New Roxy Collins Diary Entry: Meeting Mystic Clive #ASMSG #Relationships #beyourself

#romance #RomCom #Comedy

Welcome to the Diary of Roxy CollinsThe Serious Relationship Series.

Every Thursday you can read Roxy’s latest diary entry.

What has happened so far?

Roxy, a thirty something, single mother, of three spirited children, is looking for love. She wants to find someone who will accept her chaotic life and crazy ways.

Lady luck has not been on Roxy’s side when it comes to men. Her first partner, Jon, informed her he was gay, whilst she was pregnant with their daughter, Matilda. Her second partner, Rob, father to Harry and Toby, ran off with the local barmaid, leaving Roxy destitute with three children. Luckily Brian, her 68-year-old landlord and emotional rock in life let her rent his late mother’s house.

Roxy is currently pregnant with her fourth child to boyfriend, Marcus. They finally got together after a series of communication mishaps and situations fuelled by Roxy’s runaway emotions.

Roxy and her kids have moved into Marcus’s big house on the expensive side of town.

Last week Roxy realised she had made a mistake by pulling out of the ‘Search For a Star’ singing contest. She chose her relationship with Marcus over her singing dreams.

Friday

9.23 A.M.

Mystic Clive, my favourite astrologer, has just tweeted to say he will be in London tomorrow and is keen to meet his horoscope fans.

The thought of meeting my favourite astrologer in real life fills me with excitement.

Mystic Clive has played a big part of my life over recent years. It’s a daily ritual of mine to check his Gemini prediction on Twitter.

Even though I disagree with the majority of his horoscope predictions they always have a strange bearing on my life.

Before Rob confessed to his affair with the blonde barmaid it was Mystic Clive who said, ‘be suspicious, Gemini, ask difficult questions!’

When Rob asked me and the kids to leave, as he wanted to move his new barmaid girlfriend into our house it was Mystic Clive who said, ‘don’t cry today Gemini, stay strong and remember how great you are!’

When Dan was worrying me with his friendship with evil Clara, it was Mystic Clive who said, ‘enjoy some cake today, Gemini.’ I did enjoy cake, I shoved it in Clara’s face.

Plus Mystic Clive is always so polite when I use my #nochance and #rubbishhoroscope hashtags within my tweets.

Mystic Clive’s Twitter profile pic, features him in a pink glittery suit, giving the camera a little wave. It always makes me smile.

I am sat at my office desk texting Marcus about whether he fancies a trip to London tomorrow.

His response brings on a frown. 

You’re pregnant, Roxy. Best steer clear of London, too many crowds and I think you need to stop this reliance on Mystic Clive for guidance – not healthy.’

“What’s up with you?” asks Bev, frantically peeling a large orange.

I let out a sigh. “Mystic Clive has organised a meet up with his fans. I won’t be going.”

Bev stops peeling her orange and turns to me. “Why not?”

“Marcus says I shouldn’t go to London because I am pregnant and I need to stop relying on Mystic Clive for life guidance.’

Bev’s bushy eyebrows knit together in a flash and her beady brown eyes narrow. “This is a joke – right? I mean you are still going to see Mystic Clive?”

I look at her in surprise as she wedges a giant orange segment into her mouth.

Whilst she struggles to swallow the whole segment and continue with our conversation I read Marcus’s text again.

“Roxy, are you still going to meet Mystic Clive?” Bev offers me a segment of orange.

I refuse her offer and shrug my shoulders. “Maybe Marcus is right about the crowds in London, I mean I am 14 weeks pregnant?”

“Some women run marathons whilst pregnant.” Bev shakes her head and stuffs another segment into her mouth.

I wait for her to swallow the orange and wipe her dribbling chin.

“What has it got to do with Marcus if you look to Mystic Clive for life guidance?” asks Bev, sucking orange juice from each of her fingers.

After a sigh I shrug my shoulders. “Maybe he has a point? I shouldn’t pay so much attention to Mystic Clive’s tweets.”

Bev gasps. “But Mystic Clive has got you through some dark days, Roxy.”

I flick my eyes to my computer.

“What has happened to you, Roxy Collins?”

I turn and frown at Bev. “What do you mean?”

Bev starts peeling a second orange. “This serious relationship has changed you. Before Marcus came along you made your own decisions and you would NOT have pulled out of a TV singing competition. You also would have jumped at the chance to go meet Mystic Clive.”

“All I have ever wanted is a serious relationship with someone like Marcus, Bev. He makes up for all the losers I have dated and he offers my children some stability.”

