Here’s Roxy’s latest diary entry. Roxy is a thirty something, single mother, looking for her Prince Charming.
She has four kids (Matilda, 19, Harry, 12, Toby 10 & Hope 18 months), works in her mother’s coffee shop and has some wobbly bits on her hips and thighs, which no diet can get rid of.
Last week Roxy had finally heard from music industry producer Hugo Rocco. He had arranged a meeting to discuss turning her into an international singing star.
The day before the big meeting, things didn’t go according to plan; Great Aunt Vera was taken in for questioning over a murder at her nursing home, Matilda ran off to France with one of Tom’s (Roxy’s boyfriend) farm workers and Roxy found a little piece of happiness singing with a local pub band.
Here is today’s diary entry:
The day of my life changing meeting with Hugo Rocco, famous music and TV talent show producer, has started much earlier than I expected.
Eighteenth month old daughter, Hope, has a terrible cough, Harry, my thirteen year old son, is being sick into a bowl by his bed and I can’t get in touch with Matilda, my nineteen year old, who has run off to France, with one of Tom’s farm workers.
Being up at this time with two sick children has proved interesting for a number of reasons.
Here is a list of the things I didn’t expect to see at 3.23 A.M. in my own house, which I share with my mother and my children:
- The bloke, who owns the local electrical shop, sneaking out of my mother’s bedroom, dressed as a naked butler, complete with little black bow tie, a tiny apron, silver tray and nothing else. He yelped as he caught sight of me and then dived back inside my mother’s bedroom. Her shrieks of laughter can probably be heard down the street.
- A boyfriend of mine HELPING me out by changing Harry’s sick bowl and going downstairs to get Calpol for Hope. Seriously in all my years of dating this is a welcomed sight!
- Toby, my youngest son, sleep walking and muttering to himself that Malcolm [imaginary friend] is going to somehow get Great Aunt Vera off the hook for murder and he can then use the situation for his next school project.
*Mental note – check Toby’s school project before he submits it, as Great Aunt Vera will not appreciate being the subject of Toby’s Powerpoint slide show and parents evening is at the end of the month.*
Things are embarrassing enough with his teacher, as his last school project was titled, ‘Ways In Which My Mother Can Attract More Traffic To Her Twenty Three Online Dating Sites.’ I still don’t know why he had to use a number in the title.
His teacher does not need to read his next project titled, ‘How My Imaginary Friend Got My Great Aunt Off a Murder Charge.’
Just finished a stressful text conversation with Matilda, who is waiting to board a ferry. She wants me to transfer some money, as running away for love, to France, is more expensive than she first thought. Plus she didn’t realise how little farm workers were paid and now wishes she’d asked her lover for a copy of his bank statements before heading for the sunset, or in her case, Calais.
Hope and Harry are poorly, Tom’s had to leave to go sort out his farm and my mother is claiming she has woken up with a migraine.
No one has seen the bloke from the electrical shop leave, so I’m assuming he’s still in there nursing her. Still not sure why he felt the need to dress up as a naked butler.
Add ‘naked butlers’ to the very long list of things and people who have annoyed me.
There is no one to sort out the coffee shop and more importantly, I have no one to look after my poorly kids, whilst I go meet with Hugo Rocco.
Hope is stuck to my hip. Every time I put her down she cries. Her cheeks are rosy red and she sounds terrible when she coughs. Harry is asleep on the sofa.
Currently pacing up and down the living room, with a strained, facial expression, wondering what the hell I am going to do about today.
Why does motherhood always feel the need to test me on important life changing days?
A text has arrived from Bryan, the lead guitarist of the ‘Rocking Stones’ pub band, I sang with last night.
Oh my goodness he wants me to join the band! He and the other band members had the best time with me singing last night. Mick, on piano, said I was the first singer they’ve had who can actually sing and Pete said, a record number of regulars have signed up for the band’s new mailing list.
A happy memory from the pub flashes up in my mind and a big smile replaces my dark frown. Singing my heart out on a makeshift pub stage with Bryan, Pete and Mick was amazing. All the pub regulars were dancing (including my own little family) and for a few hours I forgot all about my troubles.
