10 Similarities Between Searching For A New Story & Dating #SundayBlogShare #AmWriting

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I am currently searching for a new story to work on. Story hunting is not easy. Just because you are a writer doesn’t mean you have a queue of ideas, all waiting patiently for you to do something with them. No, you have to spend ages feeling glum about not having anything to write about and then force yourself to go out and find new story ideas.

Things don’t run smoothly either when you do stumble upon a new story and get excited about it. You can quickly lose that ‘loving feeling’ for a story and it doesn’t take much for this to happen. 

After a few creative dalliances with a couple of new story ideas,  I can see some interesting similarities with dating.

Let me explain:

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Heaven Calling -Part 5 #Comedy #ASMSG #RomCom

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Welcome to my weekly blog series – Heaven Calling. 

Out every Thursday.

Blurb

Camilla’s enjoyment of heaven life came to an abrupt end after she discovered her husband Gerry was dating back on Earth. He’d spent two years grieving her but in Camilla’s eyes this was not long enough.

With her own team of angel assistants; Anna and Gabriel, some soothing harp music and God’s help, Camilla is certain she can influence the outcome of Gerry’s dates and get him back to mourning her.

Read on to see what’s going on in heaven!

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Heaven Calling Blog Series – Part 3 #Comedy #Heaven #ComedyWriter 

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Welcome to my comedy blog series – Heaven Calling.

This series is out every Thursday on BlondeWriteMore. 

For Part 1 – please click here.

For Part 2 – please click here.

Quick recap: Camilla’s enjoyment of heaven life came to an abrupt end after she discovered her husband Gerry had started dating. He’d spent two years grieving her.

Two years felt a little short to Camilla. In view of her amazing wife skills she was expecting Gerry to grieve for at least twenty years.

With her own team of angel assistants; Anna and Gabriel plus God’s help, Camilla is certain she can influence the outcome of Gerry’s dates from heaven.

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Heaven Calling – Part 2 Fictional Series #Comedy #Marriage #Dating

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Welcome to my weekly blog series – Heaven Calling.

This series is out every Thursday on BlondeWriteMore.

For part 1 please click here.

Recap: Camilla’s enjoyment of heaven life came to an abrupt end last week after she made a shocking discovery about her husband, Gerry. He’d decided to start dating after spending two years mourning her. Two years felt a little short to Camilla. In view of her amazing wife skills she was expecting Gerry to grieve for at least twenty years.

As she had a good working relationship with God and her team of angels, Camilla hoped they would be able to offer some assistance to her, in getting Gerry back to a state of mourning.

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5 Mythical & Magical Creatures: Dating Pros & Cons #MondayBlogs #Halloween

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I have been wanting to write this post for ages. As it is Halloween, some of these creatures are a bit spooky and my fictional character Roxy is going on date with a possible vampire, I thought today would be perfect for this post.

I can’t be the only one who doesn’t sit and think about what it would be like to date something mythical or magical. I am sure you all must be pondering this too.

Below are 5 mythical & magical creatures with the dating pros and cons for each one. 

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If an Online Dating Site For Writers Existed… #WritersLife #Writers

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Photo Credit: StockSnap.

Have you ever found yourself wondering how an online dating site for writers could work? Don’t worry – I got this topic covered!

I think an online dating site for writers is a great idea. Luckily for me, my loved one has not yet traded me in for a younger model, grown tired of my emotional breakdowns, creative tantrums, hormonal fluctuations, frequent use of a shrill voice and my inability to reduce the ironing pile to a more manageable level. However, that doesn’t stop my mind from thinking through this gem of a business idea!

I am sure writers would want to date other writers. Can you imagine dating someone who understands your editing pain, lets you off the housework when you need to focus on your first chapter and gives you constructive literary criticism during pillow talk?  I know…it sounds like the making of relationship bliss!

An online dating site for writers probably exists somewhere in the world, but here is how I think an online dating site for writers could work:

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The Diary of Roxy Collins – OMG He’s a Rat #romance #chicklit #MondayBlogs

 

 

thediaryof

 

Saturday

8.45 A.M. Two things have come into my life; my ex-boyfriend Dan and my youngest son Toby’s new pet rat ‘Bob’.

I can’t say I am happy with the arrival of Bob and I can’t say my landlord Brian is thrilled either. However Bob has stopped Toby talking to his imaginary friend Malcolm. Big sigh of relief!