Bev rolls her eyes at me. “You don’t have to change who you are, Roxy. Darren, my ex, tried to stop me eating so many oranges but I stood my ground. I told him oranges would always play a big role in my life and if I wanted to eat them in bed during a romantic evening I would.”

“You eat oranges in bed?”

Bev nods. “I have an orange before and after love-making, Roxy.”

Martin, my line manager looks up from his stapling and gives Bev an odd look.

My eyes are drawn to the orange juice and pip mess Bev has made on her desk.

Bev turns to me. “Be yourself, Roxy!”

10.45 A.M.

Marcus has rung to say he wants me to meet his friend, Rupert, tomorrow.

Rupert has a sales office which needs an admin assistant and Marcus thinks this would be a better job for me than working in Shaz’s beauty salon.

Bev is finishing her third orange. She overheard our conversation. “Don’t tell me, Marcus is trying to organise a job for you.”

I nod. “He wants me to work closer to his office so he can keep an eye on me.”

Bev grimaces. “Oh my god, Marcus is a control freak!”

I run my hands through my hair and let out a long stream of air. “Shaz offered me a job in her new beauty salon. Marcus doesn’t like the area, rough end of town and he thinks it isn’t a serious business venture.”

Bev chews on her lip. “I don’t understand why you are letting him influence you so much.”

I shake my head. “Bev, I am the wrong side of thirty, soon I will have four kids, I am being made redundant and I have no money. Kind men like Marcus don’t come around very often.”

Bev raises her bushy eyebrows at me and turns back to her computer.

6.45 P.M.

“What time shall I tell Rupert we’ll meet him for a coffee?” asks Marcus. He’s stood at the other side of the diner with his phone.

Inside my head I am screaming, ‘ I WANT TO GO MEET MYSTIC CLIVE!’

“Roxy, are you listening to me?”

I take a deep breath. “Marcus, I want to go meet Mystic Clive. Have some fun.”

He groans and puts down his phone. “Oh for goodness sake, Roxy, we’ve talked about this! You don’t need life advice from some grinning idiot in a pink suit!”

Irritation prickles my cheeks. “He’s not a grinning idiot!”

Marcus comes over to me and places his hands on my shoulders. “Roxy, you’re tired and emotional. Come on sit down, all this stress is not good for the baby.”

Maybe I am tired and emotional? I have been yawning a lot today.

“It’s not wise going to London in your condition. You look really pale tonight. I think you should go to bed early and then we can meet Rupert tomorrow.”

7.56 P.M.

Marcus has run me a warm bubble bath. He’s downstairs arranging our coffee with Rupert.

I am sat on the loo, staring at Mystic Clive’s tweet about his catch up.

Other twitter fans are going, people who I tweet and retweet. Mystic Clive fans such as FluffyFiona123, who is a mad Leo and always disagrees with Mystic Clive’s predictions. We often retweet each other’s tweets about our horoscopes and add amusing GIFs.

SexybootsGloria is going too, she’s a funny Scorpio who always wants dating advice from Mystic Clive. Once she even tweeted two Male dating profiles so Mystic Clive could tell her which one a true Scorpio would go for. Her tweets are hilarious and I would love to meet her in person.

It would be so much fun to go to London for the day and meet everyone.

But as Marcus said, whilst filling up the bath, I have to stop being selfish and start thinking about the baby, about ‘us’ and this guy Rupert who is going out of his way to hire me.

Maybe I am being selfish?

I don’t want to work in Rupert’s office. I want to work for Shaz. I also want to go to London.

9.56 P.M.

Marcus has gone to sleep in a mood.

Once again we tried to have some romance but my head wasn’t in it. All I could think about was meeting up with Mystic Clive and his horoscope gang.

Saturday

2.34 A.M.

I am wide awake with a brain filled with swirling thoughts.

A door creaks on the landing. It sounds like Matilda’s door.

I get out of bed and catch Matilda waving goodbye to Freddy, the neighbour’s son, who is tucking in his shirt and hurrying downstairs.

“Run Freddy run!” hisses Matilda as I appear on the landing.

Before I can get to the stairs the front door opens and then closes.

“Morning, Mam!” says Matilda, brightly. “Freddy and I were….umm…studying!”

“Is there something going on with you and Freddy?”

Matilda laughs. “No way! I’m not interesting in dating a rich geeky lad like Freddy, who has a ridiculous amount of money in his savings account, has never had a girlfriend before and falls in love easily.”

