10 Things To Consider When Writing The First Kiss In A Romance Story #MondayBlogs #ASMSG

 

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The first kiss between the hero and heroine is a huge turning point for a romance story. Up until this point both the hero and heroine will have been denying their true feelings, casting smouldering looks and giving each other weird tingling sensations.

As the writer / author you will have been busy chucking a myriad of life obstacles at your characters, designed to keep them apart and to keep your reader guessing about when they will get their romance fix.

However, there will come a point in the story where the hero and heroine will suddenly find themselves in close proximity of each other. Hearts will start to gallop, hopes will get raised, temperatures will rise and your reader will be standing on their sofa, book in hand, screaming “JUST KISS HER!”

The first kiss is important for a number of reasons:

  • It advances the plot.
  • Gives the reader an indication of how strong the romance between these two characters is going to be. The reader may need to clear their social calendar for the next few evenings if the first kiss is sizzling (nothing worse than socializing when there is a hot romance unfolding in your book).
  • Gives the reader some useful character insight, depending on the character POV.
  • Sparks a change in the characters post kiss. They will want to overcome their life challenges and follow their heart after this.

Here are some things I think you should consider when writing this important part of a romance story:

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Heaven Calling – Part 2 Fictional Series #Comedy #Marriage #Dating

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Welcome to my weekly blog series – Heaven Calling.

This series is out every Thursday on BlondeWriteMore.

For part 1 please click here.

Recap: Camilla’s enjoyment of heaven life came to an abrupt end last week after she made a shocking discovery about her husband, Gerry. He’d decided to start dating after spending two years mourning her. Two years felt a little short to Camilla. In view of her amazing wife skills she was expecting Gerry to grieve for at least twenty years.

As she had a good working relationship with God and her team of angels, Camilla hoped they would be able to offer some assistance to her, in getting Gerry back to a state of mourning.

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5 Mythical & Magical Creatures: Dating Pros & Cons #MondayBlogs #Halloween

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I have been wanting to write this post for ages. As it is Halloween, some of these creatures are a bit spooky and my fictional character Roxy is going on date with a possible vampire, I thought today would be perfect for this post.

I can’t be the only one who doesn’t sit and think about what it would be like to date something mythical or magical. I am sure you all must be pondering this too.

Below are 5 mythical & magical creatures with the dating pros and cons for each one. 

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The Diary of Roxy Collins – OMG He’s a Rat #romance #chicklit #MondayBlogs

 

 

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Saturday

8.45 A.M. Two things have come into my life; my ex-boyfriend Dan and my youngest son Toby’s new pet rat ‘Bob’.

I can’t say I am happy with the arrival of Bob and I can’t say my landlord Brian is thrilled either. However Bob has stopped Toby talking to his imaginary friend Malcolm. Big sigh of relief!

Brian, my 67 year old landlord, clutched his chest and went an odd grey colour at the sight of Toby’s new pet. I had no other choice but to leap into action and manoeuvre Brian out of the house before he thought too much about Bob. I promised him that Bob the rat will be properly cared for and will never be left unattended to roam free around the house.

Brian staggered off down the path muttering and shaking his head.

Just listening to Toby chat away to Bob in his cage. Its great for kids to have pets. Sigh!

8.47 A.M. I need to get a wriggle on and pack my overnight  case.

I am back with my ex Dan.

Jake and I were not really suited to each other. He seemed petrified of me the whole time. I never understood why. Dan is not scared. He likes my kind of crazy!

Dan is taking me away for the night to a fancy hotel. It is a chance for us to celebrate getting back together. Shaz, my best mate, says second time around relationships are great.

I am a bit nervous. I don’t know why but I always end up getting into some sort of drama at fancy hotels. In the past I have avoided them. Rob, my ex, refused to take me to a nice hotel as he said I would end up causing a scene.

Mystic Clive, my favourite astrologer, told me that I had to take a risk this week so I accepted Dan’s gift of a night away with him in a fancy hotel.

10.15 A.M. Still not packed my overnight case. Its lying open on the kitchen table, half full with an assortment of clothes and underwear. I can’t decide what to wear for a posh dinner in a fancy hotel so I am packing at least 4 outfits. Decision will be made later.

Arguing with Matilda, my teenage daughter, about her choice of outfit to the local shopping centre with her friends.

‘It looks like a belt [her skirt] Matilda!’ I shriek pointing in horror at the miniscule strip of denim around her waist.

‘Mam its called fashion!’ Matilda yells back at me.

‘You are NOT wearing THAT and those HUGE heels – NO!’ I scream back at her.

‘I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW!’ screeches Matilda.

‘Mam’ says Toby tugging at my arm.

‘Not now Toby’ I say striding after Matilda who is tottering towards the front door.

‘COME BACK HERE!’ I scream at her as she gives me a wink and opens the door.

‘Mam!’ urges Toby.

‘What?’ I snap, still glaring at Matilda.

‘Bob’s gone missing’ whispers Toby.

10.17 A.M. Time grinds to a halt as I flick my head to stare in horror at Toby.

‘Better dash Mam!’ says Matilda seizing her opportunity and slipping out of the door.

