If you think being a writer is difficult, spare a thought to your loved one or other half!
Can you imagine how they must feel listening to you huff and puff over the opening paragraph of your first chapter?
Ever wondered what it must be like to sit and watch the person you love spend their entire day editing the hell out of three sentences?
I think we can all agree on this, the writer’s other half is a special human being with many interesting qualities.
So, I have given some thought to what the job description might look like for the writer’s other half.
About The Role:
An exciting romantic opportunity has arisen for a self motivated, patient and enthusiastic individual to help support and love a writer throughout their literary journey.
Can change and will be dependent upon:
- The emotional state of the writer. Some writers might require more emotional support than others.
- The stage the writer is at with their creative project. Extra hours will be required if the writer is going through a bad patch of writer’s block or if they have been on the receiving end of some unexpected negative criticism.
- The writer’s love of social media. Hours will vary according to the peaks and troughs of the writer’s social media accounts. Must be prepared for all communication to stop if the writer’s work is being tweeted a lot. On the other hand they must be willing to put in the extra hours when their writer has fallen out with Twitter.
- The job will be based at home with the writer.
Key Duties / Responsibilities:
- Must be able to view tweeting, pinning and posting as ‘important writer work.’
- Must be willing to accept that they will be written into the writer’s fictional stories in some shape or form.
- Must be happy to wait for hours outside a bookshop as their writer struggles to find a book to read for pleasure.
- Must be experienced at having weird conversations. Must not be phased by interesting topics such as unusual murder weapons, zombie apocalypses, dystopian westerns and the dating problems faced by Merfolk.
- Must be able to support the writer through episodes of fictional trauma.
- Must show minimal interest in the writer’s work.
- Must be willing for pillow talk to include an assessment of the writer’s latest idea for a future bestseller. This conversation will be one-sided and any romance that follows will depend on changes in facial expressions and the number of gasps of delight whilst the writer explained the premise.
- Must be willing to accept the house pecking order: the writer, their fictional characters (an array of needy invisible people), writer pets / kids and finally the writer’s other half.
- Must be able to step in with the children, pets and housework if the writer is in the middle of a writing binge.
- Must be able to bring an emotional writer back down to reality by reminding them that no one died whilst they read their first draft. Yes it was a total clanger of a draft but no one died.
- Must be able to accept that advising the writer their draft novel needs more work could lead to divorce.
- Must be willing to act out scenes the writer is struggling with.
- Must be able to write a glowing review on Amazon, Goodreads etc.
- You will be an expert at walking on eggshells.
- Your tea and coffee making skills will be world class.
- You will excel at cheerleading!
- Paid via the salary of love ❤️
- You might get a line dedicated to you in the acknowledgements section of your writer’s novel.
- You will get the kudos of saying you are romantically linked to a writer. Sigh! Doesn’t that sound great?
- You will never be short of reading material.
- Your life will never be dull!
- You will always have someone who will listen to your life problems and troubling feelings. They might even scribble down some notes whilst you talk.
- You will always get an invite to your writer’s book signing event…as long as you buy a copy 😊
Sigh! What a job vacancy 👍🏻
Have a great day
photo credit: http://www.jasoncoreyphoto.com <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/38257021@N05/13685976693″>Susan & Vinnie</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a>