When A Writer Uses Romance As A Form Of Procrastination #writers #writing #writerslife

Romance can be a pleasurable form of procrastination for a writer.

It can bring a smile to the writer’s face and in some cases make them skip back to their writing desk, once the break has come to an end.

However, it does have the potential to leave a writer’s loved one feeling shocked and in some cases bewildered at this sudden outpouring of romantic thoughts and desires.

Let me explain!

There are 5 stages:

  1. Pain In The Neck. The writer is busy at the literary coalface, creating wild and wonderful things on a Word document. To the outside world things might look harmonious but to the writer’s loved one things are very different. The writer has snapped at the slightest interruption. They have instilled fear into their loved one, by giving them, what can only be described as, a ‘death stare’ on numerous occasions. When the writer has not been stomping about muttering stuff about lifeless characters and rubbish opening sentences they are slamming doors and moaning about not getting any peace and quiet. The writer is quite simply a pain in the neck!
  2. Procrastinating Urge. The writer will get a strong urge to procrastinate. They will have grown weary with their draft or be suffering from W.I.P boredom. After moving a plant pot around on their desk, eating a bar of chocolate, firing off a couple of tweets and moaning on Facebook about their inability to write anything decent they will start searching for another form of procrastination. They will desperately need to take their mind off writing and ideally return in ten minutes feeling refreshed and engaged.
  3. Loved One Appears On Writer’s Radar.  Their loved will suddenly appear on their radar either by dropping them off a fresh cup of tea / coffee or popping their head round the door to ask the writer what they want for dinner. In view of the writer’s earlier pain in the neck stage the loved one will be a little cautious and act as though they are walking on egg shells. It has been quite an intense and emotional day so far. The writer has little interest in returning to their writing and will be actively searching for a guilt-free break away from their writing. It will be at this point that the urge for romance will take hold of the writer.
  4. Romance. The writer will signal to their loved one that they are no longer the angry tiger in Writing Corner and have now transformed into a playful kitten. This signal will come in the form of a cheeky wink, a lingering gaze or a few flirty jokes. This dramatic change in personality will, at first, take their loved one by surprise. Cue their frightened expression and some muttering under their breath. As the writer rises from their chair, still winking and perhaps whispering a line or two from John Donne’s poems (we are writers and always turn to the literary greats when faced with certain situations), the loved one will get the feeling that their writer means business.
  5. Harmony. Peace and harmony have been restored and the writer has skipped back to Writing Corner. Feeling refreshed after a kiss and a cuddle on the sofa the writer lets out a sigh of contentment and tries to get their head back into writing their second chapter. Half an hour later they will realise that they have just sprinkled some much-needed romance into their bleak Gothic novel. Meanwhile their loved one will still be recovering in the kitchen. They will be flabbergasted at how things can go from receiving a ‘death stare’ to being told they have ‘sexy ears’ – in the space of twenty minutes.  Sigh!

Have a great day writers and enjoy those romance breaks!

Photo: Stocksnap.

Psst: my podcast has gone live. Roxy has been let loose on iTunes. 

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I am a blonde writer of romantic comedy fiction.

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