‘You promised me he wouldn’t escape’ I say to my nine year old.

‘He was anxious and needed a cuddle’ says Toby.

‘Toby he’s a RAT!’ I scream, ‘rats don’t suffer with anxiety!’

Speaking of anxiety here comes Brian, my landlord, up the path. OMG!

10.19 A.M. Brian has come to fix the loo.

‘How’s the pet Toby?’ he asks as he starts to climb the stairs.

‘He’s asleep in his cage’ I say quickly.

10.23 A.M. Toby and I are on our hands and knees searching the conservatory, whilst calling ‘Bob!’

10.32 A.M. Brian, the landlord wants to see Bob in his cage in the conservatory. My whole body is trembling. If he finds out there is a rat loose in the house the kids and I could be finding another place to rent.

Time for Roxy the actress to make an appearance!

‘Oh Brian I don’t feel very well’ I say putting my hand to my forehead.

‘You do look a bit peaky’ says Brian looking concerned.

‘Think I need to sit down’ I say slumping into a chair, whilst praying Brian will leave the kitchen and not go out into the conservatory to see the empty cage.

I place my head in my hands for maximum impact.

‘Good grief – what is that?’ exclaims Brian.

I can feel the blood drain from my face as I lift my head up, half expecting him to have found Bob the rat in the kitchen.

Brian is stood clutching his chest, looking an odd shade of grey and staring at my overnight case.

To my relief its just my choice of underwear hanging out of the case.

For the second time in a week I quietly manoeuvre my landlord out of my house and watch him walk down the path muttering and shaking his head.

11.10 A.M  Brian has left. We still haven’t found Bob the rat.

Toby is crying at the kitchen table.

Harry my other son is on the floor in the kitchen, waving bits of lettuce and shouting ‘BOB!’

2.00 P.M. Still no sign of Bob the rat.

We have been around the house shouting ‘Bob’. I haven’t even had chance to question whether rats answer to their name.

Toby and Harry are being led away snivelling by their father Rob.

3.00 P.M. Dan is outside in the car. I am off for a fancy night in a hotel.

As we pass Brian in his garden I give him a little wave and he looks away.

4.00 P.M. Whilst Dan is getting our room key I decide to head for the bar. I need a little glass of wine to take the edge off my frazzled mental state.

It has been an emotional day with Matilda’s skirt choices and the disappearance of Bob the rat.

I am also worried about my night in this beautiful hotel. It seems far too posh for me and there is always drama where I am concerned.

If anything goes wrong I will blame Mystic Clive.

4.10 P.M. Dan has joined me in the hotel bar. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and asks me whether there is anything wrong.

I explain that things never go right for me in posh hotels. Dan gives me a cuddle and tells me that we will have a wonderful night.

4.15 P.M. My phone bleeps. Its Rob, my ex, telling me that Toby is inconsolable about Bob the rat.

Here comes the mother guilt. I am sat drinking wine with handsome man whilst youngest son is having a breakdown about a lost pet!’

7.23 P.M. Doing my makeup in our hotel room. Dan has already commented how beautiful I look in my dress. He looks very handsome too.

I am stood in the bathroom trying to recreate Kim Kardashian’s contouring look but failing miserably.

‘Good grief what is that?’ screeches Dan from the bedroom.

I groan. What is it with men and my choice of underwear?

Why can’t a girl (woman in her thirties) have nice….colourful…tiny underwear garments?

I drop my makeup brush and race out of the bathroom. Dan is stood white faced by the door.

My eyes fall upon Bob the rat, sticking up out of my case and sniffing the air.

‘OMG it’s BOB!’ I scream!

‘What?? You know the RAT sticking it’s head out of your knickers ROXY?’ shrieks Dan.

I blame Mystic Clive for everything.

 

For more Roxy please click here

 

14 Different Writer Reactions to Their Characters First Kiss #writers #romance #kiss

 

The writer has been cleverly building the romantic tension between their main characters. Both characters have been playing what I like to call ‘flirty games’  for a chapter or so (lots of giggling, eye contact, lip biting and playing with hair) and now it is time for them to kiss. The writer takes a deep breath and dives straight into writing the first kiss.

Once finished the writer sits back and casts their eye over what they have written.  Below is a list of different writer reactions to the kissing scene:

  1. *Dreamy facial expression followed by a gaze out of the window*
  2.  Sigh! 
  3. “Yuk that sounds gross!” – the writer looks away in disgust.
  4. “Calm down – it’s not like he’s the last man on Earth!” *rolls eyes at female character*
  5. “Would it be that intense and passionate on a first kiss?” *chews end of pencil and deliberates*
  6. *Mischievous wink at a passing loved one*
  7. “Where did you learn to kiss like that?”  *raises eyebrows at male character*
  8. “I am going to have to spend all day rewriting this particular scene..”
  9. “Hang on let me just think about head angles here…” 
  10.  “Yep…that did it for me!” *reaches for electric fan*
  11. “You are wasted on her!” *Seductive look at male character*
  12. “I think he will need to pop a mint before kissing her….that packet of Scampi Fries he devoured earlier won’t smell great!”
  13. “I think I need to get out more!” 
  14. “Don’t kiss him and then eyeball the cute minor character…for goodness sake this is a serious piece of fiction!” *rolls eyes at female character*

If any of my readers have any other writer reactions that they would like to share – leave me a comment 🙂

Have a fabulous day!

