As you all know I am looking for witty guest bloggers who can write something about romance which will make us smile.
Chase McCann is a very funny lady who blogs about the conversations she has with her husband and I can’t help but smile at her posts. I knew she’d be perfect for a guest post.
She’s also taken me out of my blogging comfort zone and made me add GIF’s to this post! *Exasperated look* Being someone who was sadly born with no technical skills whatsoever you would not believe how hard this has been for me. Took me 3 years to master adding basic links. 🙄
Me: when a guest blogger asks me to add GIFs!
So, please welcome Chase McCann to BlondeWriteMore:
First of all, I cannot even believe I’ve been invited to play in a Big Kid’s sandbox. Lucy has asked me to guest post and while I know this is mostly about her wanting to take a morning off, I’m choosing to be honored that she picked me to entertain y’all for a day.
I’m Chase, and my blog is Actual Conversations with My Husband, which is only pertinent to what we’re talking about today, because he wasn’t supposed to be my husband. See, I was dead set against ever getting married, but he tricked me into it. Someday, I will tell that story, but it is not this day.
The point is, now that I’ve been married for more than a dozen years, I feel abundantly qualified to tell you why you should get married—today, if possible—even though nobody could give me a satisfactory reason back then.
People will stop asking, “But when are you gonna get maaaaaarrieeeeed?” Now you might think, because you are a Reasonable Person, that “when nobody fucking cares anymore” is an acceptable answer to that question but I’ll tell you: in my experience, it works only 4% of the time, and never at all upon repeats. So if you’re already sick of the question or see yourself getting there, just go get the damned license and do it. Don’t invite anyone—I didn’t, and it was the best! Fair warning: they will instead start asking procreation questions. I haven’t yet figured out a way around this one, since I started getting asked when I was going to have another one while my son was still a popcorn-sized blobby thing in my uterus. At this point, all you can do is cut off all social ties, become a shut-in, and start a blog. I’ll probably subscribe.
Taxes are lower. More complicated, too: for the last three years my husband’s employer cocked up something on his taxes, which meant that our filing either got delayed, amended, or—in one case—so royally fucked up that two states ended up billing us not only for everything, but for our previous year’s refund. But that one time I had to go to an IRS office to bribe an agent to forge some documents? I had someone right by my side, keeping me company and watching out for less-malleable agents.* That’s what really matters.
The fights you can have once you’re married really are better. Sorry, sexy, hip, dating-forever couples, but it’s true. Look, when you’re dating you can argue about Really Big Issues because they matter; it is the province of the married to go to the mat over petty shit. For example, when we were house hunting, we found the perfect house. You know that feeling you’re supposed to get when you find the wedding dress? It was that, in house form. A giant, ancient Victorian with two staircases and all the original woodwork but they’d added a huge modern kitchen. Why do I not live in that magnificent home? Because the floors squeaked. Now, if we were only dating, that would have been quite the row, and we might have broken up over his cruel nature and his dastardly plan to crush the only dream I’d ever had. Instead, we got into it over brunch in front of the realtor, and agreed that I would never mention the house again (and I haven’t, you see, because I’m a good wife!) and he would simply be wrong about everything else until the end of time, even after death. That’s the kind of bargain you can’t make unless you’ve already cleaved yourself unto someone for all eternity. Instead, our biggest fight ever—the one that resulted in calling out a man to repair the dryer, the one where I threw a pot at his head (dented it forever, too, I’m so bitter about it because it was an excellent pot) the one that raged for hours—was over avocados. Beat that, daters.
Their stuff becomes your stuff. That gorgeous barware you’ve been eyeing? Yours. That chair you hate? Yours to curb. My husband brought to our marriage the most delightful offerings of a gorgeous marble chess set he picked up in Athens for $10 and every item of clothing he’d owned since junior high. That’s love. Does your mate have nothing you covet, nothing you’re eager to backyard bonfire? Then you should probably consider what it is about this person you find so attractive; they sound boring as fuck.
Built-in social excuse. You think you’ve got one now because you’re in a “loving, committed relationship” but let me tell you, behind your back (and sometimes to your face, let’s be honest) your friends people you can’t avoid are using words like “codependent” and saying that you “need to get out more.” Because your boyfriend/girlfriend, no matter how long you’ve been together, lived together, no matter how many kids/pets/hanging plants you’re raising together, “isn’t supposed to dictate your social schedule.” Which puts you in the awkward position of actually telling Iris that you don’t want to join her Estonian yak hair macramé group—leaving you vulnerable to an office-wide email chain about whether it is, in fact, racist to ask if there are even yaks in Estonia, and who has time for that? Not you, that’s for damn sure!
And there you have it. Five excellent reasons to get married! I tell you what, if someone had presented me with this list while we were dating, he wouldn’t have had to trick me into it. Ahem.
* True story. Unless this counts as some sort of legally-binding confession, in which case I was never even there that day.
Oh Chase you made me laugh! (and cry whilst inserting those GIFs…only joking)
Thanks a million for this post.
If you want to read more about Chase please click here.
If you would like to guest post on BlondeWriteMore please get in touch.
Have a fabulous day!