New Diary of Roxy Collins Part 13 Night Out With Mad Cousin #ASMSG #Romance

#romance #RomCom #Comedy

Welcome to New The Diary of Roxy Collins – The Serious Relationship Series.

Every Thursday you can read Roxy’s latest diary entry.

They record the emotional highs and lows of her new serious relationship with Marcus, the man of her dreams. He lives on the posh side of town, drives a flash car and doesn’t mind her wild kids or the wobbly bits on her hips and thighs. Has Roxy finally found true love?

How will their new relationship survive when Roxy enters the TV talent show ‘Search For a Star?

Friday

7.45 P.M.

Cousin Mags and I are on a girlie night out.

Vince and Mags have split up again for the hundredth time this year.

“I don’t want to be restricted to one man in my life,” says Mags, placing down a tray of expensive looking cocktails onto our table. “I am a free spirit, Roxy.”

I am more concerned about the cost of the night out, than Mags’s latest approach to relationships. “Mags, I can’t afford a night out and I certainly can’t stretch to cocktails.”

Mags laughs. “Calm down. The family clubbed together for us to have a night out.”

“What?” I gasp.

“They’ve all chipped in and asked me to talk some sense into you about the TV shows and your love life.”

I stare at my blonde cousin, clad in a minuscule black shimmery dress, checking her Tinder app.

“You?”

I can’t believe the family have selected Mags to talk some sense into me. Mags, my hell raising cousin, who is best known for leaving Vince at the altar, climbing out of a hotel window and running away to Greece. Only to be brought back home by me, a month later, after realising she still loved Vince.

Mags gives me a sugary smile. “Roxy, you need to forget about Marcus. You don’t need a serious relationship at this stage in your pop career.”

I look away. The mention of his name makes my chest ache.

“Let’s get pissed and have a good time!” shouts Mags, raising her cocktail. “I am sooooo over Vince!”

I groan and sip my Gimlet cocktail. This is a familiar ritual with Mags and is one which has been going on for years. She dramatically splits from poor Vince, goes wild, causes chaos and then realises she has made a big mistake. They get back together and then a few months later it happens again.

We all feel sorry for Vince and secretly wish he’d stand up to Mags, but you only have to watch him gaze longingly at her to know he’s wrapped around her little manicured finger.

“Come on, Roxy, we are two beautiful, thirty something, free spirits who need to party!”

I do worry when my cousin talks about the need to party. Her definition of partying is very different to mine.

8.45 P.M. 

“More cocktails!” cries Mags, handing me a vibrant coloured tall glass with crackling ice.

I am still struggling to get into a ‘girlie night out’ mood. Marcus’s face won’t get out of my mind.

“Stop thinking about him, Roxy!” shouts Mags, looking around the bar. “We need to have some fun.”

I watch as my cousin stands up and starts to wave at two men having a quiet drink on the table opposite.

“Sit down, Mags!” I try to grab her arm.

She flicks her long blonde hair, squeals and totters over to introduce herself.

8.56 P.M. 

“Hi,” says the man, plonking himself down next to me at our table, “my name is Gary and that’s my mate, Tim.”

We both turn to see Mags sit herself on Tim’s lap and ruffle his blonde hair.

I fight the urge to leave and go home. The last place I want to be tonight is stuck in a bar with my crazy cousin.

If the man next to me thinks I am in the mood for romance he can think again.

“Tim’s single,” explains Gary, bringing his pint of beer to his lips.

“And you?” I ask, before knocking back my Peach Martini.

Gary grins and points to his wedding ring. “Happily married. Oh and by the way, my lap is out-of-bounds.”

I giggle at his dry tone and a wave of relief passes over me. There’s nothing worse than spending a night out watching your randy cousin devour some poor individual and having the friend of the individual think you will soon do the same to them.

Gary is in his late thirties, with a thick patch of brown hair and sea blue eyes. “So, what’s your name?” He gestures towards me with his pint.

“Roxy Collins. Nice to meet you, Gary.”

He points towards Tim who is now kissing Mags. “Why do I get the feeling this is not going to end well?”

I laugh at Gary’s dry tone. “She’s my cousin, Mags. Bit of a wild one.”

“What about you, Roxy Collins?”

I exhale loudly. “My relationship ended a week ago and I still feel sad.”