Photo Unsplash 

 

Tina’s Writer Diary – Character Crush #Writer #Comedy

 

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Friday

2.34 a.m. “Oh Frank what big hands you have!” 

“Tina – wake up!” groans Keith, shaking my arm. “You are talking in your sleep again!”

I wake from my sweaty dream, my heart beating loudly. “Sorry Keith” I murmur.

6.34 a.m. I am up early doing some writing on one particular scene. I must have written this scene a hundred times.

Frank, my fictional character, who I am thinking about far too much these days, is being seduced by Vivian, my other fictional character. She is basically me…minus a couple of stone, a touch of plastic surgery and five years knocked off my age.

I am worried about my strong feelings for Frank. You see I have had these powerful feelings for my characters before. Richard, the Secret Agent, from my political thriller ‘Intrigue at No.10 Downing Street’  stole my heart.

Keith’s mother, to this day, still asks why she had to spend a lot of the book reading about Richard’s private life. According to Pamela, it had nothing to do with the plot. It does annoy me when people with no understanding of how a great literary mind works, lecture me. As I have explained to her on many an occasion, those three lengthy chapters on Richard were much-needed back story.

Pamela likes to argue with me and claims that a detailed account of Richard in the gym was unnecessary. I thanked her for the feedback and informed Keith that she would not be getting a homemade carrot cake out of me for her next church coffee morning. She will learn!

8.45 a.m. Keith has gone to work. I am busy doing some important Google research.

I am telling myself that lusting after a fictional character is nothing to be ashamed of.

Ok, there are a few writers online who are going through the same thing and have blogged about it. Panic over.

9.45 a.m. Just staring into space and wondering whether J.K Rowling experienced what I am going through with Sirius Black perhaps?

12.06 p.m. Those posts that I read earlier have opened the flood gates. I can’t stop thinking about Frank.

Just writing out a list of the things that attract me to him:

  • Large hands
  • Love of a fried breakfast.
  • Deep voice
  • An obsession for wearing cowboy boots.

I am happily ignoring the fact that Frank is evil. He kidnapped my other character, Vivian, with the intention of locking her away in his attic. Love makes you ignore stuff about the other person. I won’t go into what I am ignoring with Keith, we could be here all day.

Seriously though, I think I could change Frank, if we were dating, and turn him into a better person.

2.45 p.m. Having some thinking time whilst staring out of the window and watching the neighbour tinker with his flower beds.

11.45 p.m. “Oh Frank what fine cowboy boots you are wearing!”

“Tina please stop talking in your sleep!” groans Keith, shaking my arm till I wake.

“Sorry” I mumble.

“I got to work tomorrow so can you keep the noise down!” he moans.

Saturday 

7.34 a.m. Keith is busy eating his bowl of Sugar Puffs.

Margaret,the cat, and I are both sat at the table watching him.

I have to come clean. Keith has a right to know.

“Keith I have something to tell you” I say, hanging my head in shame.

He carries on wolfing down his Sugar Puffs.

“There is a 3rd person in our relationship” I say quietly.

“You mean Margaret” he says, chewing with his mouth open and pointing the spoon at Margaret. She hisses back at him. Margaret is not a morning cat.

“No” I say shaking my head. “Frank” I murmur.

“You mean that made up person in your book” he says, with a grin.

I gasp. “Frank is not just some made up person!” I shriek. “He’s…..so real…in my head!”

Keith goes back to shovelling Sugar Puffs into his mouth.

“Are you not going to say anything?”

“Is this normal for a writer to fancy their character?” he asks, in between mouthfuls.

“As I have told you before Keith I am not a normal writer!” I say with a sigh.

Margaret the cat hisses in agreement.

“I preferred your writer crush on Richard. It was fun for me role-playing a secret agent!” Keith says, leaping out of his chair and pretending to be the next James Bond.

“It wasn’t fun for me when we discovered your inability to scale the outside of a building!” I snap, recalling the two weeks he spent in hospital with his leg in plaster.

“Role playing some nutter obsessed with fried food and cowboy boots, who locks people in his attic for a few weeks wasn’t fun for me….although…” Keith pauses and looks at me with a hint of a smile.

“What?” I gasp.

“I did get some peace and quiet!” he grins and leaves for work, whistling.

There will be more from Tina next week. For other Tina stories please click here. 

This was my entry into the Blog Battle contest run by Rachael Ritchey. If you want to enter or read other stories leap into her blog here

The word was voice.

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/43903625@N02/5526373297″>Anna</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

The Diary of Roxy Collins – The Great Kiss #ChickLit #BloggingGals

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Friday

2.05 A.M. My best friend Shaz has just given birth to a beautiful baby boy.

We are both in tears watching him being wrapped up in a white towel by a mid wife.

“He’s adorable Shaz,” I whisper, wiping away tears. “Just think he’s made entirely out of Snickers bars!”