Brian, my 67 year old landlord, clutched his chest and went an odd grey colour at the sight of Toby’s new pet. I had no other choice but to leap into action and manoeuvre Brian out of the house before he thought too much about Bob. I promised him that Bob the rat will be properly cared for and will never be left unattended to roam free around the house.

Brian staggered off down the path muttering and shaking his head.

Just listening to Toby chat away to Bob in his cage. Its great for kids to have pets. Sigh!

8.47 A.M. I need to get a wriggle on and pack my overnight  case.

I am back with my ex Dan.

Jake and I were not really suited to each other. He seemed petrified of me the whole time. I never understood why. Dan is not scared. He likes my kind of crazy!

Dan is taking me away for the night to a fancy hotel. It is a chance for us to celebrate getting back together. Shaz, my best mate, says second time around relationships are great.

I am a bit nervous. I don’t know why but I always end up getting into some sort of drama at fancy hotels. In the past I have avoided them. Rob, my ex, refused to take me to a nice hotel as he said I would end up causing a scene.

Mystic Clive, my favourite astrologer, told me that I had to take a risk this week so I accepted Dan’s gift of a night away with him in a fancy hotel.

10.15 A.M. Still not packed my overnight case. Its lying open on the kitchen table, half full with an assortment of clothes and underwear. I can’t decide what to wear for a posh dinner in a fancy hotel so I am packing at least 4 outfits. Decision will be made later.

Arguing with Matilda, my teenage daughter, about her choice of outfit to the local shopping centre with her friends.

‘It looks like a belt [her skirt] Matilda!’ I shriek pointing in horror at the miniscule strip of denim around her waist.

‘Mam its called fashion!’ Matilda yells back at me.

‘You are NOT wearing THAT and those HUGE heels – NO!’ I scream back at her.

‘I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW!’ screeches Matilda.

‘Mam’ says Toby tugging at my arm.

‘Not now Toby’ I say striding after Matilda who is tottering towards the front door.

‘COME BACK HERE!’ I scream at her as she gives me a wink and opens the door.

‘Mam!’ urges Toby.

‘What?’ I snap, still glaring at Matilda.

‘Bob’s gone missing’ whispers Toby.

10.17 A.M. Time grinds to a halt as I flick my head to stare in horror at Toby.

‘Better dash Mam!’ says Matilda seizing her opportunity and slipping out of the door.

‘You promised me he wouldn’t escape’ I say to my nine year old.

‘He was anxious and needed a cuddle’ says Toby.

‘Toby he’s a RAT!’ I scream, ‘rats don’t suffer with anxiety!’

Speaking of anxiety here comes Brian, my landlord, up the path. OMG!

10.19 A.M. Brian has come to fix the loo.

‘How’s the pet Toby?’ he asks as he starts to climb the stairs.

‘He’s asleep in his cage’ I say quickly.

10.23 A.M. Toby and I are on our hands and knees searching the conservatory, whilst calling ‘Bob!’

10.32 A.M. Brian, the landlord wants to see Bob in his cage in the conservatory. My whole body is trembling. If he finds out there is a rat loose in the house the kids and I could be finding another place to rent.

Time for Roxy the actress to make an appearance!

‘Oh Brian I don’t feel very well’ I say putting my hand to my forehead.

‘You do look a bit peaky’ says Brian looking concerned.

‘Think I need to sit down’ I say slumping into a chair, whilst praying Brian will leave the kitchen and not go out into the conservatory to see the empty cage.

I place my head in my hands for maximum impact.

‘Good grief – what is that?’ exclaims Brian.

I can feel the blood drain from my face as I lift my head up, half expecting him to have found Bob the rat in the kitchen.

Brian is stood clutching his chest, looking an odd shade of grey and staring at my overnight case.

To my relief its just my choice of underwear hanging out of the case.

For the second time in a week I quietly manoeuvre my landlord out of my house and watch him walk down the path muttering and shaking his head.

11.10 A.M  Brian has left. We still haven’t found Bob the rat.

Toby is crying at the kitchen table.

Harry my other son is on the floor in the kitchen, waving bits of lettuce and shouting ‘BOB!’

2.00 P.M. Still no sign of Bob the rat.

We have been around the house shouting ‘Bob’. I haven’t even had chance to question whether rats answer to their name.

Toby and Harry are being led away snivelling by their father Rob.

3.00 P.M. Dan is outside in the car. I am off for a fancy night in a hotel.

As we pass Brian in his garden I give him a little wave and he looks away.