Gary casts me a look of concern. “Oh dear, that doesn’t sound good. My wife says I am a good listener, so fire away, if you want to talk about it.”

8.58 P.M.

When telling someone my problems I like to start at the beginning.

“I was sixteen when I met Jon.”

9.03 P.M.

“Jon always commented on my bedroom posters of male pop stars. He claimed he had the hots for George Michael too. I didn’t think anything of it.”

I drain my glass.

9.07 P.M.

“He left me for a butcher from Southampton. Do you want to know something, Gary, I couldn’t compete with a hairy chest and a stubbly chin.”

Mags passes me another drink.

9.18 P.M.

“Rob had his own tropical fish business and a big van. Gary, do you know I have a thing for men with big vans?”

I take a gulp of my drink and carry on.

9.24 P.M.

“Rob left me for the blonde barmaid in our local pub. Gary, it was terrible.”

9.31 P.M.

“During an office Christmas party I snogged a senior manager at work called Marcus, over a photocopier.”

I knock back a whisky chaser which Mags has just bought me.

“It got awkward because the photocopier started taking pictures of my fat bottom, Gary. Can you imagine how awkward it was for me the next morning denying to an office junior that the hundred photocopies lying around were not of my bottom.”

9.45 P.M.

“I met Dan in the sea. Gary, he saved me from drowning in a string bikini.”

I drain my drink and carry on.

“Dan had an evil female best friend called Clara. Gary, do you have a female best friend?”

9.54 P.M.

“So, when my relationship with Dan ended, I found myself drawn to Marcus.”

I think Gary is regretting encouraging me to talk about my relationship problems. His eyes have glazed over and he’s slumped over the table.

“Roxy, another Gimlet,” squeals Mags, handing me yet another drink.

My cousin resumes her position on Tim’s lap. “Now then, Vince, where were we?”

Tim casts her an odd look. “I’m Tim, not Vince.”

Mags laughs. “Calm down, Vince, oops I mean Tim.”

I look away quickly and continue with giving Gary a detailed account of my love life since being a teenager.

10.15 P.M.

“Gary,” I say, noticing his eyes have closed. “What do you think I should do?”

He sits up with surprise and stifles a yawn. “So, which one do you like?”

“Have you been asleep, Gary?”

I giggle as he rubs his eyes. “It was a lot of info to process, Roxy.”

Mags is shaking my arm. “Roxy, the karaoke booth is calling us.”

We both stagger across the bar.

10.25 P.M.

“Cousins are doing it for themselves!”

We are both screaming a revised version of the Eurythmics classic hit, Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves.

10.48 P.M.

“You have quite a voice, Roxy,” says Gary, passing me my drink. “did Marcus like you singing?”

I nod. “He liked me to sing, but I don’t think he could handle the singing competition. He didn’t like all the attention I gave Hugo Rocco.”

Gary scratches his head. “If things had been the other way round, Marcus being part of a TV talent show, how would you have reacted?”

Struggling to contain my hiccups I try to imagine Marcus being on ‘Search For a Star.’ Given his handsome face, sculptured hair and athletic figure he would have had a huge female fan following. My stomach clenches at the thought of Marcus being mobbed by hundreds of hysterical females. If one of the female judges had taken a shine to him I would have been devastated.

“I would have struggled too.” The words tumble out of my mouth. My heart starts to pound.

Gary smiled. “Roxy, I think you are still crazy about Marcus. Why don’t you try to salvage it?”

I look at him. “Get back with Marcus?”

Gary nods. “Me and the wife split up for a few weeks before we got married. We got back together as we knew we couldn’t live without each other. But we knew we had to work at it.”

“That’s sweet.”

“I asked her to marry me the night we got back together.” Gary’s face lights up.

I imagine Marcus proposing to me after we get back together.

“But don’t give up the talent show. Make you and Marcus work and chase your dreams at the same time.”

The thought of getting back with Marcus fills me with drunken euphoria.

Yes, this is what I need to do. I love Marcus.

“Relationships take a bit of work and a lot of compromise, Roxy.”

“Gary, you are my relationship counsellor.”

We clink glasses.

Mags is tugging on my arm. “I need to go to the loo,” she drunkenly slurs.

11.10 P.M.

“I still love Vince,” sobs Mags, from inside the toilet cubicle. “That bloke Tim is not my Vince. Not matter how hard I try, Vince is always on my mind.”