“Thanks Roxy for being here with me,”says Shaz stroking her baby’s soft black hair.

“Hey that’s what best mates do,” I say, giving Shaz’s shoulder a squeeze.

“I don’t know what I would do without you!” croaks Shaz ,staring up at me with tear filled eyes.

Tears start to pour down our faces and a Midwife hands us a box of tissues.

2.56 A.M. I stagger out of the delivery room to find Brian, my landlord, asleep on a row of waiting chairs. I give him a nudge and he wakes looking startled.

When he heard that Shaz had gone into labour he and his wife Patricia leapt into action. Patricia sorted out my kids and Brian headed to the hospital. Even though he moans about me and my kids I think deep down Brian does care about me. He knows how important Shaz is to me.

“Well?” he asks.

“A baby boy!” I squeal.

“All well?” he asks.

“Perfect!” I say, as Brian holds open his arms and gives me a hug.

“Come on!” he says, “lets get you home.”

As we head towards Brian’s car I check my phone.

Two texts are waiting for me.

One is from my ex Dan. I gasp.

It reads ‘I I have made a big mistake Roxy, I love you!’

One is from Marcus. It reads “We need to talk. Hope Shaz and baby are ok!”

Stew over both texts in car on the way home.

9.05 A.M. Sat in work, in a dazed, almost surreal state.

Martin, my line manager, is on the phone to his mother as her bowel condition has flared up again.

I try to block out the details of Martin’s mother’s bowel condition and think about Marcus. He left the hospital shortly after we entered the Maternity building. Everything felt awkward.  Plus Shaz was screaming in pain.

I can’t get his words “I like rescuing you!” out of my head.

I glance up to see his office down the corridor and I can see him sat at his desk.

My phone bleeps. Its Dan telling me how sorry he is and how confused he’s been over Clara and I. Apparently he’s finally made his choice and its me. My heart sinks.

10.05 A.M. Marcus has left the office to go work from home. I casually overheard one of the personal assistants on the phone to someone.

I go back to his text. Maybe I should text him or phone him?

3.50 P.M. Martin let me leave early as I was struggling to stay awake at the desk.

Shaz’s labour was long and exhausting, not just for her but for me as well. Today I am feeling both physically and mentally drained. Plus my mind is full of romance issues.

Still no word from Marcus and I have made no attempt to contact him.

5.56 P.M. Lying on my sofa listening to Matilda tell me about how in love she is with this new boyfriend Matt. They have been friends for years although I have never heard her mention his name before.

Apparently in his spare time he does a lot of charity work, cares for sick animals, visits lonely old people in nursing homes and he has never had a proper girlfriend before. I am amazed that she’s found someone so….saintly.

“So can I go sleep at his house tonight then?” she asks, whilst filing her nails.

“No Matilda!” I say, before letting out a sigh. Sometimes I wish we could talk about something which doesn’t end in me saying ‘no’ a number of different ways.

“Why not?” she asks.

“Because you are not old enough to sleep over at a boyfriend’s house!” I say.

“But he’s such a caring person,” says Matilda, placing down her leopard print nail file to glare at me.

“If you told me he walks on water in his spare time it would still be no!” I say.

“He’s not interested in doing anything with me Mam if that’s what you are worried about!” shrieks Matilda. “He’s different! He just wants to read me romantic poetry!”

“No!” I say, placing a cushion over my head, hoping she’ll go upstairs.

I have had enough of this conversation and my teenage daughter.

7. 10 P.M. There is a knock at my front door.

Matilda and I are screaming at each other in the kitchen and the person at the door has to knock at a second time.

My daughter doesn’t give up on things. Once she gets an idea in her head she’s a nightmare.

I blame Jon, her father. Obviously this stubborness is nothing to do with me.

I storm off to the door and yank it open.

Stood on the doorstep is Dan clutching a huge bouquet of flowers and chocolates.

“I’m so sorry Roxy,” he says.

“What?” is all I can say. I stare at him.

“I made a silly mistake in that hotel room and I should never have let you go. Clara means nothing to me. I love you Roxy!” he says.

“But I don’t…..” I start to say.

“Please take me back Roxy! I will move down here and forget Clara” he begs.

“Roxy!” says a voice behind Dan. I look up to see Marcus coming up the path.

“Marcus!” I say with relief.

“I told you I like rescuing you” he says cheerfully.

Dan’s face falls and he stares at Marcus and then at me.

“I’m sorry Dan,” I say. “I’m not interested. Say hi to Clara for me won’t you? Come in Marcus!”

I close the door on Dan and stand looking at Marcus. My little hallway is a bit of a squeeze at the best of times but it feels even smaller tonight.

“I came to tell you that….” says Marcus and pauses.

“What?” I say, my heart thudding.

“I never recovered from that kiss by the photocopier a year ago. It was quite a kiss and I have not been able to get you out of my mind, ” admits Marcus, reaching out to stroke my cheek.

“Really?” I ask.

“When I saw you in the cinema I realised that I somehow had to be with you Roxy!” he whispers. “I quit my job because I wanted to be with you!”

I throw my arms around him and our lips come together.