4.00 P.M. Whilst Dan is getting our room key I decide to head for the bar. I need a little glass of wine to take the edge off my frazzled mental state.

It has been an emotional day with Matilda’s skirt choices and the disappearance of Bob the rat.

I am also worried about my night in this beautiful hotel. It seems far too posh for me and there is always drama where I am concerned.

If anything goes wrong I will blame Mystic Clive.

4.10 P.M. Dan has joined me in the hotel bar. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and asks me whether there is anything wrong.

I explain that things never go right for me in posh hotels. Dan gives me a cuddle and tells me that we will have a wonderful night.

4.15 P.M. My phone bleeps. Its Rob, my ex, telling me that Toby is inconsolable about Bob the rat.

Here comes the mother guilt. I am sat drinking wine with handsome man whilst youngest son is having a breakdown about a lost pet!’

7.23 P.M. Doing my makeup in our hotel room. Dan has already commented how beautiful I look in my dress. He looks very handsome too.

I am stood in the bathroom trying to recreate Kim Kardashian’s contouring look but failing miserably.

‘Good grief what is that?’ screeches Dan from the bedroom.

I groan. What is it with men and my choice of underwear?

Why can’t a girl (woman in her thirties) have nice….colourful…tiny underwear garments?

I drop my makeup brush and race out of the bathroom. Dan is stood white faced by the door.

My eyes fall upon Bob the rat, sticking up out of my case and sniffing the air.

‘OMG it’s BOB!’ I scream!

‘What?? You know the RAT sticking it’s head out of your knickers ROXY?’ shrieks Dan.

I blame Mystic Clive for everything.

 

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14 Different Writer Reactions to Their Characters First Kiss #writers #romance #kiss

 

The writer has been cleverly building the romantic tension between their main characters. Both characters have been playing what I like to call ‘flirty games’  for a chapter or so (lots of giggling, eye contact, lip biting and playing with hair) and now it is time for them to kiss. The writer takes a deep breath and dives straight into writing the first kiss.

Once finished the writer sits back and casts their eye over what they have written.  Below is a list of different writer reactions to the kissing scene:

  1. *Dreamy facial expression followed by a gaze out of the window*
  2.  Sigh! 
  3. “Yuk that sounds gross!” – the writer looks away in disgust.
  4. “Calm down – it’s not like he’s the last man on Earth!” *rolls eyes at female character*
  5. “Would it be that intense and passionate on a first kiss?” *chews end of pencil and deliberates*
  6. *Mischievous wink at a passing loved one*
  7. “Where did you learn to kiss like that?”  *raises eyebrows at male character*
  8. “I am going to have to spend all day rewriting this particular scene..”
  9. “Hang on let me just think about head angles here…” 
  10.  “Yep…that did it for me!” *reaches for electric fan*
  11. “You are wasted on her!” *Seductive look at male character*
  12. “I think he will need to pop a mint before kissing her….that packet of Scampi Fries he devoured earlier won’t smell great!”
  13. “I think I need to get out more!” 
  14. “Don’t kiss him and then eyeball the cute minor character…for goodness sake this is a serious piece of fiction!” *rolls eyes at female character*

If any of my readers have any other writer reactions that they would like to share – leave me a comment 🙂

Have a fabulous day!

Photo Unsplash 

 

The Diary of Roxy Collins – Marcus – Part 29 #Romance #comedy

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Thursday

9.15 a.m. Receive a mixed reaction from the office to my new vibrant red hair colour.

Martin, my line manager, takes one look at me, grips the desk and says ‘good grief Roxy what have you done!’

The nice men on the IT helpdesk give me a thumbs up and then ask me to fake an IT problem so they can spend time with me.

The young trendy girls in the office give me a ‘OMG – cooooooool hair!’

The older women in the office cast me a puzzled look and ask me whether the colour is permanent.

If I am honest, Wayne did get carried away with the colour of my hair. I was left speecheless when he gave me the mirror.

Matilda, my teenage daughter, arrived home from her Cheerleading training session, took one look at my hair and rolled her eyes. I then overheard her, later in her room, making a YouTube video titled ‘When your mother thinks she’s 21 again’.

9.25 a.m. Marcus, my senior manager, walks past my desk and gives me a smile. The weird fluttering sensation in my chest returns.

10.05 a.m. Receive text from Matilda, my teenage daughter, asking whether she can stay over at her new boyfriend Matt’s house tonight.

