Being a writer is tough! On my blog I am looking at ways in which a writer’s life could be made easier.
Following on from my post ‘Useful Super Powers For Writers’ I thought it would be cool to look at some useful spells for writers, which could transform their creative life.
As I adore Harry Potter I have to use J.K. Rowling’s spells for this post.
For noting: a writer would need a magical wand for these spells and may need to have studied at Hogwarts but that’s just low-level detail.
So, here are the spells from Harry Potter, that I think would be really useful for writers:
- Cheering Charm. This clever spell causes the person upon whom the spell was cast to become happy and contented. Heavy-handedness with the spell may cause the person to break into an uncontrollable laughing fit. The writer could cast this spell on a stern looking editor who is about to give them some crushing feedback. With a flick of the writer’s wand the writer could make their editor start to laugh and giggle. Can you imagine turning an editor’s frown upside down? Yay!
- Imperio (Imperius Curse). This cheeky spell causes the victim of the curse to obey the spoken/unspoken commands of the caster. With a swish of the writer’s wand the literary agent or publisher would say ‘yes!’ straight away. The clever writer could even use their Imperio spell to magic up some publisher generosity with their advance and royalty payments too! Thanks to this spell the writer could have published books and a healthy bank balance – sigh!
- Obscuro. This handy little spell causes a blindfold to appear over the victim’s eyes and would be really valuable for a writer. Imagine the writer’s mother is reading their draft and is a page away from a steamy romance scene. No writer wants their mother to raise her eyebrows and shake her head in disapproval at a naughty bit that they have written. With a tap of their wand the writer could cast this spell and sneakily turn over a couple of pages whilst their mother is plunged into darkness.
- Slug Vomiting Charm. This AMAZING spell causes a jet of green light to strike the victim, who then vomits slugs for an undefined period of time (greater than five hours). Writers could use this spell on haters, readers who give 1 star reviews or anyone who says anything naughty (justified or unjustified) about their writing or grammar!
- Silencio (Silencing Charm). This wonderful spell silences something immediately. A writer could flick their wand and silence a loved one who is busy complaining about the state of the house / lack of housework duties from the writer.
- Obliteration Charm. This handy spell removes things not wished to be seen again. With a flick of their wand the writer could remove things they never want to see again like pesky typos, annoying grammar issues, badly worded paragraphs or dull characters. Editing would be a delight with this spell and writers would be busy tweeting #obliteratingmytypos and #lovingeditingwithspells
- Obliviate (Memory Charm). This special little spell is used to hide a memory of a particular event. OMG this would be really useful for a writer! They could hide all bad memories relating to their writing. There would be no more dwelling on receiving a rejection or having a sleepless nights about some criticism that they have received. Writers could just move on with their creative lives. Sigh!
- Colloportus. This useful spell magically locks doors and this could be really valuable for a writer with noisy and needy loved ones. With a swish of their wand they could magically lock the door of the room they are writing in and…hey presto – peace and quiet!
- Refilling Charm. This amazing spell refills whatever drink was originally in the container. Just imagine how useful this would be for a writer in the middle of a late night writing session who has run out of coffee or even wine *whimper* With a flick of their wand the writer’s glass could be magically refilled with that pleasant and refreshing Sauvignon Blanc…
- Accio (Summoning Charm). This cheeky spell is useful for summoning objects. An exhausted writer could be sat at their writing desk and in need of something sugary to help keep their creative energy levels topped up. They are too weary to get up off their chair and go into the kitchen, so they flick their wand and…..happily summon a bar of chocolate or a doughnut from the cake box. It would just magically appear in front of them – squeal!
With these useful spells our creative life would be filled with lucrative publishing contracts, cheerful editors, wine glasses that magically keep refilling and annoying typos that just disappear!! OMG this would be like literary paradise..
Why didn’t my parents send me to Hogwarts?