“OMG that is gross!” shrieks Matilda from the kitchen.

Marcus grins and I sink into him.

“I am in love with you Roxy Collins!” he says, stroking my hair.

“I never forgot about that kiss either!” I say, gazing longingly into his sea blue eyes.

“You are quite a kisser!” he whispers.

“But I have kids and wobbly bits” I say.

“I don’t care, I just want to be with you Roxy Collins!”

9.08 P.M. Lying on sofa with Marcus. Happy. I have finally found my prince.

To be continued…

Tina’s Writer Diary – Book Research #WritersLife #Comedy #writers

 

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Tuesday 

8.17 p.m. Keith, my boyfriend, has just arrived home from work, after a twelve-hour shift at the factory.

I am sat on the sofa trying to contain my excitement. My entire body is trembling and tears of happiness are already welling up inside my eyes.

He shuffles into the living room, yawning loudly.

‘Keith’ I gush. ‘I have some really big news!’

‘You’re pregnant?’ he asks, a look of concern spreading across his face.

I shake my head.

‘You’ve got an interview for an amazing job?

‘I have an amazing job, I am a full-time writer’ I remind him.

‘You have come into some money?’ He asks, his eyes starting to sparkle.

I exhale loudly and he scratches his head whilst looking puzzled.

‘You’ve had your first sale on that book series you published last year?’

‘Like I told you, every writer has a bad book inside them. I am very different to other writers as I had a bad book series inside of me’ I explain.

Keith yawns. ‘I don’t know what else it could be?’ he says, before plonking himself onto the sofa.

‘Ok….my news is writing related!’ I shriek, leaping up from the sofa.

Keith groans and shakes his head.

‘I got an amazing new idea for a book this afternoon. It gave me a big rush and I had to lie down for a bit!’ I gush.

Keith is still shaking his head.

I continue at speed. ‘Then I came up with the idea of researching it. Guess what? I am going to live out the story through the eyes of my main character!’ I shout.

‘Oh please no!’ whimpers Keith.

‘Yes! You are going to kidnap me in the supermarket and keep me prisoner in our attic for a fortnight!’ I say proudly, wiping away tears of joy that are now streaming down my cheeks.

Keith is sat doing a great impression of a rabbit caught in headlights.

‘Just think of how much insight and emotion I can feed into my book!’ I say, feeling breathless and dizzy.

Tuesday 7.20 p.m.  I don’t waste time on my writing projects.

Keith and I are stood in the middle of our living room.

‘Ok let us practice the kidnap which will take place in the supermarket car park. When I give you the nod I want you to grab me and shove me into our car’ I say,  staring at Keith who is stood beside me.  ‘Pretend the sofa is the car!’

Keith leads me gently to the sofa and gives me a little push onto it.

‘Ok Keith, some feedback for you. I want you to really grab me and maybe lift me into the car’ I say, enjoying my new role as stage director.

‘I am not sure I can do that….I mean you are…….’ mumbles Keith, rubbing the small of his back and staring at my waist.

‘I am light as a feather Keith!’ I snap, before recalling my last weigh-in at my Slimming Club.

Ok so I have put some weight on but what is a couple of pounds between two people, destined to be married and who are looking forward to spending the rest of their lives together?

‘Do we have to do this? Can’t you just read some books about people who have been kidnapped?’ mutters Keith.

I let out a loud sigh before saying ‘I am an amazing writer because I do things properly. Now will you stop moaning and LIFT ME into our car!’ I demand pointing to the sofa.

 

Wednesday

9.13 a.m. Sat in the Doctor’s waiting room with Keith.

I was too busy in character mode  to hear his back snap, as he lifted me into the makeshift car.

What he didn’t realise was that once I was in the air I was going to transform into my character. Good writers are always flicking in and out of character mode.

Looking back I don’t think he expected me to start kicking, screaming and struggling to break free.

The crushed coffee table is now a sore point for both of us.

 

Tuesday

10.30 a.m. Keith and I pushing our trolley around the supermarket.

He is busy checking out the prices of beer whilst I am mentally preparing myself for our mock kidnapping.

Sat up half the night writing him lists of all the things he needs to do whilst I am living out the life of my main character, locked away in an attic.

He has reminded me that he did live by himself for three years prior to meeting me, so he does know that on a daily basis he needs to wash, shave, apply deodorant, place all his dirty laundry in the basket, make the bed, feed the cat, eat and go to work.

I have written him a detailed schedule for looking after me whilst I am being held prisoner. He says that he will do his best to bring me my meals on time, make sure I have clean clothes everyday, provide a good supply of teas and coffees and ensure the heating is kept on, so I don’t get cold up there.

Plus I have also produced a very detailed list of all the ‘bad things’ he’s allowed to say to me, whilst playing the role of an evil kidnapper.

There are some ‘no go insult topics’ for him. He’s not allowed to say anything about:

  • My mother.
  • My weight.
  • My hormonal cycle.
  • My biscuit addiction.
  • My writing.
  • The fact that I have not had a single sale on my book series.
  • My choice of wallpaper in our bedroom.
  • My cat – who he doesn’t like.
  • The fact that I am a full-time writer who doesn’t earn a penny and who spends most of her writing days sat on Twitter.