I am not sure whether Matilda thinks that I am suffering from amnesia. I have been saying no to this request for months. This is not happening. She’s not staying over at a boy’s house!

I text back ‘NO!’

Text back from Matilda ‘relax Mam, it is just like a girlie sleepover but with a boy!’

I text back ‘NO!’

Text from Matilda ‘Lou [her best friend] says her Mum would let her stay over with a boy’

I text back ‘I am not Lou’s mother!’

Text from Matila ‘Matt and I both hate you!’ and eight devil emojis.

10.20 a.m. Sat in a meeting where Marcus is presenting some business statistics.

All the department are sat on chairs in rows. Some of us are listening, some are nearly asleep (Mike from Finance), some are bored rigid, some are staring out of the window and some of us are drooling at Marcus.

For some unknown reason I can’t take my eyes off him; his fitted pink shirt, his grey pin stripe trousers and his styled grey flecked hair.

10.24 a.m. He’s still talking but I have noticed the occasional glance in my direction from him.

10.25 a.m. He’s done it again. Looked at me from across the room.

I am so glad no one else  has noticed this.

I am tapped on the shoulder, from behind, by Helen from Accounts. ‘Why does Mr Hot keep staring at you?’ she whispers.

I shrug my shoulders and keep my eyes firmly fixed on Marcus.

‘Maybe he likes your new hair colour’ Helen whispers, making me nod in agreement.

‘Maybe he fancies you!’ she whispers into my ear. The idea of Marcus being attracted to me starts to take shape. I am consumed by the fluttery sensation in my chest again and I can feel my cheeks heating up.

In an instant my brain runs through how our wedding day will look and whether or not I will invite anyone from the office to the evening celebration.

‘He’s a senior manager Roxy’ Helen whispers. My fantasy starts to crack.

‘Unlucky honey – he couldn’t date you anyway in his position of authority’ she hisses.

I turn around to glare at her face which is taut and twisted.

Helen has never really moved on from the blonde surfer who broke her heart. She hates to see anyone else getting some attention from the opposite sex.

My fantasy with Marcus is broken.

He gives me a look and I smile. The daydream was nice whilst it lasted.

For the record if I did get married Helen from Accounts will not be invited to the evening celebration.

10. 34 a.m. Get back to my desk and see email from Marcus. He wants to me come to his office as he has an update for me.

10.36 a.m. As I walk towards his office my phone bleeps. I casually peek at it and gasp. Its from Shaz, my heavily pregnant best friend.

‘I have pains – think its labour’ Shaz texts.

Quickly I text back. ‘You are four weeks early. Its probably Braxton-Hicks’

‘It hurts’ texts Shaz. She also includes eight crying emojis.

‘How many Snickers bars have you had?’ I text back.

‘Ten – why?’ texts Shaz.

‘Stop eating Snickers bars!’ I text back.

‘Are you still going to be my birthing partner?’ texts Shaz.

‘Yes – always – get some rest!’ I text back.

10. 37 a.m. I sit opposite Marcus and I can’t stop the fluttering sensation in my chest. It must be my breakfast repeating on me.

As he is on the phone I check my bag for some indigestion tablets. I don’t have any so I pop a mint.

10. 50 a.m. He finally puts down his phone and holds my gaze.

‘Roxy’ he says in his sexy smooth voice. I notice that his sea blue eyes are not sparkling today.

‘I am leaving the company’ he announces.

My heart sinks.

For a moment we both sit and stare at each other.

My phone starts ringing.

I let my phone ring. A lump has risen in my throat. I am actually sad to hear Marcus’s news.

‘There will be a formal briefing later. I wanted to tell you myself’ he says, breaking eye contact and shuffling some folders around his desk.

My phone starts ringing again from inside my handbag.

‘I am so sorry Marcus’ I say, trying not to cry. It is not good for your career to cry when a senior manager says they are leaving. All emotion must be kept to a minimum. I just hope I am not asked to sign his leaving card. I struggle with writing comments on leaving cards as my emotions run wild. I have been known to give people the wrong impression. Kevin from Accounts, who left the company, still thinks there is something between us six years on.

My phone will not stop ringing.

‘I think it is my daughter calling to tell me she hates me’ I moan, praying that whoever it decides to stop calling. I just hope Matilda has not taken it upon herself to accept Matt’s invitation of a sleep over and is now calling to tell me.

It will not be the first time that I have to physically remove her from a boy’s house. These teenage years are really hard.