I cast her a suspicious look.

“Why are you up at this hour?” She loops a long strand of hair around her finger.

“I want to go meet Mystic Clive but Marcus doesn’t want me to go. Its no problem, I think I will stay here.”

Matilda rolls her eyes. “Mam, you’ve really changed.”

This is the second time I have heard this phrase.

“What do you mean?”

She yawns. “Really sensible and dull.”

“Dull?” I hiss. “In what way?”

Matilda gestures towards my bedroom. “You listen to him far too much. Don’t get me wrong I like Marcus but he seems to think you will do what he wants.”

I can feel my heart thumping against my chest.

“Mam, you’ve brought me up to have my own opinions and do my own thing…”

I let out a nervous laugh. “Not sure that was the best policy, Matilda”.

“Be yourself, Mam.”

6.45 A.M.

Marcus is still asleep. I am sat staring at my phone. Mystic Clive has just tweeted his Gemini horoscope. It reads, ‘break free today, Gemini!’

This is a sign.

I have to break free and go meet Mystic Clive.

Toby and Harry are with their dad for the weekend and Matilda is going to Freddy’s house for the day so I have no child responsibilities.

There is money in my bank account. The money from my EBay dress sales has come through.

I have to go to London.

Marcus won’t be happy but this is something I have to do for me.

7.34 A.M.

“Roxy, where are you going?” asks a sleepy Marcus. He’s woken up to find me sat at my dressing table putting on my mascara.

“London.”

He sits up in bed. “No, Roxy, I don’t want you to go.”

“Sorry, Marcus but this is something I want to do.”

He throws back the duvet. “You’re pregnant.”

“So – when has that stopped anyone?”

“Please stop this madness, Roxy.”

7.56 A.M.

I have left the house and I am hurrying to the bus stop.

A huge wave of excitement is building up inside of me. I am breaking free!

9.02 A.M.

Marcus has text me three times to tell me we need to talk about my behaviour.

I lean my head back against the train seat and stare out of the window. A year ago all I wanted was to be in a serious relationship.

Now that I am in one with a solvent, attractive and sensible man I just want to escape.

10.56 A.M.

Mystic Clive stands as I enter the bar. His pink glittery suit looks amazing.

It’s not the biggest event I have been to, he’s surrounded by five excitable women and a young man.

Mystic Clive grins and outstretches his arms. “My favourite Gemini, Roxy Collins!”

Two of the women shriek. One jumps up and squeals, “OMG Roxy Collins, it’s me Fluffy Fiona 123!”

A huge smile spreads across my face. “OMG Fluffy Fiona 123 – nice to meet you!”

A warm glow spreads quickly through me.

I think I am going to enjoy myself today.

There will be more from Roxy next week. 

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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

8 thoughts on “New Roxy Collins Diary Entry: Meeting Mystic Clive #ASMSG #Relationships #beyourself

  1. Ye Gods, I’m away for a write-a-thon, recovering from a NaNo hangover while trying to finish my novel, miss a few weeks and WTF! Roxy is heading at submissive housewife under directions of Marcus who’s turning into a numpty. Does he know folk fly all over at 14 weeks? Sheesh, you can tell my colleagues have not been knocking his head about saying “Hello, great catch is Roxy, stop being a t£&@.”

    A happy fun pregnancy is going to make for a healthy child. Being born to a grim mum who loses herself is going to bring in insecurity that might last a lifetime. Ask Mystic Clive on that one, forecast-me-now. Social moots are Roxy, although take no heed of oranges before and after romance. That needs counselling. Not re healthy eating, but time and place type of thing. Sounds very much like sheet washing is done by the none orange eater there methinks.

    I would advocate a more calm social venture though. If memory serves there is a high incidence of stumbling kisses and dodgy tattoos. Fluffy Fiona sounds just the sort to appeal to “good idea at the time” etiquettes. I know one shouldn’t judge too early, but handles speak volumes.

    I’ve got my eye on Clive too…just saying….not one to use for a Stumble Upon!

    As for Marcus, mate…get thee to the pub, I need a word you daft sod!

    Excellent Lucy 😊

      1. I did the same last year sadly. NaNo tends to point out I can’t really do social media AND write books. It’s one or the other. I’m currently finishing the NaNo project. Hit 78K words yesterday and I’m about to start the last chapter as the ending is kicking off. Might be one after that just to conclude the fall out! Just had to come and see what Roxy was up to!

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