11.05 a.m. We have loaded the shopping into the car and I have given him the nod.

In view of his back we have decided to just have a tussle up against the car, involving him grabbing my jacket and being a bit rough.

Immediately I leap into character.

‘Get off me you evil kidnapper!’ I scream, beating him with my handbag.

11.55 a.m. We are driving home in silence.

I am trying to forget about being surrounded by the supermarket security team who were concerned for my safety. I did enjoy announcing that I was a writer though.

12.54 p.m. I am in my makeshift attic prison and waiting patiently for Keith to bring me up some lunch. My stomach is groaning and I just hope he has been generous with his servings.

1.36 p.m. Still no sign of Keith or my lunch.

I am so hungry I am getting weak. My fried breakfast this morning now feels like a distant memory.

2.45 p.m. Still no sign of Keith or my lunch.

3.09 p.m. He appears with a tiny sandwich and some water.

‘What is this?’ I shriek, pointing to this mouse sized lunch.

He lets out a loud sigh before saying ‘tough!’ and walks out.

‘Keith!!’ I scream.

As he locks the attic door up he shouts ‘I think I am going to enjoy playing the kidnapper role Tina!’

 

Photo: Stocksnap

 

The Diary of Roxy Collins – Marcus – Part 29 #Romance #comedy

thediaryof

 

 

 

Thursday

9.15 a.m. Receive a mixed reaction from the office to my new vibrant red hair colour.

Martin, my line manager, takes one look at me, grips the desk and says ‘good grief Roxy what have you done!’

The nice men on the IT helpdesk give me a thumbs up and then ask me to fake an IT problem so they can spend time with me.

The young trendy girls in the office give me a ‘OMG – cooooooool hair!’

The older women in the office cast me a puzzled look and ask me whether the colour is permanent.

If I am honest, Wayne did get carried away with the colour of my hair. I was left speecheless when he gave me the mirror.

Matilda, my teenage daughter, arrived home from her Cheerleading training session, took one look at my hair and rolled her eyes. I then overheard her, later in her room, making a YouTube video titled ‘When your mother thinks she’s 21 again’.

9.25 a.m. Marcus, my senior manager, walks past my desk and gives me a smile. The weird fluttering sensation in my chest returns.

10.05 a.m. Receive text from Matilda, my teenage daughter, asking whether she can stay over at her new boyfriend Matt’s house tonight.

I am not sure whether Matilda thinks that I am suffering from amnesia. I have been saying no to this request for months. This is not happening. She’s not staying over at a boy’s house!

I text back ‘NO!’

Text back from Matilda ‘relax Mam, it is just like a girlie sleepover but with a boy!’

I text back ‘NO!’

Text from Matilda ‘Lou [her best friend] says her Mum would let her stay over with a boy’

I text back ‘I am not Lou’s mother!’

Text from Matila ‘Matt and I both hate you!’ and eight devil emojis.

10.20 a.m. Sat in a meeting where Marcus is presenting some business statistics.

All the department are sat on chairs in rows. Some of us are listening, some are nearly asleep (Mike from Finance), some are bored rigid, some are staring out of the window and some of us are drooling at Marcus.

For some unknown reason I can’t take my eyes off him; his fitted pink shirt, his grey pin stripe trousers and his styled grey flecked hair.

10.24 a.m. He’s still talking but I have noticed the occasional glance in my direction from him.

10.25 a.m. He’s done it again. Looked at me from across the room.

I am so glad no one else  has noticed this.

I am tapped on the shoulder, from behind, by Helen from Accounts. ‘Why does Mr Hot keep staring at you?’ she whispers.

I shrug my shoulders and keep my eyes firmly fixed on Marcus.

‘Maybe he likes your new hair colour’ Helen whispers, making me nod in agreement.

‘Maybe he fancies you!’ she whispers into my ear. The idea of Marcus being attracted to me starts to take shape. I am consumed by the fluttery sensation in my chest again and I can feel my cheeks heating up.

In an instant my brain runs through how our wedding day will look and whether or not I will invite anyone from the office to the evening celebration.

‘He’s a senior manager Roxy’ Helen whispers. My fantasy starts to crack.

‘Unlucky honey – he couldn’t date you anyway in his position of authority’ she hisses.

I turn around to glare at her face which is taut and twisted.

Helen has never really moved on from the blonde surfer who broke her heart. She hates to see anyone else getting some attention from the opposite sex.

My fantasy with Marcus is broken.

He gives me a look and I smile. The daydream was nice whilst it lasted.

For the record if I did get married Helen from Accounts will not be invited to the evening celebration.

10. 34 a.m. Get back to my desk and see email from Marcus. He wants to me come to his office as he has an update for me.

10.36 a.m. As I walk towards his office my phone bleeps. I casually peek at it and gasp. Its from Shaz, my heavily pregnant best friend.

‘I have pains – think its labour’ Shaz texts.

Quickly I text back. ‘You are four weeks early. Its probably Braxton-Hicks’

‘It hurts’ texts Shaz. She also includes eight crying emojis.

