Welcome to The Diary of Roxy Collins – The Serious Relationship Series.
Every Thursday you can read Roxy’s diary entries.
They record the emotional highs and lows of her new serious relationship with Marcus, the man of her dreams. He lives on the posh side of town, drives a flash car and doesn’t mind her wild kids or the wobbly bits on her hips and thighs. Has Roxy finally found true love?
How will their new relationship survive when Roxy enters the TV talent show ‘Search For a Star’?
Will Roxy be a hit in the Over 25’s singing category?
“Roxy, do you have to wear this to bed?” Marcus whispers, pulling at my long-sleeved, sexy lingerie number.
I wipe a thick layer of sweat from my forehead and silently curse Useful Kim’s tattooist friend, Keith, for getting confused. Instead of tattooing ‘Marcus’ onto my shoulder, he tattooed ‘Martin’, the name of my manager at work and to make matters worse he added a pink love heart.
Orange Lorna was right about this new top making me sweat buckets. Still, I must be grateful as it’s doing an excellent job of hiding my tattoo from Marcus.
“Roxy, have you got some sort of skin condition?” Marcus whispers. “is that why you are wearing a winter ski top to bed?”
“It is NOT a winter ski top,” I argue, before turning over my pillow, which is drenched in sweat. “I thought it would make me look sexy…in long sleeves.”
Marcus switches on the bedside light. “You know I can cope with a skin rash, as long it’s not infectious.”
I shake my damp head and decide to change my strategy. “Marcus, I’m shy. That’s why I am practically fully dressed in bed.”
He sits up in surprise. “You’re a bit shy?”
“Oh yes, I am not very confident around men.” I pull the duvet covers up around me and think of an ice bath.
“Shy?” Marcus’s eyebrows are raised so high they are almost in his hairline. “When we were in your laundry cupboard you didn’t strike me as shy.”
I scratch my nose and try to avoid all eye contact with him.
“When we kissed over the photocopier at the office party, I never got the impression you were lacking confidence.”
After gulping back a bottle of water by the side of our bed, I silently curse myself for not being more restrained at the start of our relationship.
He runs his hand through my red hair. “Roxy, why do I get the feeling you are hiding something from me?”
“Where have you been?” mumbles a sleepy Marcus.
I sneak back inside my side of the bed. “To cool off…I mean to the toilet.”
I have emerged from the shower, wrapped in a fluffy white bath robe.
Marcus is stood at the hotel room door talking to someone. On seeing me he closes it and smiles. “People in the room next door are concerned about the noise. I told them you had an audition today.”
Whilst in the hotel shower I had not thought about the audition, I had sung through my usual repertoire of morning shower songs and day dreamed about marrying Marcus.
All my anxiety about this afternoon’s audition comes flooding back to me.
“Don’t look so worried, Roxy,” says Marcus, “not everyone likes listening to Cher over breakfast.”
I give him a puzzled look.
He grins. “The old couple next door who complained about you singing.”
I roll my eyes at him and flop onto the bed. “This audition is making me feel on edge.”
Marcus comes to sit beside my legs. “Come on, it will be fun. Just don’t flirt with that judge everyone fancies or I will get jealous.”
I sit up and throw my arms around him. “Hugo Rocco does nothing for me,” I say, lying through my teeth.
“Do you think he would see more of you than I do?” Marcus kisses me on the cheek and grins. Spending quality time together has been an issue for us lately.
I kiss him back. “Definitely, I would see him all the time. He’s Hugo Rocco!”
We fall back onto the bed laughing and I forget about how easy it is for bath robes to come loose.
Marcus stops laughing and frowns. “Roxy, why have you got the name ‘Martin’ tattooed onto your shoulder?”
I gulp loudly.
“It looks pretty recent too. Are you seeing someone else?” He gets up from the bed and stares at me with his piercing blue eyes.
My heart starts to thud inside my chest. “It’s not what you think, Marcus.”
“Is this why we are not spending any time together?” He rubs his face as I yank up my bath robe. “Have you been busy seeing another man?”
“I can explain,” I say, watching Marcus gather his clothes.
“Too late, Roxy,” he snaps, pulling on his jeans.
Before I can say another word he’s grabbed his wallet and left the hotel room.
Marcus has not returned. I am sat in our hotel room with puffy red eyes and a tear-stained face.
Shaz, Orange Lorna and Useful Kim are face timing me from Useful Kim’s kitchen.
We were supposed to be discussing our audition strategy but we all feel the situation with Marcus needs talking through.
“This has happened to me loads of times,” says Useful Kim.
Orange Lorna laughs. “I bet it has with the amount of names tattooed on your back.”
