownership 🙂 I’ve had a call from the Rescue Team and a visit booked to them for later in the week. I am told there’s a smoky grey kitty who needs a loving home. (Not to sure how my desk Teddy, Sizzles, will feel about that, but hey, they had it coming after repeated failure! lol )

        Have a wonderful week, take care.

        Namaste 🙂

        DN

      2. It would be my pleasure to share something of the mystery within her cat’s eyes with you Lucy, thank you 🙂 Perhaps I’ll even let you know the secrets held deep within her purring heart…

        Namaste 🙂

        DN

  3. My cats were in the original draft of Carrion, the assorted sidekicks to the lead character. Unfortunately – and much to the disappointment of my children – my editor deemed that the names Mush, Beeble, Tipsy and Nicky weren’t heroic enough. Sadly, those cats are no longer with me, but their exploits will live on – if only under pseudonyms.

      1. Well, apart from Nicky, but it was an abbreviation of his full name, Nicholai Hel (a character from a book I read many years ago).
        Originally it was a story I told to the kids at bedtime, so it was fun to include people names after their cats.

  4. I have two fluffy cats to like to curl up on my desk as I work. If I don’t get to work early enough, they nag me! Their role is to give me something warm and fluffy to stroke (very calming!) while I’m thinking of how to phrase something just right.

    Occasionally they stand up and block the screen of course, but that’s to remind me that I haven’t eaten or gone to the bathroom in too many hours.

  5. Dear Ms Lucy
    You have most of this down perfectly correctly. The most important part is to be willing to undertake, if necessary, the role of the baddie. My mate Colman got stuck with this one, and that dragged me down that path too. Fortunately, in Mummy’s next book she says I see the light.
    For the most part, though, she gets our lives exactly right – we live these dreams and she writes them down for you to read.
    Well, that’s how it is for guinea pigs. Maybe it’s different for cats.
    love
    Kevin xxx

  6. I have two furry companions that prove to both be equal opportunity lovers and distractions. But I couldn’t do without either of them. They provide me with the stress relief I need when my day isn’t going well. My puppy gives me exercise and my cat gives me cuddles. I love them both and they’ve shown up in more than one story in some kind of incarnation.

  7. Aw love this! Great idea! Salary paid in love! hehe. Also this resonates with me 🙂 Ever since my cat passed a year and a half ago, I’ve definitely needed another cuddle buddy/writer and yoga kitty. I live of course with my husband’s cat, so it’s not like I’m alone, but she doesn’t really cuddle. My cat Darlen was like my soul in cat form. One day, I’ll find another kitty just for me once again 🙂 In time, when the time is right 🙂

      1. Hehe good to meet another writer who does yoga! And I totally understand. Every cat I’ve met enjoys it when I do yoga around them!! It’s like they liven up with it. 😀

  8. I really, really, really wish I could have a cat! I get jealous when I read about people’s pets. This sounds like my perfect pet. To this, I would have to add “Must travel well.” I am an on-the-go person, and I would love my pet to be able to come with me.

    Sadly, however, I can’t own a pet because of my occupation; I’m away from home too much to give them the love and care they deserve. I haven’t been to the cat café near me in a while; I need a kitty fix. 😦

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