‘How many Snickers bars have you had?’ I text back.

‘Ten – why?’ texts Shaz.

‘Stop eating Snickers bars!’ I text back.

‘Are you still going to be my birthing partner?’ texts Shaz.

‘Yes – always – get some rest!’ I text back.

10. 37 a.m. I sit opposite Marcus and I can’t stop the fluttering sensation in my chest. It must be my breakfast repeating on me.

As he is on the phone I check my bag for some indigestion tablets. I don’t have any so I pop a mint.

10. 50 a.m. He finally puts down his phone and holds my gaze.

‘Roxy’ he says in his sexy smooth voice. I notice that his sea blue eyes are not sparkling today.

‘I am leaving the company’ he announces.

My heart sinks.

For a moment we both sit and stare at each other.

My phone starts ringing.

I let my phone ring. A lump has risen in my throat. I am actually sad to hear Marcus’s news.

‘There will be a formal briefing later. I wanted to tell you myself’ he says, breaking eye contact and shuffling some folders around his desk.

My phone starts ringing again from inside my handbag.

‘I am so sorry Marcus’ I say, trying not to cry. It is not good for your career to cry when a senior manager says they are leaving. All emotion must be kept to a minimum. I just hope I am not asked to sign his leaving card. I struggle with writing comments on leaving cards as my emotions run wild. I have been known to give people the wrong impression. Kevin from Accounts, who left the company, still thinks there is something between us six years on.

My phone will not stop ringing.

‘I think it is my daughter calling to tell me she hates me’ I moan, praying that whoever it decides to stop calling. I just hope Matilda has not taken it upon herself to accept Matt’s invitation of a sleep over and is now calling to tell me.

It will not be the first time that I have to physically remove her from a boy’s house. These teenage years are really hard.

Matilda seems to be a magnet for boys. I think we need to have a mother and daughter heart to heart.

‘i just wanted to say….’ he pauses. He takes a breath and looks away.

‘I will miss you’ the words fly out of my mouth and take me by surprise. I do struggle when my brain and mouth decide to disconnect.

His eyes widen and I watch his mouth fall open.

My phone is ringing. This has to be an emergency. I just hope Matilda is not over at Matt’s house having her own version of a sleepover…during the day.

I check the screen. Its Shaz. Quickly I answer it.

‘I need to go to the hospital Roxy, the pain is really bad’ groans Shaz.

‘Marcus’ I say. ‘I have to go, my best friend thinks she’s in labour and I am her birthing partner’

Marcus looks shocked and runs his hand through his grey flecked hair.

‘Isn’t the father about?’ he enquires.

‘Sadly not, he doesn’t want anything to do with her. It is a long story. He’s a postman’ I explain.

‘Do you have a car?’ he asks.

I shake my head. ‘I will get a taxi’ I say reaching for my purse.

‘Let me help you’ he says, rising from his chair and grabbing his jacket.

Now it is my turn to be shocked.

‘But you are the senior manager’ I say grabbing my bag.

‘I am leaving Roxy’ he says, whilst giving me a huge smile.

11.30 a.m. Marcus is driving at pace through town and towards the hospital.

Shaz and I are in the back of his Jaguar. I am holding Shaz’s hand whilst she groans and mumbles ‘Snickers bar….someone get me a Snickers Bar…help me!’

He keeps catching my eye in the mirror.

I am nervous for Shaz but I am consumed once again by this fluttery feeling.

11.40 a.m. Marcus and I are pushing Shaz in a wheelchair, up to the Maternity section of the hospital.

‘You didn’t have to do this!’ I shout as we race along.

‘I like rescuing you Roxy’ he says and turns to look at me.

We both stop pushing the wheel chair and stare at each other.

The world around us seems to stop.

All I can hear is the thudding of my heart.

‘Really?’ I ask.

‘That’s all I want to do’ he says, holding my gaze.

‘OMG Roxy I am in labour and you are on the bloody pull!’ shrieks Shaz.

 

 

The Diary of Roxy Collins – Tears In The Loo #romcom #Chicklit

thediaryof

 

Wednesday

3.16 P.M. I am creeping out of the ladies toilet with red puffy eyes and a handful of tissues.

Just had an emotional breakdown in the loo over:

  • Dan going back to Clara.
  • Being thirty something with three kids, two ex partners, living in a shabby rented house and no sign of Prince Charming.
  • My weight. My wobbly bits are getting bigger. No man is going to find me attractive  and no man is ever going to fall in love with me.
  • Coming to the conclusion that I am a lost cause.

3.18 P.M. Had to nip back into the toilet and go hide in a cubicle as the tears returned. I need to pull myself together. All this upset over a man, my life and my wobbly bits.

I believed Dan when he said Clara was out of his life. I took his word and in my head planned out a wonderful future for us. He betrayed me.

3. 20 P.M. I am once again creeping out of the toilets. By the time I get back to my desk upstairs my eyes will have gone back to normal and no one will know that I have been crying in a toilet.

Keep repeating ‘I must get a grip of myself!’

