If you think being a writer or an author is difficult, please spare a thought to your husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend!
Now that I have published my debut romance novel, Instructions For Falling In Love Again, this is a subject I now feel strongly about.
Our loved ones deserve recognition!
It can’t be easy loving a writer.
You have to sit and watch the person you love spend their entire day editing the hell out of a paragraph.
You have to pretend to listen and be interested as your loved one talks plot twists in the wine aisle of the supermarket.
You have to keep passing your beloved tissues after the fictional death of a much loved character.
You have to ignore your loved one murmuring the name of a handsome main character in their sleep.
Standing here, clutching my book and thinking about everything I went through to get it out into the world, all I can think about is…it must be tough for my loved one!
I think we can all agree on this, the writer’s other half is a special human being with many interesting qualities.
So, I have given some thought to what their job description might look like:
Job: Vacancy: The Writer’s Other Half
About The Role:
An exciting romantic opportunity has arisen for a self motivated, patient and enthusiastic individual to help support and love a writer throughout their literary journey.
Can change and will be dependent upon:
- The emotional state of the writer. Some writers might require more emotional support than others.
- The stage the writer is at with their creative project. Extra hours will be required if the writer is going through a bad patch of writer’s block or if they have been on the receiving end of some unexpected negative criticism.
- The writer’s love of social media. Hours will vary according to the peaks and troughs of the writer’s social media accounts. Must be prepared for all communication to stop if the writer’s work is being tweeted a lot. On the other hand they must be willing to put in the extra hours when their writer has fallen out with Twitter.
- The job will be based at home with the writer.
Key Duties / Responsibilities:
- Must struggle to accept that tweeting is important writer work.
- Must be able to wait for hours outside a bookshop (with the kids and dog) while your writer struggles to find a book to read for pleasure.
- Must be able to multi task – watch the sport and at the same time engage in weird conversations. Must not be phased by interesting topics such as romantic cliffhangers, unusual murder weapons, falling in love with ghosts, issues faced with getting intimate with another astronaut in space, finding love while climbing up a dangerous mountain and the dating problems faced by Merfolk.
- Must be able to keep the cupboards stocked with chocolate and ensure there is a constant supply of cheese in the fridge while your writer is going through episodes of fictional trauma.
- Must possess a basic knowledge of your writer’s work which will include the name of one character (which you must keep repeating in conversations to signal to your writer you are interested) and a rough idea of what happens at the end.
- Must be able to accept the fact that your writer’s favourite pet does not possess a basic knowledge of your writer’s work but still gets more hugs and cuddles than you.
- Must accept that pillow talk is going to include an assessment of your writer’s latest idea for a future bestseller. You will be experienced enough to know that this conversation will be one-sided and any romance that follows will depend on the changes in your facial expressions and the number of your gasps of delight while your writer explains the premise.
- Must be willing to accept the house pecking order: your writer, the kids, your writer’s fictional characters (an array of needy and attention seeking invisible people), your writer’s favourite pet, your writer’s mother, the other pets and finally you. Harsh but true.
- Must be able to step in with the children, pets, relatives and housework if your writer is in the middle of a writing binge and cannot be disturbed.
- Must be able to bring your emotional writer back down to reality by reminding them that no one died whilst they read their first draft. Yes it was a total clanger of a draft but no one died.
- Must be able to accept that advising your writer’s draft novel needs more work could lead to divorce.
- Must be willing to act out ALL scenes your writer is struggling with.
- You will be an expert at walking on eggshells.
- Your tea and coffee making skills will be world class.
- You will be a professional at keeping a biscuit tin well stocked.
- You will have selective hearing and be able to go deaf when your writer is trying to tell you about their issues with their book’s opening paragraph.
- You will be an expert in looking for positives in a literary rejection crisis.
- You won’t understand what all the fuss is about with writing. This is a key skill!
- You will excel at cheerleading from the sofa.
- You will enjoy celebrating what seem like small achievements to you but to the writer they will be huge, like finishing a first draft, the end of writer’s block and getting a few re-tweets on their latest blog post.
- Paid via the salary of love, clean shirts and the occasional pint down the pub ❤️
- You might get a line dedicated to you in the acknowledgements section of your writer’s novel.
- You will get the kudos of saying you are romantically linked to a writer. Sigh! Doesn’t that sound great?
- You will never be short of reading material.
- Your life will never be dull!
- You will always have someone who will listen to your life problems and troubling feelings. They might even scribble down some notes while you talk.
- You will always get an invite to your writer’s book signing event…as long as you buy a copy 😊
Sigh! What a job vacancy 👍🏻
A big shout out to all our other halves!
If you haven’t read a copy of my debut novel yet – you haven’t lived!
It is getting some fabulous reviews.