Matilda seems to be a magnet for boys. I think we need to have a mother and daughter heart to heart.

‘i just wanted to say….’ he pauses. He takes a breath and looks away.

‘I will miss you’ the words fly out of my mouth and take me by surprise. I do struggle when my brain and mouth decide to disconnect.

His eyes widen and I watch his mouth fall open.

My phone is ringing. This has to be an emergency. I just hope Matilda is not over at Matt’s house having her own version of a sleepover…during the day.

I check the screen. Its Shaz. Quickly I answer it.

‘I need to go to the hospital Roxy, the pain is really bad’ groans Shaz.

‘Marcus’ I say. ‘I have to go, my best friend thinks she’s in labour and I am her birthing partner’

Marcus looks shocked and runs his hand through his grey flecked hair.

‘Isn’t the father about?’ he enquires.

‘Sadly not, he doesn’t want anything to do with her. It is a long story. He’s a postman’ I explain.

‘Do you have a car?’ he asks.

I shake my head. ‘I will get a taxi’ I say reaching for my purse.

‘Let me help you’ he says, rising from his chair and grabbing his jacket.

Now it is my turn to be shocked.

‘But you are the senior manager’ I say grabbing my bag.

‘I am leaving Roxy’ he says, whilst giving me a huge smile.

11.30 a.m. Marcus is driving at pace through town and towards the hospital.

Shaz and I are in the back of his Jaguar. I am holding Shaz’s hand whilst she groans and mumbles ‘Snickers bar….someone get me a Snickers Bar…help me!’

He keeps catching my eye in the mirror.

I am nervous for Shaz but I am consumed once again by this fluttery feeling.

11.40 a.m. Marcus and I are pushing Shaz in a wheelchair, up to the Maternity section of the hospital.

‘You didn’t have to do this!’ I shout as we race along.

‘I like rescuing you Roxy’ he says and turns to look at me.

We both stop pushing the wheel chair and stare at each other.

The world around us seems to stop.

All I can hear is the thudding of my heart.

‘Really?’ I ask.

‘That’s all I want to do’ he says, holding my gaze.

‘OMG Roxy I am in labour and you are on the bloody pull!’ shrieks Shaz.

 

 

The Diary of Roxy Collins – Part 27 The Sign #chicklit #romance

 

thediaryof

Saturday

8.15 P.M. Dan and I are on our hands and knees, trying to coax out my son Toby’s pet rat Bob from underneath the bed in our luxury hotel room.

My hopes of a romantic evening with Dan were dashed when my son’s pet rat decided to be a stowaway in my overnight case.

‘I think we’ll need to move the bed’ I say peering underneath it.

‘I’d forgotten how crazy life is with you Roxy!’ exclaims Dan, scratching his head.

‘I think I’m jinxed when it comes to posh hotels. I did warn you’ I say.

Dan’s phone bleeps. He reaches in his trouser pocket and checks it.

Bob the rat starts squeaking from underneath the bed.

‘Well come out then you silly rat!’ I exclaim in my shrill mother voice which works well on children and ex-partners, never tried it on furry creatures, until now.

Dan is still looking at his phone.

‘Why don’t you search Google for ideas on how we can catch a rat in a hotel room?’ I suggest.

Dan seems preoccupied and continues staring at the screen of his phone.

I go back to calling  ‘Bob….here Bob….come to Roxy!’

8.20 P.M. Bob the rat makes a run for it. I shriek at Dan. ‘Get him!’

Dan jumps out of his skin at the sight of Bob scurrying across the floor.

Sometimes in life a woman has to step in because her man is backed up against a wall trembling in fright.

Grabbing my white hotel towel robe, which is lying on the bed, I chuck it over Bob and then quickly scoop him up in it.

‘What are you going to do now?’ shrieks Dan, pointing at the wriggling rat in my towel robe.

‘We need to get him home’ I say. ‘Grab your car keys and lets go!’

‘Are you serious?’ cries Dan. ‘He’ll escape in my sports car!’

‘Trust me I am used to dealing with rats!’ I say, securing my grip on Bob, who has calmed down in my arms.

‘How  are we going to get out of the hotel with a rat?’ shrieks Dan, running his hands through his hair.

‘Empty my case quick!’ I say gesturing towards the bed.

Dan makes some odd faces at my underwear selection as he places my stuff onto the bed.

I place Bob in my pink fluffy overnight case, leaving the zip open a bit so he can breathe.

Dan and I then leave our room and head for the car.