Useful Kim ignores Orange Lorna and carries on. “Just tell Marcus you will pay Keith to get creative and turn the ‘tin’ into ‘cus’ for you. I have known him to work some tattoo magic.”
Orange Lorna scratches her head, before pretending to write something in the air. She shakes her head, rubs out her imaginary letters and starts again. “Nope, I don’t think Keith will be able to turn ‘tin’ into ‘cus’, without making a mess,” she says.
Useful Kim glares at Orange Lorna. “Never doubt Keith. He saved my tattoo when I asked for the wrong spelling of ‘Stuart’.
Shaz rolls her eyes at Useful Kim. “Keith is the last person Roxy is going to turn to.”
Useful Kim shakes her head. “Don’t blame Keith. She was the one (points to me) who was talking about her manager at work, whilst sat in Keith’s chair.”
A wave of emotional tiredness hits me. “Ladies I am going to go now and get my head together.”
Orange Lorna is still writing air letters and muttering to herself.
Shaz and Useful Kim wave me goodbye.
I have met the girls at the auditions, which are being held at the local football ground. We are now queuing to register.
Marcus never returned to the hotel room. I have tried calling him but he’s not picking up my calls.
Useful Kim puts her arm around me. “Come on Roxy, we need your powerful voice this afternoon.”
Shaz leans her head on my shoulder. “Yea come on Roxy, your big voice will make us rich!”
Orange Lorna fiddles with one of her crutches. “Do you think this is going to work with my hurting foot?”
“Think sympathy vote!” says Useful Kim. “I am loving that new shade of fake tan on you.”
Shaz and I look away quickly. Orange Lorna is living up to her nickname today.
“You look amazing, Roxy,” says Shaz, checking out my leopard print mini dress and giant heels.
I hang my head. “Would have been nice for Marcus to see me in it.”
Shaz puts her hand on my shoulder. “He’ll be here. I think he will turn up.”
I pray Shaz’s prediction comes true.
From talking to another girl group, ‘The Pop Chicks’ the first audition is in front of the judges. Apparently Hugo Rocco is in the building.
The ‘Pop Chicks’, who have an average age of sixteen, eye us suspiciously from across the chairs.
Big Spike, Shaz’s boyfriend has turned up with a screaming Little Spike in a buggy. Useful Kim’s son, Trevor, is busy setting up a stand selling our band’s chosen fake tan brand (Useful Kim’s own cheap stuff, which makes you look like Orange Lorna).
We are all watching the ‘Pop Chicks’ run over to Trevor. Their squeals and shrieks are so loud Shaz and I cover our ears. Useful Kim leans over and whispers, “I love the sound of excited customers.”
Orange Lorna’s mother, Irene, has just walked in, modelling the darkest shade of false tan Useful Kim has to offer.
No one has come to support me. Tears prick my eyes. Marcus was supposed to be here, but he thinks I am having an affair with Martin. Brian promised he would bring the boys and Matilda told me she’d come.
We have been called for our audition. Useful Kim proudly stands and claps as Shaz, Orange Lorna and I make our way down a long corridor towards the audition room.
“Go get us a record deal Diamanté Girls” yells Trevor, from his false tan stand, before returning to a tear stained member of the ‘Pop Chicks’ , who put some on in the toilets and now looks like a bronze statue.
My legs feel like jelly as I totter along behind Orange Lorna on her crutches. Shaz is leading the way in front.
One of my stiletto heels has got caught on a piece of carpet. To my horror I am now sailing into the air. “HELP!”
The last thing I hear is Orange Lorna shriek as I fly into someone’s powerful muscular arms.
Before I have time to look at who has saved me from breaking my neck, I hear Marcus at the other end of the corridor. “Roxy…oh….”
I turn to face the hero who is holding me. Hugo Rocco’s face breaks into a grin as he places me back down on the carpet. “Well…hello there,” he says in a deep sexy voice.
Our singing audition is about to start and I am feeling emotional. Nothing has gone right for me.
Marcus turned up at the wrong moment and saw me accidentally fall into the tanned arms of music industry mogul and ‘Search For A Star’ judge Hugo Rocco. The last I saw of Marcus was him striding away into the waiting area, with a miserable look on his face.
I can’t believe we are on the verge of splitting up due to a misspelt tattoo and a loose strand of carpet, which caused me to fall into the arms of a gorgeous tanned celebrity.
No one else has turned up to support me which has broken my heart.
Hugo Rocco’s mesmerizing brown eyes are locked onto me, like two heat seeking missiles. A strange tingling sensation has taken hold of my body.
The two female judges are sat staring in horror at the colour of Orange Lorna’s tan.
Shaz and Orange Lorna have started to sing the opening verse of Banarama’s hit, ‘Venus’.
Even though my mouth is open, nothing is coming out.
There will be more Roxy next week!