I groan and rest my head against the toilet door. “Thought you were a free spirit?”

Mags wails fill the air. “I just want my Vince back.”

Gary’s words echo inside my mind. “I still love Marcus,” I say, surprising myself. A swarm of butterflies enter my chest.

The toilet door is yanked open by Mags. “Oh Roxy, what are we going to do?”

“I don’t know but I STILL LOVE MARCUS!” I shout, raising my arms.

“I STILL LOVE VINCE!” screams Mags, before collapsing in a drunken heap on the floor.

I grip onto the sink as the room starts to sway. 

11.23 P.M.
“It was nice meeting you, Roxy Collins,” says Gary, as Mags frantically hails down a taxi cab.

I turn to him and plant a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, Gary.”

He blushes and rubs away my lipstick mark. “Don’t want the wife getting any ideas.”

“She’s a lucky woman,” I say, watching a cab pull up. “Goodbye, Gary.”

“Good luck with Marcus. I will vote for you on TV!”

11.34 P.M.

“Will Marcus still be awake?” asks Mags, slumped against me in the back of the cab.

My heart starts to gallop as the taxi enters Marcus’s street. “He’ll probably be a bit grumpy with me for waking him up, but I can win him round. Will Vince still be awake?”

Mags giggles. “I have already text him to say we are getting back together. He’s waiting up for me.”

As the taxi cab pulls up outside Marcus’s large detached house Mags squeals. “Go get him, Roxy!”

“But what will the family say?” I put my hand on the door handle. “They clubbed together so we could go out.”

Mags shrugs. “Seriously, I don’t know why they chose me to talk some sense into you, Roxy.”

As I open the cab door another taxi pulls up alongside ours. The passengers quickly exit and as their cab pulls away I gasp.

Marcus is ushering an attractive woman towards his house.

He looks up and spots me hanging out of the cab.

“Come on Marcus,” cries the woman. 

My eyes quickly fill up with tears and pain shoots across my chest.

Mags pulls me back in the cab and orders the taxi to drive.

She squeezes my hand. “Come on, Roxy, this is a sign. You have to move on.”

“But I don’t want to move on,” I whimper.

“Marcus has moved on. It’s over, Roxy. You can concentrate on your pop career.”

I wipe away an army of tears.

Mags leans her head on my shoulder. “The family should organise more nights out for us.”

There will be more from Roxy next week.

One of my blog readers – Gary from Fiction Is Food wanted to appear in a Roxy diary entry. So this week I created a Gary character for my blogging and writing friend, Gary. Hope you like it, Gary!

If anyone else would like to appear in a Roxy diary entry, please let me know. 

Just think if Roxy ever became famous (unlikely, but we can all dream) you can say you appeared in it. Sigh! 

Have a great day! 


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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

11 thoughts on “New Diary of Roxy Collins Part 13 Night Out With Mad Cousin #ASMSG #Romance

  1. OMG; Ritu wants a singing part.. that will end in disaster. I feel it in my bones already!! Roxy and Ritu, The Two R’s…. eek.

    Now, this wench that is with young Marcus… I’m plugging for sister who is there to console him for he is slipping from the path and under a number 22 bus filled with alcohol. I feel she met up with him earlier and was staggered at the unkempt stubble man with bleary no sleep eyes and is, in fact my cousin, doing a Gary job on him.

    “Come on Marcus!” was the language of choice as wobbling drunk and dishevelled was no time to be speaking to his beloved Roxy. Clearly she has seen this and may have connections with Mystic Clive who held a private séance after bumping into them in a chip shop.

    Pure speculation of course…but sister…has to be sister…or best friend who happens to be les bien, to coin a play on words, and thus entirely safe.

    I do rather like the relationship councillor role mind; feel free to visit that pub more, and I was merely resting my eyes. One can’t listen intently in a pub full of noise without applying concentration tactics; ordinarily these are dark sunglasses and such eyelid flickering’s go unnoticed.

    Loved it Lucy x

      1. Sorry, it all just spilled out… I’ve been told I should try humour writing!!

        Mind you, one has to enter the Roxy mind set to reply to these posts…its just seems to be the natural order of things. It’s quite a relief to see my comments make you smile too 🙂

        Can we not guess while Ritu is away…she writes Curry Lit…so I’m thinking Bollywood 😉

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