8.45 P.M. Pull up outside my house. Grab pink fluffy suitcase with rat inside and totter into house at speed.

Open Bob’s cage and place him inside. Lock the cage and wipe brow.

Sometimes I amaze myself at the situations I get out of.

8.47 P.M. Dan is stood in my kitchen checking his phone.

I thought I checked my phone a lot. Must be football related.

‘Right shall we go back to the hotel?’ I ask checking my silver dress from River Island still looks amazing.

Now that Bob the rat is back home I can get on with having some romance.

Dan seems engrossed with his phone.

He looks so handsome in his smart grey suit, standing with his back against the fridge freezer.

8.48 P.M.  Just imagining Dan stood at the church waiting for me on our wedding day.

I can feel a little burst of happiness shoot through me. We are back together and we will probably get married, move into some posh house and make some beautiful babies.

Hang on I already have three older babies and he has two older babies.

8.49 P.M. Still gawping at Dan and debating (in my head) whether we will have kids together.

Make decision to stop thinking about having more kids.

There has been no mention of Clara, Dan’s best friend, who I have assumed is nearly married by now. Dan has been telling me how much she’s changed with her new man.

All my previous worries and insecurities about Clara have gone.   Dan chose me.

This feels too good to be true but I am going to go with it.

Roxy Collins is finally in a relationship! Yay!

Roxy Collins is going back to a fancy hotel for the night with her man! Yay!

Roxy Collins will soon be married! Yay!

Bob squeaks from his cage.

‘You can keep quiet!’ I whisper to Bob. ‘You nearly ruined my night of passion!’

‘Dan?’ I say.

Bob continues to squeak at me. I smile to myself as I recall Toby telling me the other night that Bob gives him secret messages via squeaks.

When I probed further into this communication with his pet rat it became apparent that Bob mainly tells him to fight his brother Harry, hide his sister Matilda’s make-up and refuse to eat vegetables at dinner time.

Toby insists that Bob the rat can communicate. I glance at Bob squeaking like mad at me from his cage.

‘Dan’ I say a bit louder. I wish he would put that phone away as I am going stir crazy thinking about our future children and whether my son’s rat can communicate with humans.

I need a drink and some romance!

Dan nods. We leave the kitchen and I can still hear Bob squeaking like mad.

‘What’s wrong with the rat?’ asks Dan.

‘Toby swears the rat gives him secret messages’ I chuckle. ‘Ignore him. Now drive me back to that hotel for some romance!’ I say taking Dan by the arm.

He opens the front door for me and cries ‘come on Clara! Let me get you back to our hotel!’

8.53 P.M. Time has stopped. I am rooted to the spot, mouth open, staring at Dan.

‘What’s the matter?’ he asks holding open the door.

‘You called me Clara!’ I snap, feeling blood start to sizzle in my veins.

‘I didn’t!’ he cries.

‘You did Dan!’ It’s amazing how fast tears can well up in my eyes.

‘Roxy I didn’t say Clara!’ he says, his voice tinged with irritation.

His phone bleeps again.

‘Is that Clara?’ I demand as the penny drops inside my head.

He looks away.

‘Dan what’s going on? You have been odd since we got in the hotel room.’ I demand, sensing trouble.

I watch as he rubs his face and looks away.

I can feel the blood draining from my face.

Bob is still squeaking from his cage.

‘I’m sorry I can’t do this Roxy….. I’m so sorry’ whispers Dan, avoiding my gaze and looking down at his shoes. ‘I thought Clara and I were just best friends but…..she’s been texting me tonight and she says….’

‘GET OUT!’ I scream. I knew it was too good to be true.

That woman Clara has her claws dug so deep into him.

I wish he’d never come back into my life.

Tears are streaming down my face as I shove him out.

9.56 P.M. I am sat in the conservatory with a bottle of red wine, a large glass, a box of tissues and a squeaking rat, sat in his cage.

Dan brought my suitcase from the hotel. He tried to explain on my doorstep about how she’s messed with his head. I ignored him and closed the door.

‘Oh Bob!’ I sob. ‘I should never have gone back with Dan!’

Bob squeaks in agreement.

‘Ex boyfriends are bad for my health!’ I cry wiping away hot tears.

Bob squeaks in agreement.

‘I am going to be a sad and lonely old spinster!’ I sob.

Bob stops squeaking. I think this means something.

Loud wail followed by huge slurp of wine.

For more Roxy please click here