3. 21 P.M. Turn corner in corridor and bump smack bang into Marcus, my senior manager. The one who I kissed over a photocopying machine at a Christmas party last year and the one who saved me in the cinema from my vampire date, a few weeks ago.

Avert eyes to the floor.

‘Are you ok Roxy?’ he asks softly.

This is the worst thing anyone can say to me when I am trying to stop being emotional.

I can’t hold it back.

Here it comes. A huge wave of tears, loud sobbing, inability to get my breath and a runny nose.

3.24 P.M. Marcus has escorted me to a quiet area of the staff canteen. He’s cancelled his meeting and has gone to buy me a coffee.

I am sat telling myself to get a grip. Crying in front of senior management is basically like hailing a ‘career taxi!’

3.27 P.M. Marcus has amazing blue eyes. He’s talking to me and I am distracted. Why haven’t I noticed these before?

Oh yea – I was drunk at the Christmas party and we have both been avoiding each other ever since.

Make decision in head not to go into detail about the reason for my upset. I must remember he’s a senior manager and he doesn’t need to know about my problems.

3.31 P.M. Ok so I am now telling him everything. All the stuff with Dan comes out, my fears of being a spinster and my wobbly bits.

Oh God I have just told my senior manager I have wobbly bits that are getting bigger!

3.35 P.M. Marcus is being sweet. He says that I am bound to find someone else and that I need to stay positive.

3.36 P.M. Just asking him how his dating life is going. I think it’s fair that he gives me an update too.

All the females in the office know Marcus is on the dating apps. He is so attractive for an older man.

We all sit and talk about what we would do if someone like Marcus liked or winked at us on a dating app. The majority of single women in the office reckon they would wet themselves in shock and a small minority say that they would run out into the street screaming.

3.37 P.M. His dating life is not going very well. It hasn’t been doing that well for over a year he says, looking at me with those sparkling blue eyes.

3.38 P.M. He says there is someone he has his eye on but its complicated. There would have to be some changes in his life and he’s not sure whether that person feels the same way.

3.39 P.M. I watch his lips move as he tells me about his feelings for this person.

For a moment I am back against the office photocopier kissing him like crazy whilst printing out 100 stapled copies of some poor junior’s report.

3.45 P.M. Walking back to the office. Marcus has left me as he has a meeting.

As we parted in the corridor there was a weird silence between us. I can’t explain it but it was like he wanted to tell me something but couldn’t find the words.

I thanked him for the coffee and made no photocopying offers.

7.56 P.M. Having my hair done in my lounge by Wayne my mobile hairdresser.

I am sat eating a huge bar of chocolate whilst Wayne eradicates my grey hairs and makes me a brighter shade of red.

This is what you do after a relationship falls apart; dye your hair and eat chocolate.

My wobbly bits are a lost cause. I might as well enjoy myself.

‘So Roxy tell your Uncle Wayne everything!’ says Wayne, whilst performing some hair magic using some bits of foil and a foul smelling substance.

I download everything about Dan and I.

‘Nasty business. I wouldn’t have trusted him with that Clara woman’ says Wayne, shaking his head in disapproval.

‘Thanks Wayne’ I say, before wedging a huge chunk of chocolate into my mouth.

‘So when are you getting back on the dating apps?’ asks Wayne, grinning at me.

‘I don’t think I am destined to be with someone’ I say, letting out a sigh and reaching for more chocolate.

‘Rubbish Roxy!’ snaps Wayne, tapping me on the hand as though I am a naughty child stealing chocolate.

‘You are a beautiful and vivacious red head. It would be a waste, a travesty  if you were left on the shelf!’ he cries.

‘I don’t think I can face another relationship’ I moan, feeling tired at the thought of getting close to someone else and being heartbroken again.

‘Nonsense!’ barks Wayne. ‘Get out your phone now, log in and we can have a little nose at who is out there!’

‘No Wayne I can’t!’ I whimper, feeling tears prick my eyes.

Wayne stops fiddling about with my hair and bits of foil. He stands directly in front of me with his hands on the hips of his silver metallic jeans.

‘Excuse me Roxy!’ he screeches. ‘You are NOT giving up on love! Your hair is going to look amazeballs  and you are one hot lady!’

‘I am destined to be a spinster!’ I cry.

‘You will be if you don’t stop snivelling and get back out there Roxy, now come on where is your fighting spirit?’ cries Wayne, glaring at me.

I reach across to the coffee table and grab my phone.

Wayne squeals as I open up my favourite dating app.

Marcus is staring back at me from the dating app. His profile is on my list of suggested dates.

‘Whoa who is that hunk?’ asks Wayne staring over my shoulder. ‘My goodness he looks just like George Clooney!’

‘That’s …Marcus…my senior manager’ I say feeling an odd fluttery sensation inside my chest.

‘You are one lucky girl working for him!’ says Wayne before letting out a sigh.

I find myself gazing into Marcus’s eyes and wondering whether he remembers our kiss.

 

There will be more from Roxy next week.

She’ll be coming to an end soon as I need to turn her into a book and a podcast!!

Yes folks I have plans to make Roxy into a comedy podcast.

I will keep you all updated. 

Photo: Shutterstock