Second text from Bryan. He thinks we should be doing some Cher covers at the weekend.
I have a plan.
Harry has stopped being sick. Bless his heart, he does not want me to miss out on today. So, he has agreed to come with me to my life changing meeting and sit outside with Hope, whilst I talk about finding international singing fame with Hugo Rocco.
Try to ignore huge cloud of mother guilt for making my children come with me when they are sick.
Tom has just text me to ask how the kids are, wish me good luck and to say that he’s fully supportive of my singing dreams. His text sends a tear trickling down my cheek. He’s the first boyfriend to actually care about my children and to be supportive of my life dreams.
*Mental note – dedicate a song to him, when I sing next with the ‘Rocking Stones.*
Squealing at the thought of being a singer in a band and belting out Cher hits, has made Hope cry.
Must try to contain my excitement.
I didn’t plan on arriving at the recording studios, flustered, red-faced and carrying a screaming toddler, but I am afraid Hugo Rocco is going to have to take me as he finds me.
Harry and I try to release Hope from me, but it’s no use. Her piercing scream makes a glamorous young woman on reception cast us a frightened stare.
“I was thinking of having a baby, but now I’m not so sure,” I hear her mutter to someone on the phone.
As Harry is looking pale again, I have decided that both he and Hope will have to join the life changing meeting and get involved with finding me international singing fame.
Hugo Rocco doesn’t seem impressed. Harry has just vomited into his designer waste paper bin, Hope won’t stop crying and I am so exhausted, I can’t muster the energy to talk, let alone sing.
Finding international singing fame sounds like hard work.
Hugo Rocco is giving me a lengthy talk about how many hours will be needed in the recording studio.
There is a lump of vomit on the carpet. Hugo Rocco must have missed it in the clean up operation. I can’t take my eyes off it. Whilst he’s busy talking, I am gesturing towards the carpet. For goodness sake, why can’t a famous music and TV talent show producer not clean up sick properly?
Hugo Rocco is staring at me. “Have you got something wrong with your neck, Roxy?”
Hope has stopped crying and has nestled into me. Harry is asleep with his warm head against my shoulder. I can’t stop looking at them both and wishing we were all curled up on the sofa, in our pyjamas.
Hugo Rocco is rattling on about the hectic life of an international artist and doesn’t know I stopped listening to him ages ago.
Pull my poorly babies closer to me and think about how singing with the ‘Rocking Stones’ actually gives me all that I have craved; to entertain and sing for people I know.
The thought of singing with Bryan, Pete and Mick is actually more appealing than spending weeks in a recording studio with a load of people I don’t know.
“Bryan has said I can wear a Cher wig,” I say out loud, forgetting I am in a business meeting.
“Roxy, who is Bryan?”
Think about how Matilda needs me, even though she’s on a ferry to France with her new love and how Toby needs me with his choice of thought-provoking topics for school projects.
“How can I tend to my little flock if I am holed up in some recording studio?”
“Roxy, what was that?” Hugo Rocco is staring at me.
Make life changing decision whilst Hugo Rocco struts around his office, pointing at pictures of famous recording artists.
“My little ones need me more than I need international singing fame.”
“You need to stop mumbling,” says a bewildered Hugo Rocco.
“Hugo, I’ve changed my mind about international singing fame,” I announce, making him sit up upright.
“Sorry for wasting your time, but I needed to come here today to realise what’s important to me,” I explain. “Right now, I want to nurse these two cherubs back to health, sort out my eldest daughter, who has run off to France, check my youngest son’s homework, see my lovely boyfriend, get my Great Aunt Vera off the hook for a murder charge and sing at the weekend with my local pub band.”
Hugo Rocco’s mouth has fallen open and for the first time in the entire meeting he’s speechless.
On the sofa with Hope, Harry, Toby, who has come from school, and Tom. We are all curled up under a duvet, watching a Disney film.
“You didn’t fancy being a pop star then?” Tom asks, draping his arm across my shoulders.
Shaking my head I say, “everything I need in life is right here, apart from Matilda of course.”
Toby turns to face me. “When can Malcolm [imaginary friend] talk to Great Aunt Vera about the murder? He has an interesting new lead.”
There will be more Roxy next week!