Writer friends are special people ❤️
Can you imagine if there was a job description for a writer friend, do you think it might go something like this…
About The Role
Writer friend needed to provide long-term emotional support and friendship to a fellow writer.
Hours: Can vary each week. Dependent upon a number of factors:
- The emotional state of the writer.
- The stage the writer is at with their latest project.
- The writer’s view of their current project.
- The writer’s view of their own creative abilities.
Location: Can be based anywhere in the world as long as there is access to Twitter.
Key Duties / Responsibilities:
- Must be on hand to provide email, text, phone and tweeting support to the writer. This will include evening, late night and weekend shifts.
- Must be able to provide a quick literary assessment of the writer’s new story idea, which might be written in the form of a brief text or a photo of a diagram involving arrows, stick people and some key words.
- Must share the writer’s thoughts on possible Hollywood actor castings for when their book is eventually turned into a film.
- Must excel at tweeting thought provoking GIFs.
- Must be able to assist their writer with fashion advice on what to wear when meeting a literary agent.
- Must be able to diplomatically suggest that in view of the writer’s messy eating habits, ordering food when in presence of literary agent might not be such a good idea.
- Must be able to send supportive and reassuring words when writer texts them photo of the mess they made whilst eating in front of a literary agent.
- Must be able to show empathy when the writer’s work has been criticised by others, rejected or ignored.
- Must be able to send an array of snapchat selfies to cheer up writer.
- Must enjoy the idea of having a ‘creative working lunch’ with their writer, must excel at daydreaming about the intellectual conversations which will take place at the event…but on arrival be happy to just talk nonsense for a couple of hours, drink wine, have a laugh and forget all about writing.
- Must be able to make the writer feel better about their creative abilities by finding lots of faults with successful best-selling books.
- Must be able to tweet the life out of inspiring writer quotes.
- Must possess the confidence to tell the writer to ‘get a grip!’ and to ‘pull themselves together’ when needed.
- Must be on hand to beta read when needed.
- Must be able pull out the positives from a project, which the writer has admitted is quite possibly the worst thing they have ever written.
- Must be able to think on their feet and help the writer get out of a plot hole when called upon.
- Must be able to talk books for hours and hours and hours…
- Must be able to quickly get to the root cause of the writer’s literary issue from a simple text which reads ‘Send help’.
- Must be able to remain calm when the writer is having a creative tantrum.
- Must be able to nag the writer when they are busy procrastinating.
- Must have a good working knowledge of the writer’s brain and their emotional limits.
- Must be able to offer late night creative counselling, when the writer is in a low mood about their writing and future literary career.
- Must be able to share the writer’s love of coffee, wine, chocolate, cheesecake, cake and cheese boards.
- Must not be phased by hearing the writer scream, ‘I QUIT WRITING BOOKS!’
- Must love the writer’s characters like they are their own.
- Must be able to bring some much needed humour to a serious conversation about the writer’s latest attempt at a sex scene.
- You will have attained the highest qualification possible in patience.
- You will be highly experienced in getting carried away with your writing, struggling with rejection, creative tantrums, hating your writing, being blinded by your writing, spending too much time on social media when you should be writing and daydreaming about your book being turned into a Hollywood blockbuster.
- You will have reached the same ‘bonkers’ level as the writer.
Package and Benefits:
- No salary. All done out of friendship 🙂
Have a wonderful day folks!